Createblog Diary, Version 9.0 Options

[iGio]

Dear cb,

Im so tired,So hungry,i was thinking about Person all last night i didnt get no sleep till like 12:06.My mom woke me up screaming for no damn reason,i was pissed.She was like "Why arent you up and ready for school"I turn on my alarm but i turn it off because she always wakes me up and she complains if im up too early.She was drinking,and when she does she always wakes up screaming and it pisses me off.

Secondly my b-day was weeks ago,still havent gotten my computer and she ordered two weeks ago.Im getting sick of that sh-t.It should have been here last friday,i saw the ups guy too.Hes always on phone smoking and laughing not doing his job right and then when they knock on my door they bang like they are dying.I got so much hw to make up.And i keep procrastinating and i cant concentrate on hw its just so boring but i dont want my 80 gpa to drop.

Today in hb i played with wendy again,it was SO hot we took a break after 35 mins of class and sat outside and watched everyone play.Oh and the class star ass who think hes all that,he wouldnt stfu.He was like "Darennn,your garbage you cant play good" and blah.To be honest the little kid is better than him.Then he had the nerve to turn to me and say that daren is better than me but then he was like nah daren you aint even near as good as him[me].He needs to keep his mouth shut and not ever turn to me again,i will break every bone is his body.I hate him with a passion,i wanna see him die slowly and painfully.

I decided to go home for math,i'll just say i threw up in the bath room,i feel dizzy,and that im starving.Or i might just stay outside for 45 minutes in the hot air XO.Maybe,math is too boring and i want to go home,Actually do my hw and eat.I have to stop procrastinating.I think ill do my global hw today,and my poem.And make up art hw tomorrow with some math hw,and hand it in thursday =].

I cant wait till monday.No mother for a whole week :D.So much time left of class,im bored.I have nothing to do,im not doing that stupid project for web.NO way in hell am i attending some retarted event and miss class for it,stacy doesnt want to do it either.I see yolana and tracy doing it though.Ugh goodie goodies.IM tired.i want to go home and eat,even though i started my diet which im doing well on.I just cant handle not eating.I did 25 sit ups yesturday,i work out mon-fri because of hb warm ups.I feel where the flatness is of my body,i dont have much to lose.Only a little and thin again.Lemon water isnt that bad either.I had suushi yesturday iwas shocked it was ok.

Well ima go. . .

-Leon

[tokyo-rose]

Dear diary,

Maple is open again! <3 Love that place. It made me spaz with happiness when I saw it reopened yesterday. I went home, put my backpack down, and told Perry that we were going to the park. Surprisingly he agreed to go with me and I saw some of my old friends from last summer. God, I spent so much time there last summer and it felt so good to be back. <3 my FOB groups. (: Haha. There are a lot of new handballers and FOB groups I don't recognize, though. Also, the new swings suck. They're too low. :(
Okay, I'm done. Maple and taro bubble milk tea own. :D

[Jinny]

Dear cbd,

What is wrong with me these days? I don't feel like doing ANYTHING. I get frustrated so easily and I think a LOT of people are annoying. My friend is being a complete b!tch again. She keeps whining and wants to receive all of the attention. She is obsessed with taking pictures and fashion. She wants to be popular and always wants to hang downtown. I don't understand her. She only cares about shopping and she doesn't even shop that much. She has a really bad temper. She has to learn to watch her words. She doesn't care about anybody else. She's self centered. She gets on my nerves. She always says "I DONT CARE!" in your face. She acts annoyed at you. Sometimes, she ditches you and you just curse in your mind. But when you ditch her by ACCIDENT, she gets all b!tchy and whiny and mad. She can be so ignorant. She doesn't have the right to do that and that. She's bossy. I hate her. I hate everything right now. I hate how I judge people. I hate how mean I am. I hate how much I yell at some people. I hate how I hate her. I hate how I keep talking about her. I hate hate. I hate how I hate hate but still hate everybody. I HATE LIFE

[angelrevelation]

Dear Cb diary,

Everyone was so flirty today! J, K, and even A and B (although those two were nicer and not annoying) for some reason. J and K KEPT on stealing my stuff. I was going to smack them. Then K had the nerve to like... touch my face. It's different with J2, we're close friends. gah. AND everytime I saw C (i haven't seen him too often around school at all before today. i've never even spoken a word to him) he kept on giving me side glances. Like Erika said, maybe it's just the Spring season. disgusting thought.

