almost 9 months, should I put out? Options

[fugu]

I would be lying if I didn't say I want to go for 3rd base or for a home run but I was planning to try and restrain myself from a home run until college. The person I'm with brings stuff like foreplay and sex up a lot and I've gotten used to it as just talk and treat it that way. They tell me "8 months in, relationships that lasted this long have done more things then we have". There's some tension in the air and because I didn't give in and said yes when now they're seriously talking about doing stuff together. I'm now a repressed robot causing the person I'm with to be sexually frustrated I guess.


My question to CB is,
Do you think being sexually active is necessary? Do you think it helps a relationship stronger? My mind's a mess I don't know whether saying yes and doing stuff would just be giving in and being in the norm or if I'm really repressed and I should just jump in. 411==> I'm a incoming senior. Thanks to any replies.

[*Michelle*]

It's your decision. We can't tell you what's right or wrong. If you feel that you're not ready to go into the next level of sexual activity, then you're not. Simple as that. And there's nothing wrong with knowing your limits and your comfort zone.

[shiftieeyedpnoi]

Butt doesn't count.

- CEP

[tooeffingcrazy]

Just have sex. You're going to be a slut anyways.

[HakunaMatata]

^Wow, that was entirely unnecessary.

[tooeffingcrazy]

^Wow, that was entirely unnecessary.

Sorry, but it was entirely necessary. Look at her post. It just screams the word. Why not just have sex?

Truth hurts. Deal with it.

[fugu]

Gahaha thanks for the responses. It's great seeing different perspectives and such. When I brought up the topic the subject was still new so what I truely wanted still warped by the conversation and I just wanted not to deal with it and make my own decision. Yeah, I guess if I'm resorting to asking CB for their opinions and I'm unable to make up my own decisions then it's obvious I'm not ready just yet for anything and looking for what's in the norm doesn't really change that.

[Castaway]

no. i don't care so much about that so if it happens then it happens. but i don't look for that in a relationship. it could happen though and i wouldn't mind if i love the person.

[steezahh]

Just do it when you feel ready. If someone seem's to pressure you for it, then obviously they don't care about your feelings. Do protect yourself.

[Becks539]

I see it like this...
If a guy keeps bringing it up and you finally do give in and you keep doing stuff that you're unsure about but do it to please him, he's going to stop loving you, and start loving what you do for him. It sounds like he just wants sex out of your relationship. Like a previous poster said, once you do it, there's no going back so you have to make sure you're ready. Good luck.

[lomanasq]

Conent Removed.

[xFaith]

Strenghten is not the right word.
Complicate is. It complicates your relationship. This doenst have to be bad though.
If you dont want it just dont do it. You will regret it. But also, dont think about it that much. It'll happen eventually. If its with that guy, thats your choice. If you think you'll stay way longer with him you can seriously think about it. But if you dont think so, dont do it.

[treschicgeek]

Honestly, I'd wait. If you think "we should have sex when we reach the 10 month mark", then, in a way it wouldn't mean much. Don't just do it to "do it".

I've been with my boyfriend for around 2 years now, and I haven't "put out" yet. The way I see it, I'm just a kid (I'm 16 and he's 17), a little too "immature" for that stuff yet, and just...can't see myself having sex. Don't get me wrong, I love him, trust him, am content him, and all that stuff. We have chemistry like whoa too. But... yeah. Like I said despite all that, 2 years later and I'm just not ready for that yet.

Luckily he understands and isn't pressuring me.

If half the thoughts going through your mind when you think of your relationship with him is "should I have sex with him now?", then I think that you should wait. Let it come naturally. You'll know when you're ready. Most likely when you are you just won't have to think about it too much.

[jilianceleste]

I don't think being sexually active is imperative to a good relationship. But I have seen the effects of people who have sex for their first time.


My best friend and his girlfriend apparently had sex with each other and it was the first time for both. And even tho they broke up soon after, there was always this interesting tie between the two, that seemed more important than their single relationship.

As for pregnancy, it's best to avoid it unless it is truly what you want. And if you don't want to think about how it will affect you. Think about the baby;; is it better to continue and let it live? Could you manage it and give off a happy life for it? Or would it be cruel to make it go through a life without the comforts we all wish to give?

It's a rather important subject, I suppose. It all relies on how you and your love care about each other.

[emazing]

People get caught up.

[SSJ Kenshin]

"Whatever happens, happens I guess."

Truer words will never be spoken.

[xSybarite]

.....
Why are you asking if you should have sex with your boyfriend on an internet forum?

Why don't you have sex when your ready?

If you have to ask us, then you're obviously not ready. Why don't you talk about it with him and only do it when/if you feel ready.

[x_curse_of_the_c...]

don't have sex until your ready period. it doesn't matter if you have been going out for 7 years or more the answer is always do what you feel comfortable doing.