Ancient Chinese Torture |
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Ancient Chinese Torture |
Apr 12 2007, 06:41 PM
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#1
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![]() i like blue ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Banned Posts: 195 Joined: Apr 2007 Member No: 514,342 |
Ancient Chinese Torture
A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young,beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn't keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man's warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn't hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that's pretty crappy," he thought. "If that's the best the old man can do then I don't have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."
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Apr 12 2007, 06:46 PM
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#2
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Official Member Posts: 7,149 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 213,509 |
HAHAH HE WAS OWNEDDDD.
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| *mishyerr* |
Apr 12 2007, 06:49 PM
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#3
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Guest |
....owwwwww X_X
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| *My Cinderella.* |
Apr 12 2007, 11:12 PM
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#4
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Guest |
HAHAHA.
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| *StanleyThePanda* |
Apr 12 2007, 11:32 PM
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#5
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Guest |
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Apr 13 2007, 09:35 AM
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#6
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![]() What a sick, masochistic lion. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,853 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 460,535 |
HAHAHAHAHA. |
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Apr 13 2007, 11:07 AM
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#7
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 265 Joined: Sep 2004 Member No: 48,806 |
omfg rofl that even hurts me
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Apr 14 2007, 02:50 PM
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#8
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long time no CB. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Official Member Posts: 3,889 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 493,502 |
HAHAHA woww.. lol
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Apr 14 2007, 04:08 PM
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#9
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![]() cvchango ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Human Posts: 492 Joined: Dec 2005 Member No: 332,717 |
hahahahownedhahahahaha
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Apr 17 2007, 12:10 AM
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#10
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![]() XOTY*06 :D ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 2,635 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,747 |
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Apr 17 2007, 01:36 AM
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#11
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![]() Being happy...is all that matters ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 765 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 102,284 |
ouch XD
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Apr 17 2007, 03:46 AM
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#12
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![]() What the fack. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Official Member Posts: 6,164 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,519 |
Ahaha. Pretty good.
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Apr 17 2007, 04:04 AM
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#13
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![]() Name: Keisha :] ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 142 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 457,727 |
HAHAHA.
It's also funny how the old Chinese man was willing to touch some guy's balls. Literally. |
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Apr 17 2007, 04:52 PM
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#14
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![]() Senior Member ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 793 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 425,250 |
ROFLCOPTERS
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Apr 26 2007, 12:07 AM
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#15
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![]() tell me more. ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Official Member Posts: 2,798 Joined: Jul 2004 Member No: 35,640 |
hahaaaa & ouch.
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