Losing the will to live Options

[IfICouldEscape]

Basically got no friends, no girlfriend, the one I want I can't have, I can't get over, someone spread a rumour about me, not true, feel like shit, I bottle it in my room every day, noone I feel like I want to turn to despite my parents being fine and that, don't socialise, depressed.

How do people make friends lol? All the people at my school I just don't like, or they don't like me, I have developed social anxiety, basically I fear talking to people now, never know what to say, feel as if I'm being judged, I can't break the ice, it takes me agessssssssss to get to know someone properly to the point where when I walk by them I can stop and talk and not just walk by either ignoring them or just nodding my head. I haven't been able to get to that point apart from 1 person who I hold to my heart as a real close friend. I never know how to take a friendship further after the first meeting or two, with me it just seems like they become nodding pals after a while and I'm just thinking what am I doing wrong excluding the rumour but in different environments. I start to think I'm just such a boring person when they meet me. I find that there's nothing for me to see someone for after the first meeting point or 2/3 etc. I feel like a stranger to them and don't seem to build and connections. Sometimes I just talk to them for the sake of not looking like a loner but really I'm just bored of them and vice versa most likely. I'm starting to feel anxiety when I talk to people I hardly ever do or when meeting people for the first time. That way I find it more comfortable to just avoid talking to people all together, I even avoid talking to anyone really, at least I feel calmer. I seriously don't know what to say to break the ice, it really affects me. Any suggestions, thanks in advance.

[*MyMichelle*]

It is really hard to just go up to someone and start talking, so maybe it'd be easier if you joined some sport or group thing where you're forced to interact with people? That way, they'll also have common interests with you. If you always feel like a stranger - that, sadly, is your own fault. You have to open up to people to actually have a connection.

Btw, it's not worth it to think that you want to die. Trust me. Things can get better.

[MrStrife]

Honest, I think you should be your own best friend first. But trust me man, I used to go through the same thing. Things get better with time and once you get to the point where you're comfortable enough with yourself to be open with other people, you'll see people will like you for who you really are. If they don't, they can go f**k themselves.

[EmoEyelinerx]

^ I agree with both of them. Like MyMichelle said join a group where your forced to interact with other people, when you talk to someone just try to be yourself, talk about music, tv shows etc.

[*steve330*]

Or get a job where you have to interact with others, employees and customers alike.

Help us help you out though, what kind of things do you do, like to do? What are you good at? What kind of people do you like?

[IfICouldEscape]

Well althought I hate referring to these labels as it's well known I'll use them. I dislike the whole emo/chav/goth type thing. I like normal people I like people that are sporty, if into football the better, good fun and is up for anything really, and someone who takes pride in what they look like. I don't think of it this way when meeting people but now you've asked me most likely people like that I would like. Just a normal active type young lad really who ain't a showoff, player druggy etc. I like my music too, but dislike meeting people when it takes over their whole life aka emo's.

[*steve330*]

And how old are you?

[IfICouldEscape]

17 (Feel like 85).

[*steve330*]

Intramural football. Football team. Join a school club or something. Change your outlook on life, I know it may be hard to do but if you should do that things look way better. Join a gym. Join clubs with similar interests you share.

[illriginal]

Intramural football. Football team. Join a school club or something. Change your outlook on life, I know it may be hard to do but if you should do that things look way better. Join a gym. Join clubs with similar interests you share.

^ Pretty much the best advice.

Get into the gym, you'll make friends in there. Most of the time athletic in some sort of sport. And most likely they won't be a druggy :P

Plus you're depressed? Kid (no offense) but uh.. there's children even younger than you, who get molested, have no parents, have diseases, have no home, are missing limbs, eat bugs instead of a juicy hot dog or burger or steak, that don't own clothes, hell that don't even have a roof over their heads etc...

You've gotta keep that in mind. You don't have much to be depressed about. Education should come before relationships, it keeps your mind healthy and keeps your priorities straight.

And about women? Guy, there's millions of women around the world. A thousand of them just in a square mile radius. Finding a women isn't hard. You're only 17 years old, I'm sure by the time you're 20 (assuming you won't destroy your image with the emo or even grunge look) you'll have your 5 girlfriend +/-.

Your wanting of a friend, well that's different, and understandable, because people like to have fun and socialize, which is great. In highschool, I had many many many friends, most of which just used people, and were back stabbers/two faced. After highschool, I sort of lost interest in friends and got more into reading, spirituality, self improvement.

Technically speaking I only speak to two of my friends which are cousins and I have a best friend who's in Japan working for the NAVY. I would tell you the amount of friends I used to have, but I'm not here to be braggadocious or anything.

School, sports, group activities have always been the best source to find friends. And it's not about goin up to some one and sayin, hey? will you be my friend? It's not like that.

