Yeah...so....i need some advice please, its about my internet boyfriend >.> dont flame me |
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 Jul 29 2007, 04:33 PM
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#1
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Newbie  Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 500,702  |
Ok, so like, Ive had a boyfriend over the internet now for like a little over two years. We've never met face to face one, cause neither of us can afford to fly him here, and my dad doesnt want to let me go out of state.
My parents have known about brandon since a few months into the relationship, and they seem fine with it. Its just, well, you know how dads are with their daughters. What i know of brandon (my boyfriend) is that hes a very good man, albeit jealous out of his mind at times, but he has his reasons. I love him, atleast I think i do. How can you know though if youve never even been face to face before? Also, ive cheated on him a few times already cause...well im clingy and i need someone to hug me and kiss me and shit, and he cant do that whiel hes in arizona and im in texas. He always took me back though...begged me back... Basicaly, what i want to know, is should I keep waiting for when i get to meet him? Its been over two years...and its getting hard to think about someone i care so much for being so far away... I have other friends i know over the internet (that ive met IN REAL LIFE before i talked to them over the net) that are tryign to set me up with their buddies, and i dont want to pass up on oppurtunity...i know a few of the people they are trying to set me up with already and i do like them alot... *sigh* i dug myself into a hole didnt i? well...thats my predicament...any advice? |
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Jul 29 2007, 04:50 PM
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#2
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 6 Joined: Jul 2007 Member No: 552,646 |
oh my gosh your relationship IS exactly like mine.
 can you convince your dad in any way to let you visit him? y'know, extra chores, or extrodinarily good grades. >< maybe your mom can help convince your dad? |
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Jul 29 2007, 05:02 PM
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#3
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 500,702 |
QUOTE(kingdomhgirl @ Jul 29 2007, 03:50 PM)  oh my gosh your relationship IS exactly like mine. can you convince your dad in any way to let you visit him? y'know, extra chores, or extrodinarily good grades. >< maybe your mom can help convince your dad? no no, that isnt the problem the only reaosn i cant meet him is cause we dotn have the money for it and i cant go out of state, i mean i unerstand why he doesnt want to let me and i respect that. I personaly dont want to go to arizona either...and brandon was fine with comeing here he just does alot of the work in his house, and takes care of his sisters kids and shit like that so he cant afford to fly or even drive here. |
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Jul 29 2007, 05:20 PM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 265 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 48,806 |
im going to step over the whole internet and meeting puddle here
i think you already made your own choice. "i dont want to pass up on oppurtunity...i know a few of the people they are trying to set me up with already and i do like them alot..." you care for this brandon guy and thats good but at the same you arnt even faithful to him, before and now. sorry for being harsh but you dont need to ask for advice on this 
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Jul 29 2007, 05:25 PM
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#5
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"Not a nice guy." Group: Member Posts: 79 Joined: Jul 2007 Member No: 552,807 |
Internet relationships ftl
...unless you meet up within 1 month and bone. which would be like sexpartner.com shit |
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Jul 29 2007, 05:33 PM
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#6
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 Naomi loves you. Y'all may call me NaNa Group: Official Designer Posts: 2,925 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 427,774 |
I say go with a dude you know face to face because Brandon could be some fat old man that live's in a trailer. You don't know, you could of seen his picture but there's identity theft, you know.
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Jul 29 2007, 05:37 PM
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#7
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 Senior Member Group: Posts: 8,274 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,001 |
I personally think you either give up on him or save up your money.
What is the point of the relationship when you can't love through the eyes, cant even see him, cant detect him, don't know his atmosphere, his world, or know his signs or what kind of person he really is. You have no way of seeing his face. If you still want to see him, save your money. If not, then you probably don't "love" that much. Then, get over him and find a better relationship. This long-distance relationship is ridiculous considering the fact that you cheated. That's not loyal and I understand you needed to be "touchy", but you threw yourself to somebody. You didn't find ways to see him although your dad didn't allow you to fly over state. It doesn't mean you can never see him. Save up your money now and wait until you get out of the house as a responsible adult. Know your shit and places in life. remember, education should come before relationship so you can keep your goals straight. |
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Jul 29 2007, 05:42 PM
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#8
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 500,702 |
wow, thanks for the obvious one line answers.
atleast lostgrl16 put some time into her answer. and seriously...you all that are like INTERNET LOVE = BAD! stop, ive heard it all. I know teh risks. the question was after two years should i continue to wait, now should i just dump him cause he might some old fat guy which by the way he is rather heavyset. these are some of the pictures hes shown me and ive seen him on cam.  before you ask, thats his NEICE, not his daughter....  
