Whats the worst sexual experience you have ever had?, :] |
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| *Uronacid* |
 Feb 2 2007, 01:51 AM
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#26
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QUOTE(kryogenix @ Feb 1 2007, 9:25 PM)  9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke. Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it? I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold. Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits? So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy. She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume. Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME! I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing. Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway. OMG, that has to be the best story ever... XD I'm laughing so hard right now.. xD |
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Feb 2 2007, 02:01 AM
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#27
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 Jake - The Unholy Trinity / Premiscuous Poeteer.  Group: Member Posts: 1,272 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 411,316 |
OH YEAH! OH YEAHHHHH!
Well, my worst sexual experience took place when I was about fifteen or sixteen. The night before the experience I was talking to a friend of the sexual beast who I'd end up with the next day. The girls name was Chong and she was Asian. I have to tell you she was smokin' hot. She was sending me naked pictures and and she even sent me a video where she flashed the camera. I was like 'Yesss!' My friend Sean was asleep and I didn't plan on showing him these pictures to further better my chances of landing this fine ass girl. The Next Day... We head over to his friend Caitlyns house and there they are. The sexy ass asian girl Chong, and the 'Sexual Beast.' We go into her basement and start taking shots of vodka. It was the first time I had really drank before and I got drunk. It was awsome. I vouche for any person who says that girls look so much better when you're drunk. We go on her porch and jump in the pool. We're all drunk at this point. My friend Sean says to me 'Dude, I can see her bush!' Not only did she not have a bush, but she has her underwear on, so I was pretty much just going along with him just to keep everything going smooth. When we get out of the pool Chong turns to me and asks me if I want to make out. I was like, 'YES!' So, we're making out and she stops and starts making out with Sean. The 'Sexual Beast' yells out, 'What about me?' I'm the kind of guy that will help out some one in her situation so as the nice guy that I am I started making out with her. I see in the corner of my eye Chong has her pants off and is running around in a white thong. I was like, 'DAMNIT! DAMN YOU SEAN!' Now, we're in the basement and Sean and Chong are getting pretty nasty. She's got her clothes off and here I am with Caitlyn. So, about ten minutes later, she asks me, 'Can I give you head?' I was thinking to myself, 'I really wish you weren't even touching me.' Then I said, 'Yes.' I don't know what I was thinking. So, this whole ordeal ended about a half hour later, and I got to leave. My mom came to pick me up and was like, 'What's that smell?' My eyes immediately opened as wide as they could. 'I'm like I don't know.' She's like, 'It smells like calogne.' I was like, 'Oh, yeah I put on some of Sean's calogne.' And my heart was racing the whole way home. The people at her school dubbed her Quasimoto. For good reason. She's got a feckin' beak if I ever saw one.  Caitlyn. HAHA. I know it was bad story telling, but I want you guys to experience my pain. And to let you know....My brothers found out and they got me a shirt that says...'I <3 FAT CHICKS' Now, you know where my icon came from. haha. |
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Feb 22 2007, 05:14 PM
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#28
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Member Group: Member Posts: 15 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 505,198 |
Post edited.
This post has been edited by mona lisa: Feb 22 2007, 05:39 PM |
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Feb 22 2007, 05:27 PM
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#29
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,614 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,903 |
QUOTE(i am you @ Feb 22 2007, 5:14 PM) Post edited. ^--- wtf.. I don't think that could be that bad.. HAHA This post has been edited by mona lisa: Feb 22 2007, 05:40 PM |
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Feb 22 2007, 11:08 PM
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#30
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mood: content Group: Member Posts: 2,063 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 42,325 |
QUOTE(kryogenix @ Feb 1 2007, 9:25 PM) 9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke. Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it? I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold. Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits? So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy. She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume. Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME! I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing. Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway. http://www.talkchat.org/archives/000095.htm Do you get ANYTHING that isn't ripped off? |
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Feb 22 2007, 11:10 PM
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#31
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 CheccMate Foo! Group: Member Posts: 839 Joined: Dec 2006 Member No: 487,531 |
^ooohhhh burn.
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Feb 23 2007, 08:41 AM
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#32
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 Holla if ya hate me Group: Member Posts: 2,386 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 80,819 |
Not too long after I lost it some years ago... this one girl. She was... she was... she was the one in charge... she was THE MAN!
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| *Duchess of Dork* |
Feb 23 2007, 10:01 AM
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#33
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QUOTE(mocassinsx29 @ Feb 22 2007, 11:08 PM) LOL And I've got "OH YEAH I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN" stuck in my head. LOL QUOTE(Funky Buddha @ Feb 23 2007, 8:41 AM) Not too long after I lost it some years ago... this one girl. She was... she was... she was the one in charge... she was THE MAN! Oh my. Was it a she-male?
