Later, My Love, another song |
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 Mar 16 2007, 06:37 PM
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#1
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 I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the thrills I will have.  Group: Member Posts: 624 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 445,743  |
I just want you to know
I want you to know that I'm done, I'm done I once thought that you were the one, the one But you can't commit to me. I just wanted to show I wanted to show that I still, I still Want you and I always will, I will But you would rather be free. I came here to say I came here today to tell you that this is the end Chorus: Will you miss me when you sleep tonight? Will you miss me twenty years from now? Do you think you'll ever want me back, that you'll win my heart somehow? Call me when you reach Nirvana I'll sure be glad to hear from you But don't think I'll come running back 'Cause I'm done wasting tears on you. I just wanted to say I wanted to say that I win, I win I've got a new chance to begin, begin While you're left to dwell alone. I just want to display I just want to show that I know, I know I know I need to let you go, oh go In fact I've always known. I came here to say I came here today to tell you that you're not the one Chorus 2x Running past the one I love Don't know what I'm thinking of No more tears left here to cry It's time for me to say good-bye... Chorus 2x |
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Mar 17 2007, 02:48 AM
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#2
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 You can't keep running from what you're trying to find. Group: Official Member Posts: 5,030 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 54,096 |
I like it! My favorite part is
"Will you miss me when you sleep tonight? Will you miss me twenty years from now? Do you think you’ll ever want me back, that you’ll win my heart somehow?" If you're looking for some critique... The rhymes kind of skip lines right? In the chorus, "I’ll sure be glad to hear from you But don’t think I’ll come running back ‘Cause I’m done wasting tears on you." - "You" repeats at the end twice. Maybe you could find different words. |
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Mar 17 2007, 11:03 AM
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#3
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I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the thrills I will have. Group: Member Posts: 624 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 445,743 |
Thanks for the advice. The double "you" bothers me as well, but I'm having trouble thinking of something better.
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| *Kathleen* |
Mar 19 2007, 01:21 PM
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#4
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Guest |
Aww. You should record this and and post it here!
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Mar 19 2007, 04:54 PM
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#5
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I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the thrills I will have. Group: Member Posts: 624 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 445,743 |
^If I were coumputer savvy enough to figure out how to post it here, I would. I've already recorded it (albeit with crappy sound quality in an a capella version).
Thanks, though. 
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| *My Cinderella.* |
Mar 19 2007, 04:58 PM
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#6
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Wow. I love it, especially the chorus. Sing it to us!
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Mar 19 2007, 05:02 PM
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#7
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I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the thrills I will have. Group: Member Posts: 624 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 445,743 |
^Thank you again, and if I had any idea how to do so, I would.
Plus, I'm trying to make the melody less pop-ish. |
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Mar 19 2007, 06:29 PM
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#8
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You can't keep running from what you're trying to find. Group: Official Member Posts: 5,030 Joined: Oct 2004 Member No: 54,096 |
What are you planning on it sounding like? Fast, slowish? And what instruments? I bet it'll be really good.
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Mar 20 2007, 02:41 PM
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#9
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I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the thrills I will have. Group: Member Posts: 624 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 445,743 |
^The melody I currently have is fast, but I'm trying to change it. I don't like how pop-ish it sounds. I'd like it to be slower, but more optimistic than sad-sounding. The dominant instrument would be piano, possibly acoustic guitar, and obviously some sort of percussion, if only to keep the beat.
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