But today was still really good, a lot better than it's been in forever. I made it into Honor's English And my english group presentation went super well. It was one of the only good presentations i've had lol.

[michellerrific]

dear cbd,
All went pretty well today! English testing was easy, and I had a hecka lots of fun in French eating and such. _ is finally getting back to where we used to be...hopefully this will stick. We finally walked together again like we always used to. Oh and that creepy guy with a red backpack just haunts me more and more every day.

[NgocQuyen]

dear cB,
when i first moved in with my brothers in the beginning of November, i felt a sigh of relief. like i was being released from all the pain of the past and i was ready to start a whole new life. i love all of my family don't get me wrong, but sometimes i feel like i can't really live here anymore. i think that if it was just my brothers and i living in this house then things wouldn't be so bad. but then there's always another person...hmm. this person's name will not be mentioned. i just feel like ehh. you know? like they have taken over this house and it's become something i can't stand anymore. the "rich people" way. i don't like it. not to say that the "rich people" way is bad or anything, but the thing is we're not rich and that's just reality. she might be rich, but this family however is not rich, and i don't appreciate how things have been changed in this house and what not. what used to be my santuary and my place to have fun has just turned into a pitiful house. nothing more. i can't stand living here anymore. i feel like i'm about to explode and pull every single strand of hair out. the only reason i would probably stay here would be because i can't afford my own place, but let me tell you something. i will rather work my ass off and not buy anything for myself or for entertainment than to stay here for college. i refuse. the last straw has been drawn and that is that. i can't even look at my brother without a bit of shame to call him my brother. i can't look at him and be proud because of the term "whipped". i never thought my brother to ever fill that term, but the time has come and i don't really like it. i love my brother and i just don't like what's he's become. it's sad really, but however, i won't intrude in what makes him happy. if that's what he wants then i shalln't say a word to interfere. if that simple phrase was simply not said then perhaps all of this could have been avoided. however, that event has occurred and there is not any way to change that. things happen and things happen when those things happen. that's that.

[Jinny]

Dear CBD,

I REALLYYY want to stop procrastinating. I have 7 reading journals to write and I STILL haven't started. They're due this Monday and it's Wednesday. Spring Break is almost over. The weather is gorgeous outside but I don't feel like going out. I don't know what I'm talking about right now. Justt.. dFLKASJDFLAKSDJFHLBKDJFL!

[iGio]

Dear cb,

To jinny:I want to stop procrastinating too xO.

Agh i am SO. . . i dont know.Im not stressed,im not confused about who i like,Infact i am in love.Im thinking of writing a letter and putting it in persons locker as annonymous.But i would feel bad having person wonder who their crush is.And i dont want person to think im like that VT guy who stalked those girls.And im getting back the huge zit on my nose again,i tried popping it to leave it as a cut because i heal fast but noo when i tried it wasnt that read and blood came out so i left it alone.GRRR and i have to go to school looking like rudolph.Its small im over exaggerating but it seems so big!.My mom leaves monday for the week :D and comes back next sunday or the monday after.I already know what my brother has in mind because he said "mommy is leaving on monday",i dont want to go through that effin struggle to not breath in that damn weed smell.If his friends wanna be pot heads,dont do it in my house.Its bad enough i had to act like it was nothing last time.You could smell it from down the block,i know i did.

Ugh and my sleeping problem is only getting worse.I cannot sleep unless im tired,and i only get sleepy around 6 am after being up all night.But i cant effin be up because my mom sends me to bed at 9:30.WTH even in high school my brother got to go to sleep when ever time he wanted to.Its always been like that.My mom treats me different from him,my aunt told her it too,via thats why they got into a fight 4 summers ago.My mom wouldnt let me get icecream because she thought i was fat,and my aunt was offering and my mom said no.Which really pissed me off,im healthy and I do not look fat,you can see a little bit of chicho's but thats all.I hate the way she tells her friend that i cried because she was kicking me out.NO wrong i was crying because i was gonna miss my friends and because i was so pissed off.Like i give two damns about moving out.I wasnt going to stay at my dads anyway.That day my brother said he would go live with his brother jessie and i would go live with my sister but i was going to live with evelyn.I dont know why i brought that up,my mind is pretty random.

