It's so hard to comfort hysterical people. Options

[Smoogrish]

I don't know why, but whenever someone's sad, I can NEVER find the right words to comfort them. It's not like I'm not sorry for them (believe me, I am), but I go blank and all I can do is hug them and say lame things. It's horrible and I feel terrible for not being able to necessarily comfort them, all I can do is cheer them up slightly by cracking some jokes. It makes me feel a little incompetent for not being able to help them more. Does this happen to you?

[tokyo-rose]

Yeah, it happens to me sometimes. But hey, at least you're trying. I'm sure that whoever it is you're comforting is glad to have you there and to know that you care about them. I don't think they'd want to be comforted with wise words immediately anyhow -- they most likely just want to cry it out while you hold them. That's what I'd prefer, anyway.

[breakingdawn]

I'm usually the hysterical one getting comforted. But as much as it might seem that the person isn't helping, as soon as they put their arm around me or tell me that it's okay, I really do feel loads better, but it's just really hard to stop.

Not like I'm hysterical often; I've just had my moments.

[krnxswat]

Just by being there trying to comfort them is a huge help for them.

[michellerrific]

Wow, all the time. People constantly ask for advice but I just don't know what to say because I'm not an advice-y person at all. I'm not good at comforting crying people so I just kinda leave them alone because well, if you say 'are you okay?' and they're crying well then of course they're not okay...

[Chanfleh]

Well I've encountered moments where I've had to comfort a crying friend. At random moments too. At a -formal- party. Shopping. Movie theaters. I never expected it so I just never knew what to do. But I learned that some of my friends like to just rant and when their down, be hugged and on a shoulder to cry, and not cheered up. They just want to cry. But others want to be cheered up and want advice. So what I suggest is, try to find out what works with them. Do they like to talk about their problems? If they do, then really all you have to do is when you see them crying, hug them, and they'll hopefully open up immediately. Or ask ONCE "What's wrong?" or "What happened?" I suggest not asking constantly "What's wrong?" that'll just annoy them and want you to go away. If they don't answer the first time just hug them again, and don't ask again. Don't get frustrated if they won't tell you. Just let it go and try to be there for them. When someone's crying just put them on your shoulder, just let them cry. If they seem angry and are crying, stay away. (No I mean trust me stay away, I learned the hard way.) Just sit next to them, or in front of them. When their done and feel a little better, then go ahead and crack a joke. (or asked what happened or what's wrong if they were angry and crying)

[mytangerine]

usually when i'm helluv upset, a hug is all i need. & perhaps during that hug, someone telling me everything will be okay, things will get better, etc. hugs make everything better.

[Kontroll]

I don't know why, but whenever someone's sad, I can NEVER find the right words to comfort them. It's not like I'm not sorry for them (believe me, I am), but I go blank and all I can do is hug them and say lame things. It's horrible and I feel terrible for not being able to necessarily comfort them, all I can do is cheer them up slightly by cracking some jokes. It makes me feel a little incompetent for not being able to help them more. Does this happen to you?

Hysterical people? Hmm. Well, they've obviously lost some grip of reality, so as a friend I feel the best thing you could do is to yell at them. Not in a mean way, but I feel that some sort of shock would get them back.

I don't know.

[*Uronacid*]

Holly should answer this... I go crazy sometimes... >.>

[Kontroll]

Holly should answer this... I go crazy sometimes... >.>

Yeah, you're like a pit bull whos just been hit one too many times. RUFF RUFF.

[*Uronacid*]

You shouldn't comfort them. If someone is freaking out you should freak out with them. Just completely loose control. For example: if they are screaming and crying you should start screaming and crying too.

[Chanfleh]

That would just make them feel like your making fun of them, Uronacid.

[JustAnotherTeena...]

I don't know why, but whenever someone's sad, I can NEVER find the right words to comfort them. It's not like I'm not sorry for them (believe me, I am), but I go blank and all I can do is hug them and say lame things. It's horrible and I feel terrible for not being able to necessarily comfort them, all I can do is cheer them up slightly by cracking some jokes. It makes me feel a little incompetent for not being able to help them more. Does this happen to you?

Ugh, I have the exact same problem I NEVER know what to say. I feel so useless sometimes, I want to help them and I really do feel bad for them but I can't express it well. Which wasn't the best thing when my exbf was being abused by his family & put down by almost everyone else he knew & he was cutting & suicidal a couple nights... I end up just saying 'I'm sorry' a lot or nothing at all becasue I don't know what to say...

[twoprime]

I really don't think that you have to do all that....just mainly listen.
Most people just want empathy and also a shoulder to cry on, not necessarily analysis.

[*Uronacid*]

That would just make them feel like your making fun of them, Uronacid.

Well usually hysterical people can't think straight. So, it would probably just make them more hysterical.

I was kidding though... xD

[much2muse]

Wow, all the time. People constantly ask for advice but I just don't know what to say because I'm not an advice-y person at all. I'm not good at comforting crying people so I just kinda leave them alone because well, if you say 'are you okay?' and they're crying well then of course they're not okay...

Oh me too. That exactly.

I don't even hug them I just like, freeze, and don't know what to do.