Thoughts |
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Thoughts |
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#1
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Member ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 23 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 437,834 ![]() |
Thoughts
When I was little, I use to think to myself what I wanted to do when I grow up Now that time is slowly creeping up to me I cannot escape it I cannot deny it I remember the days back in my memories where I would stare at the trees The leaves still as my body leaning on the balcony The green colour and the gentle breeze in the air would ease my pain of searching for purpose I promised to myself I would make something of this life Find love Find passion Find a purpose in life where I can live in peace Protect the person that I love Protect everything with my own hands As a man, I'm willing to carry all the burden of this world onto my shoulders Carry all the burden of my loved ones To find that sense of dignity a true man should have The protector The provider The one who's there to give I want to go to a river bank and just lay there for a while Stare up into the night sky and wonder I try to keep optimistic To be honest this world is just too frightening A person is so powerless at the times where he/she needs to be strong My heart and soul drifts into my alter reality Searching for that tranquility and peace I need strength I want to be able to look into my hands and see power Not a pair of pale hands slowly withering away into age And die as the time passes Ahh~ the sound of the rain is filled in my head I don't even know what's reality anymore I just feeling like pouring my heart out for someone For the person I truely love How I wish I was more of a man for her Many times I really wanna apologise to her heart Apologise for being spineless when she needs a man to stand tall and steady I want to take her away from this reality for a moment And into mine So that we can drift together aimlessly not caring what our destination was But enjoying the journey together Where she would not be alone To be that kind person beside her where she seeks comfort I don't want to hurt her anymore I don't want her to hurt anymore I want to understand the mysteries of this world I want to be able to help people instead of reading their problems Powerless to act I know that what I write at this moment will only exist in this very frame of time Tomorrow will be a new day And I will forget this feeling of regret that's trapped under my skin I will live on and be the person that I'm known as to everyone that's around me Waiting for this inner self to resurface again Til that time comes my way once more I will sleep and rest my mind And let myself drift in infinity And find the peace I wanted Even if it's for one night I want to live~ |
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#2
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![]() Paper Cuts ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 47 Joined: May 2007 Member No: 529,400 ![]() |
I love it. Written wonderfully and even though I'm not as good with English as most, i can get feeling out of the writing. One sujestion, the part with "he/she" broke the trace of the writing. maybe come up with something else. just he or something. but not the he/she, it broke the rading to much
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#3
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Member ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 23 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 437,834 ![]() |
yea i'm an amateur writer lol
i only do this during that spur of the moment where you just have to pour something onto paper or in this case E-paper XD i got positive feedback from my girlfriend and i just thought i'd post it here to see what other people think of it :) any criticism is better than no criticism :) thanks for the tip, ill take it in mind :) |
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#4
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Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 42 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 538,136 ![]() |
WOW i fought some of the poems i liked 2write were thought provokin!!! cricky that has a massive impact and i loved it!! do u have any mor writings?
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#5
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Member ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 23 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 437,834 ![]() |
they will keep coming if people like to take the time and read it XD
I like to revolve around the idea of life and the things we come across i've seen and met alot of people from the time i was born and there's so many questions left unanswered only way to express that curiosity that's driving me nuts from time to time is by writing so yea, i got one posted soon :) |
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#6
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Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 42 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 538,136 ![]() |
i know what you mean!! please could u check out my poems???
its kinda like u get a rush of emotion and u cnt handl;e it!! its alot easyer 2 rite it dwn than do anything else! and also writing is a cause 2 get things out of your mind and helps the processe of breakin them down and helpin u understand things |
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#7
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Member ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 23 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 437,834 ![]() |
yep sure i can check them out :)
Its an honor~ It calms the spirit and eases that emptiness inside Helps you sleep well too :) |
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#8
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Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 42 Joined: Jun 2007 Member No: 538,136 ![]() |
its also a gd form of stress relief!!!!
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#9
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![]() Paper Cuts ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 47 Joined: May 2007 Member No: 529,400 ![]() |
u keep posting ill keep reading. i like ur style
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#10
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*Influential Guitarist & Inspiring Writer* ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Official Member Posts: 1,217 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 51,134 ![]() |
damn I came in here thinking it'd be one of those boring amateur writing. But damnnnn I was wrong good shit dude, I like how I can read it and also imagine myself in your position through your words. keep it up I'll expect to read more from you.
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#11
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Eternal Syn ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 398 Joined: Jun 2004 Member No: 24,000 ![]() |
I finally found the time to read this. Honestly, I don't know how much this means to you, but I just need to say that, I have found myself wanting to do a lot of the things you write in here, like going somewhere (maybe not a river bank but yeah) to look at the stars. Where I live, I can't necessarily go onto my roof. And some other things, but I don't feel like boring you. Honestly, thank you for posting this, I needed this at this time.
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#12
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Member ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 23 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 437,834 ![]() |
im glad you guys like my writing, but im leaning towards that fact i get really repetitive with all my writings, so yea hopefully it doesnt have that effect :S
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