Losing the will to live Options

[*superstitious*]

Wow, I can't believe you guys can't have a discussion without belittling or name calling. I must be the most naive person over 30 here (well, I'm in an age bracket minority here regardless, but I regress).

I've been referred to as someone with "social anxiety disorder" for a very long time, well over 15 years. I get panic attacks, the shakes, I get sick to my stomach, you name it. I refuse to take any type of medication though. I can tell the story of my son (who has autism) and how many wanted (and pretty much intimidated me for a short while into doing so) him on medication (I took him off quickly, to say the least). That's a whole other discussion though with the punchline being that I am emphatically against psychotropic medications.

My point is that I understand what you are going through.

Some really sound advice has been given in this thread. The ones of particular interest (in my opinion) are finding like-minded individuals and meditation. I would start out with the second. If you can somehow find a way to find a calm within yourself, you will be in a better position to find kindreds, find those who you may be able to feel comfortable enough sharing your time with. I believe that it is next to impossible to feel peace until one has found peace within one's self first. There is no definitive or one magical all purpose way to do so, that's the catch. Each individual is unique and each pain, each element of loneliness can be exclusive, leading up to a general and at times overwhelming feeling of discontent and disharmony.

Try to not judge others or yourself and accept things for what they are and people for who they are, including yourself. If there are certain scenes you do not care for, stay clear of them and find what it is you do care for.

Breaking the ice is, by far, not a talent of mine. The people I know and are still close with are those that do not require much effort to talk to. Most of them are similar to me, in that they enjoy comic books, online gaming, writing, music and art (I can't draw or paint but I have a strong appreciation for both). Because of that, there is no obligatory ice breaking, we just are who we are and talk and laugh naturally.

[illriginal]

Wow, I can't believe you guys can't have a discussion without belittling or name calling. I must be the most naive person over 30 here (well, I'm in an age bracket minority here regardless, but I regress).

Sorry for the maturity level, flair a couple others kinda enjoy testing my tolerance and for some odd reason they have a problem with people who have minds they put to use for a purpose.

And I fully agree with your post. Now to read what our OP's thought is on all of this. Hopefully we didn't scare him off.

[*Flair*]

I honestly apologize Tamacracker. My point was - how can you know what's best for someone you don't know? The fact that you dismissed professional help ticked me off. Why not expand his options and let him choose?

Anyway, once again, I'm really sorry.

*sigh*

I don't feel well.

Oh, Rebecca, did you get my PM? Are you ignoring it?

[*superstitious*]

I honestly apologize Tamacracker. My point was - how can you know what's best for someone you don't know? The fact that you dismissed professional help ticked me off. Why not expand his options and let him choose?

Anyway, once again, I'm really sorry.

*sigh*

I don't feel well.

Oh, Rebecca, did you get my PM? Are you ignoring it?

Ack crap, I'm sorry. :( I'll PM you (I thought I had =X)

And no worries. Sometimes people get passionate about subjects like these.

[lorrytruck;]

I understand what you are going through. I think to say that someone, anyone, hasn't been through something of this sort would be impossible, as it seems to be quite big part of "living life". Be true to yourself. Oh cmon, I find it hard to believe that no one likes you and you don't have any friends at all! Expose yourself, join activities that enable you to meet new people even without much effort. If not, pm me. I can be your friend ..and shrink.


The thing is to learn how to stand up again, even if it may be hard. You can't let what someone said ruin your life forever, I've learned it the hard way. Maybe you just haven't met the right person to make you feel comfortable yet, maybe it's every else, not you

[gr00vyswordsman]

Meditation is actually a good choice. I sympathize with you on social anxiety. It was my major problem for a year or so, and still is a little. Meditation is actually what helped me, so TamaCracker is giving u good alternative to taking prescribed pills.

Meditation will balance the imbalaned energy inside of you. For me, more of my days are brighter now. Give it a shot I commend you on that!

[*shotgunFUNERAL*]

fact is, people are really judgmental; if they don't like who you are, you're not going to get along with them. now days, people think that if they talk to someone one time, they'll be there for them through everything, but really, if you don't take the time to know someone, they never are there; they never hang out, don't care if you call, etc. be open and be yourself, it'll help attract people to you. act as if you aren't nervous in front of anyone and people will take notice. small talk can actually lead a long way, too.

[illriginal]

I honestly apologize Tamacracker. My point was - how can you know what's best for someone you don't know? The fact that you dismissed professional help ticked me off. Why not expand his options and let him choose?

Anyway, once again, I'm really sorry.

That's fine Flair, the thing is, I went through depression in both highschool and beginning of college. It wasn't about family problems or social problems nor feeling lonely or anything alike. It was school... I take education seriously, so when I would see a B get close to a C+, I get all whacked out and can't concentrate cuz I'm always thinking of my future.