Today went fast because of all the test and im glad,so i can go home.Im going to be up all night doign those essays.OMFG AND IF CHRIS DONT STFU I WILL RIP OUT THE DAMN FAT OFF HIM!.GOD hes like "ill c*m in your face ill put it up you a**" hes effin disgusting.NO one would tap that even if they poped some pills.today is yolanas b-day too i would say happy b-day but heh im too much of a b-tch and i just dont like her .I had another dream about my tina boo.I saw her today like i had hoped to but vuthy just had to be with her.So i couldnt talk with her since me and vuthy do not like eachother.I dont know im worried about her,in my dreams i see her so sad and like hes abusing her and last last time i saw her she was really down.

Anyway i also had a dream that my gpa was 85.So im hoping it went up because my dreams 95% are premilitions or what ever you wanna call them.Thats why i experience deja vu so much.Like along time ago i had a dream about somethign that happened last year.And i was like what 6 when i had that dream.Freaky.Im also becoming obsessed with wanting my cell phone back.Im still so pissed off at the fact that the dean took it,looked at how brand new it was with my sexy silver cover,and then when my mom came to pick it up it wasnt to be found in the effin cell phone droor or how ever you spell that.and no one can get in that room but the staff so someone stole my phone and also i called my number and my machine thingy was changed.It was a effin emergency i had to call my dad to tell him i wasnt going to be home because he would have came and i wouldnt have been home so we wouldnt have gotten our child support.But i bet if the staff had children and they got their sh-t taken away they be on a rampage and say we need cell phones for emergency when they clearly say in school that we dont.When we do.Just because individuals wanna be asses and let it ring up in class,not everyone will.They need to stop grouping us like that.

I cant stop thinking about person!.You know what,ima do that letter thingy.Yeah ill do it tonight and leave it in her locker tomorrow.-sigh-Im kinda hungry,but then again im not,and today WE ARE EATING SPAHGHETTIS <3 woo.Even though yesturday i loved how the meat ball marinara tasted from subways with a bacon cheese potatoe from wendys :DDDD.Gawsh,i feel like squeezing lemons in chris eyes and like stabbing vaseline right on top of the lemon juice.So his eyes could burn like hell.

-Leon

[*stephinika*]

Dear cB diary,

Today...I have nothing to do. Well, except dance class later but that doesn't really count.

I'm really excited for next week...John Mayer, sleepover, audition (which I'm sooo nervous for too) and then the cruise. It's going to be soooo fun. Definitely can't wait. And I got a lil' extra money thanks to him because he paid me twice the amount I thought I'd get, so that helped tons.

I want summer weather ... this rain is annoying.

[think!IMAGINARIL...]

Dear cB Diary,
School kinda sucks. Drama, I can usually take, but no, not this time.. Homework's been okay, especially since I don't go online for 10 hours a day anymore >.> But boys and drama suck. Especially when they stare at you and stuff one day, and avoid you the next. If only guys weren't this confusing..
It's unhealthy to be like this.. All stressed out and depressed.. I want my old life back. Lets rewind back to March, when I wasn't so obsessed with all this crap. *sigh*
I hate secrets. Especially when they're yours.. One minute, you feel like screaming it at the top of your lungs, and the next, you feel like hiding in a little corner to avoid everything. But keeping it to yourself would never work because everything that's bottled up inside eventually explodes.
Mental breakdowns suck. Makes you feel like you want to die and crap. It's just so ARGHHH. Feeling depressed sucks. Especially when it's over some stupid drama crap..
But I'll get over this someday. Hopefully.

[NgocQuyen]

dear cB,
big headache tonight. hurts a lot. :[ i totally bombed my SPC final today. ughs. lame. oh well. i pray to GOODNESS that my GPA is still high enough for me to take summer classes. i really want to bring up my GPA this time. one more chance...

[alysaphobia]

Dear CBD,

I really believe that A and I have grown even closer recently. Of course, he's not pushing me physically- which I appreciate so much, after everything that happened with J and him, and our humongous fight over it..

I love him. Either that, or I'm in a terribly clouded state of mind which forces upon me an incredibly realistic illusion of it. Every day I see him, my mood just goes up that much. He knows me inside out and isn't afraid to tell me when I'm being stupid over something. I can only hope that this will NEVER end...


Alysa.