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Jul 29 2007, 05:55 PM
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#9
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 5 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 500,702 |
QUOTE(Fist @ Jul 29 2007, 05:37 PM) I personally think you either give up on him or save up your money. What is the point of the relationship when you can't love through the eyes, cant even see him, cant detect him, don't know his atmosphere, his world, or know his signs or what kind of person he really is. You have no way of seeing his face. If you still want to see him, save your money. If not, then you probably don't "love" that much. Then, get over him and find a better relationship. This long-distance relationship is ridiculous considering the fact that you cheated. That's not loyal and I understand you needed to be "touchy", but you threw yourself to somebody. You didn't find ways to see him although your dad didn't allow you to fly over state. It doesn't mean you can never see him. Save up your money now and wait until you get out of the house as a responsible adult. Know your shit and places in life. remember, education should come before relationship so you can keep your goals straight. thanks for atleast putting effort into your post, but hun I actualy did try, many times. I cant work right now cause i havent got a car to drive myself to work, so the only money i get is gifts. I saved up for a year, and by the time i got enough money for a plane ticket my mother got really sick and i had to help pay her hospital bill...and dotn go telling me i didnt have to pay. what, im suposed to leave my mother in debt just so i can see brandon? |
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| *shotgunFUNERAL* |
Jul 29 2007, 07:35 PM
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#10
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first and foremost, you have not cheated on him. i don't even understand how you can call it a relationship, but i guess i don't understand online dating because personally, not even knowing/seeing/being able to interact with the person is not my ideal type of relationship.
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Jul 29 2007, 08:23 PM
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#11
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,011 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 533,410 |
eeek, internet relationships usually suck
but umm..i suggest you drop that. since it probably won't end up working out, because in reality, your not really who you are in life online. |
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Jul 29 2007, 08:51 PM
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#12
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 for SHIZZ. Group: Member Posts: 878 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 435,846 |
QUOTE(1angel3 @ Jul 29 2007, 06:33 PM) I say go with a dude you know face to face because Brandon could be some fat old man that live's in a trailer. You don't know, you could of seen his picture but there's identity theft, you know. Yepp, I watche the E's True Hollywood Story on Internet dangers. And sorry, but this doesn't turn out too well. 
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Jul 29 2007, 09:04 PM
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#13
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 Mais je ne l'aime pas Group: Member Posts: 971 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 108,135 |
Online relationships aren't always a good idea.
You're still young, why tie yourself down with somebody you've never met before? There has to be other guys to date whom you can physically be around. I personally say you end it. If you two are supposed to be together, then something will happen that will bring the two of you together. |
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Jul 29 2007, 09:51 PM
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#14
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 218 Joined: Oct 2006 Member No: 473,112 |
i find this pretty pathetic, but im sure youve heard that plenty from your peers that know about this...
However, ill offer my $0.02, only so much of a relationship can be built by talking and thats what i like to call the filling of the relationship pie. The pie crust, however, is the physical attraction/sexual tension between the two of you...something that cant be fully developed until you have seen/felt said individual because once you've done that, your body yearns to be back with that person once that part of the relationship is developed. It is this physical necessity that holds the relationship together, and is obviously the reason you cheat on him. So until your pie has been cooked with the flames of passion, your relationship will be going nowhere |
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Jul 29 2007, 10:07 PM
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#15
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 16 Joined: Jul 2007 Member No: 550,141 |
My Story:
I met my boyfriend in chat room in 2004 and after talking for a good few months we wanted decided to do the internet relationship thing. Trouble was I was in Ohio and he was in Tennesse...a good 10 hours away. We're only juniors in high school....our parents wouldn't let us just go on a car ride to meet up. His parents actually brougt him up to Ohio and we went to my prom together. Later that summer, I went to Tennessee for a weekend to hang out with him. It also just go happened we both interested in graphic design and we decided "Hell we can go to the same college" and we did, later on in 2006, I went to his prom and we started college together last fall. We've been going strong for 3 years now.  Now, we both lucky that our parents would do something like this for us, because in all honesty I dunno if we could of made if we didn't get to meet. But that first time I met him, I knew if we could keep going, we'd end up together somehow. My advice is to just hang in there...I know it's rough and even rougher if your one of those who needs the hugs and kisses everyday. It sounds to me as though you really love him though, and I believe you can find something that can work for yall. It's takes so much patience and if your both willingly to work at it,I think you could pull through. 
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Jul 29 2007, 10:38 PM
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#16
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 daughter of sin Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
This has disaster written all over it. Two words: break up.