Anyways in highschool, I had a friend who was Hindu and she knew I wasn't doing so well. I started to keep to myself more and stay away from the social gatherings. After explaining to her my problem, she simply said, "oh that's easy, try meditation." Then she joked saying, "why do you think Asians never crack in school? We meditate and relax ourselves then come back to reality."

Anyways, ever since my junior year of school, I've meditated and I've never been stressed out, nervous, fearful, depressed etc... things are great.

So meditation worked for me and I'm only passing along the advice. I don't think prescription drugs should be taken for mental health. That's just a cover up a form of numbing up the psychological issues, once you're off of them, you 're back to square one again.

[kimmytree]

You know that's something I've been told, that I have social anxiety. But I'm just quiet and observant, most of the time I only speak when spoken to. And sometimes I just don't waste a breath on people. I realize they gotta meet eye to eye for me to even bother socializing with them.

Then maybe you're just introverted then? I'm that way too, but I actually fear social situations... and sometimes I end up having panic attacks. I get stressed out from just going to Walmart. And you know how you always have to cut down an aisle to get to the back row in a grocery store? I always have to search for an empty aisle to go down... even if that means having to go to the farthest one away. And when I'm at school, I have a hard time raising my hand to ask a question... even just asking for an answer to be repeated. Even just planning on raising my hand makes my heart race. And then when I'm called upon, I end up talking twice as fast as I should, and I sometimes end up stuttering. And then alot of times afterwards... for anywhere from just a minute or two to ten minutes I'll tremble. Like my legs will literally shake. And then my heart will continue to race... so bad that I cant focus on what I'm doing. So I guess that's a panic attack. But in order to have social anxiety you have to fear situations, and most people have panic attacks from them. Some people's problems range from not being able to speak in front of alot of people, to not being able to eat in front of people and use public restrooms.

I'm not saying you're concited or anything, but you seem to be picky on who you find worthy of being friends or socializing with. In the back of my mind I'm the exact same way. You seem really intelligent... people with very high IQ's have a hard time lowering themselves to someone elses level. So maybe that's it. Haha this is totally random, but do you have a high IQ?

[illriginal]

I'm not saying you're concited or anything, but you seem to be picky on who you find worthy of being friends or socializing with. In the back of my mind I'm the exact same way. You seem really intelligent... people with very high IQ's have a hard time lowering themselves to someone elses level. So maybe that's it. Haha this is totally random, but do you have a high IQ?

152 back in highschool. But IQ tests aren't all that good to depend on, in my opinion at least.

Oh and I'm very picky with people... I have very high and weird standards about everything.

[tr1pp1n]

no wonder you have no friends, beggars can't be choosers.

[IfICouldEscape]

no wonder you have no friends, beggars can't be choosers.

So you don't choose your friends. Meaning anyone is a friend to you, meaning you have no morals as to what a friend is to you? That's the thing you see you can either get along with anyone, where you jump on the bandwagon and become a follower for the rest of your life or you can find your own way in life and distinguish between between people you like and people you don't. I take it you're a follower.

[Kontroll]

Basically got no friends, no girlfriend, the one I want I can't have, I can't get over, someone spread a rumour about me, not true, feel like shit, I bottle it in my room every day, noone I feel like I want to turn to despite my parents being fine and that, don't socialise, depressed.

How do people make friends lol? All the people at my school I just don't like, or they don't like me, I have developed social anxiety, basically I fear talking to people now, never know what to say, feel as if I'm being judged, I can't break the ice, it takes me agessssssssss to get to know someone properly to the point where when I walk by them I can stop and talk and not just walk by either ignoring them or just nodding my head. I haven't been able to get to that point apart from 1 person who I hold to my heart as a real close friend. I never know how to take a friendship further after the first meeting or two, with me it just seems like they become nodding pals after a while and I'm just thinking what am I doing wrong excluding the rumour but in different environments. I start to think I'm just such a boring person when they meet me. I find that there's nothing for me to see someone for after the first meeting point or 2/3 etc. I feel like a stranger to them and don't seem to build and connections. Sometimes I just talk to them for the sake of not looking like a loner but really I'm just bored of them and vice versa most likely. I'm starting to feel anxiety when I talk to people I hardly ever do or when meeting people for the first time. That way I find it more comfortable to just avoid talking to people all together, I even avoid talking to anyone really, at least I feel calmer. I seriously don't know what to say to break the ice, it really affects me. Any suggestions, thanks in advance.

Yo, you're just making it worse for yourself. You got no friends cause you don't like any one. Its not their fault. Secondly, I don't have a girlfriend. I haven't had one since last year. Boo f**king who. Stop bitchin'. It's not the end of the world. Yo, why don't you try being a celebrity. They get rumors spread around about them all the time. Deal with it. It's life. It's tough. You want to know why you feel like shit? Because you're selfish and only think about your problems. Seriously, go help some people out. Get your mind of yourself. It helps. And you have a very bad attitude. Be optimistic for once. Life's not all that bad, when you see things in a good light. Damn.