It's relations. If someone has the same interests in music, shows, sports, women, cars, anything... anything at all. All it takes is an agreement of any sort and start things off. Then you can go from there askin them some other question within that same relation and see what else they might come up with that you would agree with and switch topics from there and so on. Get to know them, get to know their other interests. This shows interests of friendship. It's not hard to make friends trust me.

[*MyMichelle*]

Well althought I hate referring to these labels as it's well known I'll use them. I dislike the whole emo/chav/goth type thing. I like normal people I like people that are sporty, if into football the better, good fun and is up for anything really, and someone who takes pride in what they look like. I don't think of it this way when meeting people but now you've asked me most likely people like that I would like. Just a normal active type young lad really who ain't a showoff, player druggy etc. I like my music too, but dislike meeting people when it takes over their whole life aka emo's.

Haha, it's quite ironic that you would dislike them considering your thread is, well, um, pretty "emo." (I hate using that term in that way). If you have no friends, I wouldn't be judgemental about who I try to be friends with. "Beggars can't be choosers." haha. Seriously, though, you should get to know people before you label them. Some of them can actually be pretty cool.

[IfICouldEscape]

^ Pretty much the best advice.

Get into the gym, you'll make friends in there. Most of the time athletic in some sort of sport. And most likely they won't be a druggy :P

Plus you're depressed? Kid (no offense) but uh.. there's children even younger than you, who get molested, have no parents, have diseases, have no home, are missing limbs, eat bugs instead of a juicy hot dog or burger or steak, that don't own clothes, hell that don't even have a roof over their heads etc...

You've gotta keep that in mind. You don't have much to be depressed about. Education should come before relationships, it keeps your mind healthy and keeps your priorities straight.

And about women? Guy, there's millions of women around the world. A thousand of them just in a square mile radius. Finding a women isn't hard. You're only 17 years old, I'm sure by the time you're 20 (assuming you won't destroy your image with the emo or even grunge look) you'll have your 5 girlfriend +/-.

Your wanting of a friend, well that's different, and understandable, because people like to have fun and socialize, which is great. In highschool, I had many many many friends, most of which just used people, and were back stabbers/two faced. After highschool, I sort of lost interest in friends and got more into reading, spirituality, self improvement.

Technically speaking I only speak to two of my friends which are cousins and I have a best friend who's in Japan working for the NAVY. I would tell you the amount of friends I used to have, but I'm not here to be braggadocious or anything.

School, sports, group activities have always been the best source to find friends. And it's not about goin up to some one and sayin, hey? will you be my friend? It's not like that.

It's relations. If someone has the same interests in music, shows, sports, women, cars, anything... anything at all. All it takes is an agreement of any sort and start things off. Then you can go from there askin them some other question within that same relation and see what else they might come up with that you would agree with and switch topics from there and so on. Get to know them, get to know their other interests. This shows interests of friendship. It's not hard to make friends trust me.

Who said these are my only life problems? I have other very serious ones to contend with as well but can't discuss. What I've posted isn't a main cause for depression, it just topped up something else and kind of becomes one.

[IfICouldEscape]

Haha, it's quite ironic that you would dislike them considering your thread is, well, um, pretty "emo." (I hate using that term in that way). If you have no friends, I wouldn't be judgemental about who I try to be friends with. "Beggars can't be choosers." haha. Seriously, though, you should get to know people before you label them. Some of them can actually be pretty cool.

What? I was just stating my relationship problems, from what I wrote everyone who has a relationship problem is an emo then, that's what your saying right? I'm not usually judgemental but I don't fancy hanging around these ugly creatures ... I could be here all day with why I hate them, I've spoken to loads of them before and they're all the same.

[illriginal]

Who said these are my only life problems? I have other very serious ones to contend with as well but can't discuss. What I've posted isn't a main cause for depression, it just topped up something else and kind of becomes one.

I never said those were the ONLY life problems. I'm only answering to the specific ones you mentioned. I'm tryin to help you out a bit, I hate emos and would help anyone that's heading into that direction. Not that I'm sayin you are... but you do kinda seem emo.

As for your personal problems, you need to figure them out and tackle them. Don't depend on others to help you with your personal psychological problems such as depression.

Sorry I couldn't help you out, good luck with your mild problem.

[*Flair*]

I'm no shrink but I think you should get to know yourself. Also, you don't have to be this super friendly person, you can take things slowly too. Like people said, join clubs and whatnot.

I hope I helped you a tiny bit. Goodluck ...

And, you shouldn't live for others only, add yourself to the list. You'll be fine.

[*MyMichelle*]

What? I was just stating my relationship problems, from what I wrote everyone who has a relationship problem is an emo then, that's what your saying right? I'm not usually judgemental but I don't fancy hanging around these ugly creatures ... I could be here all day with why I hate them, I've spoken to loads of them before and they're all the same.

Not many title their topics "Losing the Will To Live"

[MrStrife]

Who said these are my only life problems? I have other very serious ones to contend with as well but can't discuss. What I've posted isn't a main cause for depression, it just topped up something else and kind of becomes one.

