[.Love.Is.Pressious.] |
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 Feb 13 2007, 07:27 PM
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#1
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 [LetYourEmotionsShowInYourWorkOfLife]  Group: Member Posts: 41 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 498,204  |
No matter what you say;
No matter what you do; I will allways love you; Forever till the end; Beating hearts; Blood rushing; Butterflies; Day dreams; This I tell you is love; Its the end to all pain; Suffering and torture; Its you and me; Just us; You're more than life; You're more than love; You're the center of my heart; Keeping me alive; Smiling thoughts; Laughing memories; Great times; Endless; You are me; Love, life, hope; Together forever; Till life has past; Just know that I love you; |
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| *Uronacid* |
Feb 13 2007, 11:18 PM
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#2
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Guest |
I love this whole poem... except for one part... "it's you and me baby", I guess there is nothing wrong with it, but I just don't like the use of the word "baby". If you took it out I personally think it would be better without the word "baby".
It's just an opinion though.. seriously... don't take that to heart. |
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Feb 14 2007, 08:55 PM
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#3
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[LetYourEmotionsShowInYourWorkOfLife] Group: Member Posts: 41 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 498,204 |
Yeah I agree..I edited it :] thanks for telling me :D
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Feb 14 2007, 09:01 PM
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#4
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 Jake - The Unholy Trinity / Premiscuous Poeteer. Group: Member Posts: 1,272 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 411,316 |
Ugh. Haha. I'm sorry, this is just my opinion. I'm not one for simplicity. Ask Josh. I make things more complicated than they have to be and that's how I like it.
But, it's decent. :D |
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Feb 14 2007, 09:02 PM
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#5
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[LetYourEmotionsShowInYourWorkOfLife] Group: Member Posts: 41 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 498,204 |
....that was just pointless...no offence
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Feb 14 2007, 09:15 PM
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#6
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Jake - The Unholy Trinity / Premiscuous Poeteer. Group: Member Posts: 1,272 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 411,316 |
Well, I was giving my opinion. Didn't you see that part? Sorry for speaking my mind. I'll make sure to watch it next time.
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Feb 14 2007, 09:17 PM
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#7
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[LetYourEmotionsShowInYourWorkOfLife] Group: Member Posts: 41 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 498,204 |
Sorry...I just feel like sh**...yeah...thank you...i appreciate it...sorry took sadness out on you...I didn't mean too...-hugs-
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| *mishyerr* |
Feb 14 2007, 09:17 PM
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#8
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Reminds me of something I would hear in a techno love song. lol. It's cute.
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Feb 14 2007, 09:18 PM
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#9
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[LetYourEmotionsShowInYourWorkOfLife] Group: Member Posts: 41 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 498,204 |
Thanks...I love ur recent post :]
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| *Kathleen* |
Feb 14 2007, 10:02 PM
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#10
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I like it except for the unnecessary, superfluous semi-colons and the fact that you misspelled precious.
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Feb 14 2007, 10:47 PM
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#11
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[LetYourEmotionsShowInYourWorkOfLife] Group: Member Posts: 41 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 498,204 |
yeah...i really dont know why i do those things and spelling isn't my subject...lol :p thanks for telling
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Feb 27 2007, 10:17 AM
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#12
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 Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 659 Joined: Jan 2007 Member No: 494,019 |
You see what I mean. This is pleasant. It doesn't make you want to jump off the roof of Wal-Mart when you read it. You should write more stuff like this that is actually enjoyable and stop writing depression, it's not fun. And don't be so damn jumpy when someone criticizes you. Learn to accept that not everyone is going to like your stuff and that you will have to deal with negative criticism.
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Mar 1 2007, 05:22 PM
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#13
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 Newbie Group: Member Posts: 9 Joined: Feb 2007 Member No: 506,410 |
seriously what is with the usage of semi colons? please learn their usage. i like this poem, its better than all the rest
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