Yo, after reading what you wrote, I felt like some one was talking about me. Seriously. I'm exactly the same way. To the tee. Dude, you just gotta face your fears. Also, I do this alot too and I'm sure you do as well. Stop over analyzing things. Haha. But seriously. Whatever your head tells you to do, don't do it. Or don't listen. It's never as worse as it really is. So, do something about it.

If you want to talk about it later, just holla back at me. Peace.

[IfICouldEscape]

Mate what you are saying is true partially, but this is a small piece of the jigsaw, if you knew what was on the radar in the bigger picture you would understand. Can I also ask because I am depressed, is that a possible factor for me not liking people do you think? Just wondering. I would disagree with you calling me selfish, I am not that.

[Pumpx3itup]

Joining a sports team is a very good idea.
It's a pretty easy way to make friends. And things do get better I've been through a lot not the same as you but the rumors are there and stay away from the people who start them because they are just two faced b*tchs but if you ever want someone to talk to about anything just let me know because I found talking to someone you don't know at all is really helpful because they don't know anything thats happening at the school unless you tell them.♥

[Pumpx3itup]

152 back in highschool. But IQ tests aren't all that good to depend on, in my opinion at least.

Oh and I'm very picky with people... I have very high and weird standards about everything.

My IQ test scred me up
everyone started putting
more pressure on me because
My grades werent with my IQ
and it caused me to get stressed,
Depressed and cut.

[tr1pp1n]

So you don't choose your friends. Meaning anyone is a friend to you, meaning you have no morals as to what a friend is to you? That's the thing you see you can either get along with anyone, where you jump on the bandwagon and become a follower for the rest of your life or you can find your own way in life and distinguish between between people you like and people you don't. I take it you're a follower.

You're a f**kin pathetic loser who is crying about some petty problem here. If you seriously want friends so badly get off the computer and join some clubs. Right now you're pretending like you actually are someone who is normal but i highly doubt that. HAHA THATS WHY YOU DONT HAVE FRIENDS LOSER

"I like normal people _smile.gif I like people that are sporty, if into football the better, good fun and is up for anything really, and someone who takes pride in what they look like."

Its too bad they don't like you. Quit whining and go out and try to take some risks.

Hey seriously tho go see a shrink, you're f**kin pathetic

[illriginal]

no wonder you have no friends, beggars can't be choosers.

No wonder I have no friends? I hope you're either being sarcastic or speaking to someone else.

LOL You lil kids make me feel like a parent already.

You're a f**kin pathetic loser who is crying about some petty problem here. If you seriously want friends so badly get off the computer and join some clubs. Right now you're pretending like you actually are someone who is normal but i highly doubt that. HAHA THATS WHY YOU DONT HAVE FRIENDS LOSER

"I like normal people _smile.gif I like people that are sporty, if into football the better, good fun and is up for anything really, and someone who takes pride in what they look like."

Its too bad they don't like you. Quit whining and go out and try to take some risks.

Hey seriously tho go see a shrink, you're f**kin pathetic

I hope all your boyfriends cheat on you with your female friends. And hopefully sometime when you're in highschool, someone preferably your best friend exploits you for the bitch you really are in front of the whole cafeteria. Your parents should be ashamed of you, pathetic lil child.

Also I would like a moderator to take a look at this user's profile, under location this user has a hatred for Blacks and homosexuals. Have this user change it please. Or just simply ban this user, preferably IP ban.

By the way, reported.

[tr1pp1n]

um tama i'm not talking to you man LOL

[MeanBastard]

OP, this is for you. Major inspiration

[*Mercy*]

Please cut the name calling out.
This is a serious disscussion.

[*SinfullySweet*]

Yeah. Its already been said, but most likely, the best way to meet new people is being spontaneous, and doing things you wouldn't naturally do. And yes, its hard to make friends in high school, and even middle school. Its easier to make new friends when you're still a child. When you're a child, you can just go to the play ground, and randomly play around with anyone. But when you get older, you get used to your own group of friends, and if you would try approaching a group of people, they would think you were odd. I really think one of the best ways to break the ice is just be yourself. Why would you want friends that treat you nice for someone you're not? change your outlook on life. Things will get better.

[kimmytree]

OP, this is for you. Major inspiration

That's totally unnecessary.

[IfICouldEscape]

Several people have said to change my outlook on life. In what way? Give me a bit of leeway because I can't think of how at the minute, I'm just wrapped in confusion.

[queen]

^ what do you love to do? find that, and you'll find people to do whatever it is with.