Chill out guy. We're only trying to help you out here. I mean just look at the title of your thread. Nobody is trying to judge you and if they are, they have no right. They haven't been in your shoes so they wouldn't know, but you shouldn't attack people who's willing to listen to your problems.

[xKatt]

Send me a message, ok?

I'd really like to talk to you one on one.

PS. I've had major depression for over 5 years. I know what it's like.

[kimmytree]

I think you're right about the social anxiety thing. I've been through the same thing, and that's what I have. Have you seen a psycologist/psychiatrist for your problem? Social anxiety is a mental disorder... something that never goes away. You can learn how to better cope with it, but its something that'll always be there.

I wish I could give you better advice... but I've tried to change too... and I've had no luck. That's why I have an appointment later this month.

But please dont think that you're life isnt worth living, especially over something like this! Good luck!

[illriginal]

I think you're right about the social anxiety thing. I've been through the same thing, and that's what I have. Have you seen a psycologist/psychiatrist for your problem? Social anxiety is a mental disorder... something that never goes away. You can learn how to better cope with it, but its something that'll always be there.

I wish I could give you better advice... but I've tried to change too... and I've had no luck. That's why I have an appointment later this month.

But please dont think that you're life isnt worth living, especially over something like this! Good luck!

You know that's something I've been told, that I have social anxiety. But I'm just quiet and observant, most of the time I only speak when spoken to. And sometimes I just don't waste a breath on people. I realize they gotta meet eye to eye for me to even bother socializing with them.

[fathomlessdame]

I used to struggle with depression...still do to a certain extent.

Its not worth it to die. its not! believe me, i wanted to..i wanted to really bad. and then i thought about all of my family, and what they would say about it. and i thought about ppl at school...how they would think of it if i killed myself. its a pretty selfish thing to do, ya know? its a unfixable option for a fixable situation...srry, bad wording..but you get what i mean right? once you do it, its done. you can't change your mind afterwards and say 'oh shit! i dont think i wanted to do that'

and yeah, YOU can change your situation. maybe see a shrink? i kno theyre a pain, but meds can help to a certain extent--they help you see things clearer. but most ppl dont like the idea of seeing a shrink...so anyways. also, put yourself out there! dont be shy! join clubs at school. join a sport! and dont be shy, if you keep to yourself, ppl aren't gonna try to talk with you--they'll probably think your just antisocial and not worth their time (which i doubt is true) i'm not saying you should all of a sudden be really bubbly and out there, but you gotta try. go up to someone and say 'hi, hows it going?" or talk about whatever theyre doing. maybey you might share interests and might click, you never kno until you try.

[illriginal]

and yeah, YOU can change your situation. maybe see a shrink? i kno theyre a pain, but meds can help to a certain extent--they help you see things clearer.

Or Chakra meditation. You don't need to pay for another human to feed you pills and try to explain to you what other people think on a normal basis. It's something that a person should have the drive/ambition to figure out.

I'd highly recommend meditation for any psychological problems.


But then again, if you have the money and you think another human knows your problems as well as you do lol, then get a psychologist/psychiatrist.

[fathomlessdame]

Or Chakra meditation. You don't need to pay for another human to feed you pills and try to explain to you what other people think on a normal basis. It's something that a person should have the drive/ambition to figure out.

I'd highly recommend meditation for any psychological problems.
But then again, if you have the money and you think another human knows your problems as well as you do lol, then get a psychologist/psychiatrist.

Whatever works

[*Flair*]

Or Chakra meditation. You don't need to pay for another human to feed you pills and try to explain to you what other people think on a normal basis. It's something that a person should have the drive/ambition to figure out.

I'd highly recommend meditation for any psychological problems.
But then again, if you have the money and you think another human knows your problems as well as you do lol, then get a psychologist/psychiatrist.

There you go again. There are those who need help from professionals.
You 'highly recommend' ... really? Wow, you are an expert in everything, aren't you.

[illriginal]

There you go again. There are those who need help from professionals.
You 'highly recommend' ... really? Wow, you are an expert in everything, aren't you.

Sorry, but uhm, psychological problems have always existed. And prescription drugs haven't. All I'm doing is giving the kid an alternative to pills. Which would be naturally done through meditation.

Here ya go schmuck!

http://www.hindu.com/thehindu/mp/2002/12/3...23001320200.htm

http://www.pranichealingmea.com/faq_meditation.htm

http://www.lifepositive.com/Body/energy-he...iding-light.asp

http://www.wisdompubs.org/Pages/display.la...on=&image=1

http://www.spiritap.com/myweb/cha.html

http://sahajayogapa.org/Benefits(pa).html


Why don't you go learn something other than ignorant attacks about my knowledge. Worry about your knowledge before judging others' wisdom, especially mine. I'm not a fraud when I spit knowledge.

And yes dammit, I highly recommend anything that's factual and helpful... what the heck can you recommend? To hate on me?, damn groupie.