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Feb 23 2007, 10:16 AM
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#34
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Holla if ya hate me Group: Member Posts: 2,386 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 80,819 |
Thankfully no. She was just.... she was THA BOSS
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| *Monochrome.* |
Feb 23 2007, 11:08 AM
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#35
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QUOTE 9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke. Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it? I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold. Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits? So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy. She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume. Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME! I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing. Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway. HAHAHAHA THATS THE WINNER RIGHT THERE. im choking |
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Apr 1 2007, 08:58 AM
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#36
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 Newbie Group: Member Posts: 3 Joined: Apr 2007 Member No: 513,776 |
QUOTE(kryogenix @ Feb 1 2007, 10:25 PM) 9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke. Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it? I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold. Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits? So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy. She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume. Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME! I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing. Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway. Ahahahhaaha. That made me laugh so hard, I cried. |
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Apr 1 2007, 05:16 PM
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#37
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ClandestinexBritt Group: Member Posts: 13 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 426,277 |
lol
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| *Monochrome.* |
Apr 1 2007, 05:54 PM
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#38
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^^^OOOOO WARN HER SHES SPAMING OOOOOOO
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Apr 1 2007, 06:16 PM
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#39
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 hi, my names james and i like balls. Group: Member Posts: 85 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 506,555 |
we tried anal >___< talk about ouch.. |
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| *Monochrome.* |
Apr 1 2007, 06:51 PM
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#40
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^ow...that must have been a mess.
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Apr 2 2007, 04:29 PM
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#41
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 793 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 425,250 |
IM A VIRGIN!! YAY ME!!!
I got no AIDS on me :) [Also, this is NOT a "PG-13" topic y'all] |
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Apr 2 2007, 05:06 PM
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#42
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 Lauren :D Group: Member Posts: 2,105 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 176,997 |
^What are you, twelve?
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| *StanleyThePanda* |
Apr 2 2007, 05:08 PM
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#43
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^ He is actually 17, I believe.
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Apr 7 2007, 12:04 AM
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#44
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 Int'l BLAH-er Group: Member Posts: 49 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 414,495 |
this has got to be the best/most entertaining topic on cB.
xD |
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| *Monochrome.* |
Apr 7 2007, 10:25 AM
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#45
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QUOTE(phoenixpyre @ Apr 2 2007, 9:29 PM) IM A VIRGIN!! YAY ME!!! I got no AIDS on me :) [Also, this is NOT a "PG-13" topic y'all] Moron de mierda. |
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Apr 7 2007, 05:17 PM
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#46
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 Get at me Group: Member Posts: 515 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 125,964 |
came in sexual encounter with a partially deaf girl once.. it was weird.. we didnt do anything we just kissed and stuff maybe rounded a little second base? she was really hott too.. she wasn't like retarded or anything though.. good memories lol
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Apr 8 2007, 05:07 PM
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#47
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 Fellatio. Group: Official Member Posts: 2,122 Joined: Mar 2007 Member No: 511,775 |
QUOTE(thanhmai @ Jan 21 2007, 9:29 PM) I was JUST thinking that too. yay!1 im not thoe only one confuzzled around here 
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Apr 8 2007, 05:19 PM
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#48
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Fellatio. Group: Official Member Posts: 2,122 Joined: Mar 2007 Member No: 511,775 |
QUOTE(kryogenix @ Feb 1 2007, 10:25 PM) 9th grade: My first sexual experience that actually involved nudity. While we're fondling each other, she asks me if I like Diet Coke. Me: It's allright. Girl: Well, I LOVE it. How 'bout you go get me a bottle of it? I go downstairs and grab a 20 ounce bottle from the fridge. When I return, she says it's too cold. Girl: How 'bout warming it up...by rubbing it on my tits? So I began to rub her vigorously with the bottle. Soon enough, she asks me to shove it inside of her. She really enjoys it, and so do I because I KNOW that, with this girl, I'm definantly going to get off. That's when it gets crazy. She rips out the bottle, opens it, and begins filling her vagina with Diet Coke. I swear, she nearly empties the volume into her vagina. I had seriously underestimated this vagina's liquid retention volume. Girl: YOU LIKE DIET COKE?!?!?!? OH YEAH OH YEAH DRINK IT FROM ME! I was noticebly freaked me, but I did want to get off, and I didn't want my first load-blow to be into 18.7 fluid ounces of a 0-calorie beverage. I began to go down on her, until she said the exact wrong thing. Girl: OH YEAH, DRINK IT FROM ME! I'M THE KOOL-AID MAN! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! I don't know how she did it with 16-year-old voice, but she sounded exactly like the Kool-Aid man from the commercials. I glanced at the wall, half-expecting him to burst through and over me a fruity beverage. I was extremely turned-off. She could tell, too. As she sat up to see what was wrong, she twisted her body in such a way that Diet Coke shot out of her vagina and all over my face, chest, and groin. And it was at that sticky, low-calorie moment that my parents chose to pull into the driveway. HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA YOU NASTY ASS BITCH!!!! OMG I FEEL SO BAD 4 U :( |
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| *Monochrome.* |
Apr 9 2007, 06:05 AM
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#49
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QUOTE(krn_kiddo254 @ Apr 7 2007, 10:17 PM) came in sexual encounter with a partially deaf girl once.. it was weird.. we didnt do anything we just kissed and stuff maybe rounded a little second base? she was really hott too.. she wasn't like retarded or anything though.. good memories lol 
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Apr 9 2007, 06:19 AM
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#50
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 (′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
What the hell James, that's scary.
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