[flutterby88]

best vacation ever!!! and only halfway through so far:):). yesterday was such a red-letter day. first the alligators and birds in the everglades, then that stupid motorist, then the yummiest drink ever, then the freaking shark, then the car almost being towed, and then all the shots of tequila:P. oh man i love M&A. and L told the best story. so today was so lovely to sleep in. got to talk to C on the phone last night:). M emailed me, made me miss him so much and want to come home to him. but then i had that really real dream of D and i was thinking about him. damnit, but it's ok, it was just a dream. stupid N won't email properly either:P. family can be a little crazy at times but C is cracking me up all the time. it's so hot today (again:P), gonna tan some more in a bit. can't wait till the dolphins on monday! but i gotta get of now.

[iGio]

Dear cb,

Im so EFFIN TIRED.I woke up around 4 am because my mom was putting a shirt in the window to let the annoying leak,leak on my shirt.Then i woke up,scared her she didnt know i was up,ate grapes,did art hw.Wrote the letter for person,but failed at putting it in persons locker.We almost talked today,we more like smiled at eachother,person looked so sleepy it was so cute.As for me i almost fell asleep last period,same as i am about to do in boring web.I sware next year im glad i wont have web,or art.So thats

-Handball
-Earth science or chemistry
-English 3
-Global 3
-and math.

My stomach is growling like hell.And my brother pissed me off.He doesnt tell me when he visits my school and sees our hb teacher,and she asked him if i really itch when im in the sun,he said that im bull shitting her.OK he doesnt know my body.When im in the sun for too long,because of the fcking exsigma makes me itch all over.Even in hot showers i itch.and she didnt believe me and i hate that.I hate when they think im lying,i'll go outside but i sware if i end up killing the two ass holes then they will regret it.Im one nasty b-tch i aint got no shame.Im cranky atm.everyone keeps askign what happened to my nose,HELLO CANT YOU SEE THE EFFIN CUT?!It was really a swell up with a little puls in it more blood though.

I cant keep my eyes open,i look like im on drugs.And i really wanted to leave the letter in persons locker.But at least i went to school just for person =].When i get home im gonna take a longgggg nap.Well thats if im still tired,if not then im going to wendys and subways w00t.And im getting me back my oreo m-shake.Saturday im going for a line,my hair didnt grow fast yet o.o weird.Gotta tell them to do the chin stache because the shaving is bugging me.it itches,I WANT LASER HAIR REMOVAL XO.A little extreme,but true.I got a 95 on my art test,the highest grade.And i only had a day to do it,everyone else had 2 days,and i didnt even know wtf i was writing xD.IM HUNGRY :'(.25 mins till math xO.I might not even go,im too tired.But i cant go home,and i dont even know if evelyn is home.I need my cell phone back.I miss my baby =[.Wellz im gonna go.

-Leon

[Jinny]

Dear cbd,

I'm acting like there's nothing to do. I'm just sitting here, talking to people on AIM. But actually, I have so much homework to do. I don't know.. I feel really lazy these days. I just don't want to do anything. I promised myself that after spring break, I would start over again and stop procrastinating. Well, I still have two days left of spring break and 5 reading journals to write. Break isn't over yet but I already procrastinated. Wtf?

[michellerrific]

Dear cBd,
I want a new tennis racquet. I've been persuing myself for the past couple months maybe, and only now have I thought about it again.

I have a biology test on Monday and of course I'm scared again.

[minioligo]

dear cb diary,
i wonder if i really am going to turn out like him. screwing up, pretending to not to care, trying to act mature, then just leave and make everybody hate you.

that's what i've done so far, yeah? except in a smaller sense.
i'm probably worse than he is.

[faithin_felix]

dear cB diary,
lol i wonder how many days i'm gona stay this time. 1? 2?
haha attention span of a goldfish = me

uhhhhhhhhhhhh
i finally found the song!

uhhhhh
good to see people posting? =/

FELIX

[alysaphobia]

Dear CBD,

I'm so caught up in homework, it's insane. Being sick this weekend was the cruelest act of fate, period.

On a brighter note... A came over today to help me study, even though I feel AND look like utter crap. You know, it really seems like he's putting in so much effort to try not to hurt me ever since the thing with J... and I feel a bit guilty over that. Why can't I just ... let go!? I get so angry whenever I see him just standing near her. I know he's not going to fool around again... he was intoxicated last time, it wasn't intentional... or so I hope. My greatest fear: That this will completely tear apart our very, very fragile relationship.