I had a similar situation - in the end, you just get tired of waiting. If you haven't met in TWO years, chances are this isn't going to work. If I were you, I'd run away, fast, now. |
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Jul 30 2007, 12:28 PM
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#17
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Naomi loves you. Y'all may call me NaNa Group: Official Designer Posts: 2,925 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 427,774 |
QUOTE(runa-hisoka @ Jul 29 2007, 02:42 PM) wow, thanks for the obvious one line answers. atleast lostgrl16 put some time into her answer. and seriously...you all that are like INTERNET LOVE = BAD! stop, ive heard it all. I know teh risks. the question was after two years should i continue to wait, now should i just dump him cause he might some old fat guy which by the way he is rather heavyset. these are some of the pictures hes shown me and ive seen him on cam. http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s178/un...andon_neice.jpg before you ask, thats his NEICE, not his daughter.... http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s178/un...hPicture164.jpg http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s178/un...om/IM000953.jpg You know what. Atleast we try to give our opinion on it. We all put time in our answer. You may on heard it before but it's the truth. How you know he what he say he is? Or that's really him. That's what I'm saying. It doesent matter if he's heaveyset. Just be careful ok.
Reason for edit: Img tags, Naomi! - Moderator.
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Jul 30 2007, 12:47 PM
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#18
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 Hi, Im Brook. Group: Member Posts: 1,774 Joined: Mar 2007 Member No: 508,383 |
I have a condo in Arizona..
Anyways, I think you should break up with him. Ovessly its not working out with the two of you living in different places. You seem like you want someone you actually know and who can give you what you need (hugging, kissing etc.). If you two were ment to be together you two would have already met face to face, or your/hes working and trying to pay for a ticket to see him/you. |
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Jul 30 2007, 01:03 PM
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#19
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 ‹(. .)› Group: Official Member Posts: 2,367 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 20,089 |
i've known a few internet relationships that work. even folks who are now happily married. but it doesn't seem like yours would. and it's not because it's an internet relationship. it's the fact that you've already "cheated" on him. you don't seem to be the type of person who has the patience for this kind of thing.
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Jul 31 2007, 09:25 AM
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#20
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Member Group: Member Posts: 17 Joined: Jul 2007 Member No: 553,900 |
I personally think you should let it be and get on with your life.
Yes, it has been a long time and yes, relationships that are over the internet CAN work out.. just like my dad and his step-wife who are married and have been for 5 years and have a child. But I don't personally believe that you love him because love is a physical and mental state. So far you've only got mental. Oh and have you spoken to him like video chat or something.. know he's genuine? And also.. if you need someone to kiss and cuddle it's not going to work. You need to find someone in your area that you can spend time with.. you can't like many people at once.. it's only going to hurt you in the end. |
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| *Sandraaa* |
Jul 31 2007, 11:46 AM
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#21
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TWO YEARS? No wonder you 'cheated' on him! Seriously, it's great that you love eachother and fluffy fluffy but dude, either you meet or you don't. Can you continue like this for another extra two years? I hope not!
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| *Programmer* |
Jul 31 2007, 12:04 PM
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#22
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wow...just let go.
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Aug 1 2007, 12:11 AM
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#23
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 Training at the National Culinary Institute :D Group: Member Posts: 48 Joined: Apr 2007 Member No: 518,628 |
Try and meet him in the middle. Clearly, he's devoted and caring, and those are very important qualities in a good man. I'm sure when you meet him he's be as affectionate as you like, but just try to stay with him as much as you can. I know there will be distractions, but you gotta look the other way and just keep walking towards him. Give him one chance, really. Meet him somehow and decide together what you two are going to do. It's not really a fair decision to make by yourself. In the end, it all comes down to you two.
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Aug 1 2007, 12:47 AM
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#24
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 84 Joined: Jul 2007 Member No: 553,667 |
Just think about what you really want. If it's impossible to see each other in person, is it really fair for either of you to be in the relationship? Personally, I wouldn't do the internet dating thing because I'm paranoid. But if I was in this type of situation I would just be friends with the dude and date someone in my area. I mean, what's the point of dating somebody if you can't have fun together?
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Aug 1 2007, 03:21 AM
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#25
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 ♥ Group: Member Posts: 287 Joined: Apr 2007 Member No: 518,690 |
I wont drag on...
Simply, I've had and am somewhat having a online relationship right now. But, no offence, with your kind of.. 'resigned' feelings, mood & atttude towards the situation.. and the cheating >< I personally cant see it working out... otherwise, I think it would. I think its just the way you 'want' to with other guys... dont want to pass up the opportiunity etc. Thats not a bad thing! By all means, go nuts, go ahead. But should you keep waiting and hanging out for him? Unless you know your gonna see him sometime soon (are willing to wait), and totally love him- I think not. :( |
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