Made a Mistake, SOS, Want to fix it!!!, I would love your opinion! Options

[ninaD]

So I need some advice here...I will try to give a bit of background. I moved to a new city with this guy I met at school, we dated a year and a half we were going to get married, BUT he cheated on me so we broke up, he was my first love and first everything. So I was obviously heart broken and went through it pretty roughly...anyways then about two months later I met this guy, and he swept me off my feet, treated me like every girl wants to be treated, did everything for me! Although the 1st guy tried to get back together with me and I didn't accept it for obvious reasons as I stated above...so me and this new guy fell in love and he treated me like a princess better than I have ever been treated...BUT since my 1st got in the way of the new guy I was not allowed to talk to him anymore etc. etc and so eventually I couldn't handle it becasue I wanted to still be his "friend" so I kept talking to him, and when new guy asked I lied about it, over and over again. So he found out about it all, and now he is heartbroken and soooo hurt and sooo mad. And if anything it made me realize how good I had it with him, and how much of a loser the 1st was! What should I do? Can I fix it, how? Or is he better off with someone who won't lie!

[DominicanaMel]

Well, you already know u shouldn't have lied, so I won't dwell on that....Are you two still together? If so, if you feel that you still want to be with him and you'll be honest with him, keep asking for forgiveness....Maybe he felt that since you lied, it was for a reason other than to keep from hurting his feelings....Maybe he thought you were cheating... And for the record, a guy that cheats on you doesn't care about you or your feelings. IMO you're better off staying away from him....

[ninaD]

Thanks Melina, Well we aren't really together anymore, me and the new guy, but I want to fix it...so I need to act like we are in a sense...thanks for you advice

[DominicanaMel]

[*Uronacid*]

I'm so f**king confused by that paragraph...

From what I understand, you lied to the guy you liked. He found out you lied, he's upset, now you're sad because you don't know what to do, and you found out you like him way more than your ex.

Good, now... tell him the truth and APOLOGIZE. :]

[ninaD]

No you have it all wrong...I am in love with my new boyfriend, and I did tell him the truth, and did apologize, now what??

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

You need to know what love really means because so far in the past couple of months you have been "in love" twice, so what if that other new guy doesnt work out? are you going to "fall in love" again with another guy? love doesnt work like that. I think its jacked up and unfair of you to go around and keep talking with a guy who you "use" to be romantically involved with when the other nice guy is going out of his way to make YOU happy. Right now the only thing you can do is apologize to him and let him chose if he wants to give you another chance and if he doesnt then oh well, it was your loss.


why do you even want to keep talking with an ex that cheated on you? I mean if a guy treats you like a princess but you prefer to talk with a jackass...uhm i dont get it.

[Kontroll]

So I need some advice here...I will try to give a bit of background. I moved to a new city with this guy I met at school, we dated a year and a half we were going to get married, BUT he cheated on me so we broke up, he was my first love and first everything. So I was obviously heart broken and went through it pretty roughly...anyways then about two months later I met this guy, and he swept me off my feet, treated me like every girl wants to be treated, did everything for me! Although the 1st guy tried to get back together with me and I didn't accept it for obvious reasons as I stated above...so me and this new guy fell in love and he treated me like a princess better than I have ever been treated...BUT since my 1st got in the way of the new guy I was not allowed to talk to him anymore etc. etc and so eventually I couldn't handle it becasue I wanted to still be his "friend" so I kept talking to him, and when new guy asked I lied about it, over and over again. So he found out about it all, and now he is heartbroken and soooo hurt and sooo mad. And if anything it made me realize how good I had it with him, and how much of a loser the 1st was! What should I do? Can I fix it, how? Or is he better off with someone who won't lie!

Listen, everyone lies. This new guy sounds sweet. Aww. How old are you? YOu said you just moved and planned to get married, so you must at least be 18. Hopefully a little older. But, anyway, if you are older then you have to confess to the new guy. I'm pretty sure I read somewhere that he found out...but it's like me confessing my sins to God. He already knows, He just wants to hear it from me. You know?

This first guy is a dick. Can you get a restaining order or something? haha. But, you should definitely try and persue this new guy. If you really like him. Just make sure it's not a crush[I don't think it is unless this new guy hasn't been in your life for long. I don't know] but anyway.... If you want something go for it. We all make mistakes, there's no getting around that. Talk to him in person... tell him what's going on. The worse that can happen is that he's gonna leave. You're not going to die. But you're out of the game with that dude.

So, you can either lose him by sitting back or maybe get a second chance and have the chance to win him back or have the chance to lose him. At least this way you'll have a shot.

[ninaD]

Thank you Jake! That made a lot of sense, you definitley got my story, thanks! And yah I have told him I am soo sorry that I lied like that! But it is going to be an uphill battle! And yes it is more than a crush, I am in love with him, and I truly think that with my X out of the picture, I can fully concentrate on my real boyfriend. I just hope that I can withstand all the toughness of him not trusting me for along time. And I guess I am wondering also, if there is anything specific I could do to help him out with trusting me.

[multifaceted]

I got confused with your problem but Jake's advice seems good.

Ever relationship is like a lesson, you learn from it. Now you know it is not wise to go lying to the new guy. If you just want to be friends with your ex then tell him. He might of have mistaken that for cheating and that's why he is mad. If he gets mad over the fact that you want a life out of the relationship, then he has some major jealousy problems.

Trust is important for a lasting relationship.