- Alysa.

[Jinny]

Dear cbd,

Wow, I have school tomorrow. Spring break is already over... At least I did 4 journal entries. Now I'm only behind by 3, but that's still a lot.. Wait, what if they're due tomorrow?! Shoot.. Well I'll just get in trouble I'm tired and really dizzy.. I constantly procrastinate.. I hate life so much right now.

[iGio]

Dear cb,

Im tired of everyones crap.Especially all these teenage girls that just want guys for their looks when they gonna do eff them over and cheat on them,but then they keep on in that cycle and not get with a guy who could be less attractive but committed and will actually be there for them.Example my neighbor stephanie,shes stupid.Only will date a muscular guy who is in shape,cute,and ghetto.But she wants to find whats wrong with them so she can break up with them,which is retarted.Just dont date if thats the case.

Saturday i got so dizzy.It was really bad,i want my cell phone back,i dont want to go to school,i wanna put the letter in the locker already,i wanna get this over with.I dont want to be bored,i want a new game.A fun one where i can beat people up like in GTA.I wanna hair cut already,im just gonna go for a line up.Because its not that bad yet.My mom leaves tomorrow.I dont know what time but i hope before math class because i dont feel like going.My computer still hasnt come which is pissing me off.My brother just pissed me off because he told me to go bed.Screw him,he doesnt own me.him and my mom are arguing which is gonna lead her to bitch at me.And im not in the mood.I dont wanan face my hb teacher tomorrow,i hate the way everyone compares me to my brother.Like im lesser,that im disgusting that i shouldnt have been born.So who gives a damn if im lazy,too effin bad.Im always practicing.I know my body and if i itch in the sun im not lying i itch in the damn sun.You dont believe me then thats on them.I hate when people look at me with that face that they saying that im a damn liar,like i have been lying worse then craigh about him not being a poor kid who always pisses people off and acts dumb and begs for food.

I dont want to go to web class tomorrow.Im sick of mr.li,him and his stupid class.Im sick of doing lessons on dream weaver from a text book that tells us what to do exactly.You cant grade that,its the text books work not ours.Tomorrow im not going to math,ima just sit in front of evelyns building till 1:15 because my mom flight is at 12:35.So she leaves early,before i go to bed ima find out so i can know if i have to go to web and math or not.Friday im cutting too.-sigh-Regents coming up for science,i know i will pass if i study.

Im lost,the letter i wrote didnt describe how i really felt.I really like person but i wanna let them know how everything in my heart feels.How their smile makes me smile.How she askes me if im ok if i get hit by the ball because i scream b-tch out of pain.I dont like my mothers boyfriend,neither do my aunts.But i sware if he cheats on her,ima come out my face at her.Because she dont listen,her type of men she like are all cheaters and i sense it.Ugh....... i wanna go shopping.I want pj pants.new sneakers,new xl shirts.new thin white zip-up hoodies like in six grade.Im waiting for my mom to go to bed.I dont care if i have school tomorrow.Honestly i dont.I wanna play a game against john or someone good.

-sigh-Life is just blah for me atm.

-Leon

[*stephinika*]

Dear cB diary,

So today was pretty fun. I'm so damn tired though. Saw Kait's competition then hung out with Larry then Yurina for a bit too. I'm glad me and him talked that out though....my parents suck, honestly.
And that stupid forward from my mom scared the shit out of me, although I don't think she knows about it, but its just because I've brought it up before but y'know what? I don't f**king care. It's my decision I'm going to do what I want with my body. Jeebus. So frustrating.
I wanna leaveeee.

[michellerrific]

dear cbd,
aw snap it's Sunday night already. oh well that means tomorrow is Heroes.
Today was a preeeety okay/good day. Uhm. Lakers lost. asdf. I have ALOT of biology left to study. Crap. I am wasting a lot of time. But hey I'd rather write down how I feel instead of learning 11 phyla of protozoa. You only live once, yeah?

[faithin_felix]

dear cb diary,
ACER laptops SUCK

[F]

[alysaphobia]

Dear CBD,

I'm still sick... while studying for all my exams. GAH.
;( It could be worse.... I guess?

- Alysa.