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[redpeony]

I am ridiculously annoyed right now and don't want to say anything stupid/mean that's unnecessary to the people involved so I'm just going to rant on cB. :p

So there is this little girl (well she is 17, two years younger) that is freakin in love with my boyfriend. I met her formally once and saw her after once so she is clearly aware that he is taken. I always suspected she had some feelings for him and thought she was super annoying but I just ignored it for the most part.

So two days ago my bf is hanging out at my house early in the morning. And he calls someone and leaves a msg, saying 'hey, just wanted to see if you were okay... yeah take care'. And I asked who it was and he told me a friend had called him lastnight while she was in downtown, and she had said 'I'M IN DOWWWWWWNTOWWWWWWWWWWWWNNNN. IM SOOOOOOOOOOOO DRUUUUUUUNK'. And immediately after he left that msg she called back and asked where he was and if he could hang out. He said he was busy and she asked where he was and he said 'a friend's house'

I got a little annoyed but at that point I didn't know who it was. I left the room and then when he came to find me I asked who it was. He said it was her (let's call her betty). I said 'I think Betty likes you.' And then he surprisingly said 'yeah.. that's my sisters' theory too.' I asked him how often she called him and he said 'probably every 2-3 days.'
I got mad at him for telling her he was just at a 'friend's house (girls I'm sure you know how I feel if you've been in that position). And he said 'it's kind of inappropriate for me to be at my gf's house this early in the morning'.. which I understood because I probably would've told my friends I was just at a friends house as well. But it was HER he was talking to!

Okay.. correct me if I'm wrong but I think that while I believe myself to be a reasonable girlfriend, it is completely inappropriate for a girl to call a guy every 2-3 days to hang out if he has a girlfriend. She asks for rides, asks to hang out, calls him when she's drunk. It's ridiculous!

I talked to one of my friends about it and she also knows Betty. She informed me that Betty has been in love with my guy for the last 3 years.

I don't think my guy is helping the situation AT ALL. Calling her back in the morning was a nice gesture, sure, but if a girl likes you it's only going to push her on. Picking up her phone calls, agreeing to hang out with her (in a group).. all of that and I'm pretty sure he is giving her the impression that she has a chance.

My boyfriend is being an idiot about it too. His sisters have told him that he should just get me to yell at her haha. I wouldn't of course but all my bf said about that was 'but it's so mean!' In a sense I do feel sorry for Betty because she is supposedly good friends with bf's sister but his sister actually hates her. She also has no father figure in her life and I'm sure it seems like my bf takes care of her and is one of the few guys who are genuinely nice to her.

But I don't like it. I want to be nice, really I do. But I am so tempted to go talk at her. I don't feel that our relationship is threatened by her but she is just.. plain annoying! I will talk to my bf about it for sure and I don't demand things from him ever. But I really want to demand that he stops talking to her so much, stop hanging out with her, stop calling her back the next morning and stop giving her freakin ideas! I know he says he feels sorry for her but I don't really care about her. She's freakin annoying and flirty and a skank (her last bf dumped her b/c she was too flirty).

I am struggling so much with this and I hate myself for not having more patience. I can't talk to my bf yet because he's camping for a few days.

How can I handle this and keep my own dignity and still treat her as a respectable human being?

[*Insurmountable*]

I really think you have your head on the right way. Your not being so mean about it that its going to hurt her feelings but I do know how you feel completely. I went through this type of situation with my current boyfriend..One of his ex girlfriends later in life became like his best friend and her family was like his second family. After a while they just really started hanging out a lot and they went to a few parties together and she would get drunk and stuff and really it just put him in a bad situation where something could possibly happen, you know? Well over time eventually one time they had to sleep in the same bed and he was fully dressed and of course she said "I can't sleep with jeans on" so she actually had the nerve to take off her jeans and go get back in bed and they both went to sleep. :rollseyes: I couldn't stand her at all for over half of our relationship (were still together) although eventually over time it really did effect me and me and my boyfriend talked about it all and how I felt. Which I think is something you and your boyfriend should do. If you two are really open and have good communication with each other then tell him how you really feel about this girl and ask him if he wouldn't hang out with her as much or talk to her as much because in your opinion it does seem like hes giving her the impression that she has a chance with him. Perhaps throw in that you have heard that she really likes him or loves him even. If he really cares about your relationship I'm sure he'll do it...

Also perhaps tell him that it would be best for your relationship to do this and don't hang out with her until she is really completely over him and shows that she is.. It may take a while and it may be hard for Betty to take being ignored and stuff for a little while but I'm sure she will catch on and eventually get over your boyfriend.


I hope this helps. Although really everything I said I'm sure you already thought about doing.

I wish you the best of luck and I'm sure everything will work out

[msladyliberty]

oh oh oh!!

Just tell him this: "How would you feel if I had some dude name 'Brad' calling me as much as 'Betty' does, and asks to hang out, call me when he's drunk, or asked if I wanted a ride?"

If it were me, I'd feel totally disrespected. I understand how you feel, because I'm that way too! I have so much patience for that kind of stuff, but I know it's annoying! Just tell him how you feel. Tell him about how he's giving off the wrong 'message' to this girl. Sure he's being nice about it, but he should at least give you some respect.

And if he says "it's nothing," then invite yourself to they're "hang-outs, picking her up, saying 'HI' to her ass when she calls." Make your presence known! Don't let her disrespect you like that. Sometime guys are too dumb to see what's going on, so it helps if you step in. Of course, be nice when you do it, but be firm.

[*Michelle*]

Tell her to back off politely. Simple as that. People may think it's a somewhat bitchy move, but you've got a right to if she's causing you to feel any jealousy or anger.

Plus you're older. ;)

[Jennifer]

I agree with the other three..

It seems like 'Betty' really does have something for your guy.
If I were you I'd feel really really betrayed. But that's just me, I'm easily bugged.

If I were you I'd talk to her.. sounds hard but it'll probably help you feel a bit better.

Also you should sit down you boyfriend and tell him that it's really bugging you, considering you haven't done so already.
It seems he's a softie and cares about this girl, saying 'it's so mean' but if he really loves you he should do what he can to make it up.

[pinayprincess]

you have every right to be mad, but its the matter of trust... i my bf does that sometimes.. i mean the whole "im with a friend" w/ his parents [b/c his parents know we like LIVE for each other] lol and hanging out with girls? he rarely does but when does he is cautious.... i know some parts are sometimes left out but i trust him enough.. so trust! if theres something going on i say bust his ass! lol

[oooohlala]

the next time she whines to hang out with him, go with him. be classy (and not slobbery over him to prove he is yours) and remain distant/cold from her. glare at her a lot. make her jealous :)