Someone important to you,, suppose you found out.. Options

[unconfirmed_exis...]

You were about to lose that person. Choose anyone of signifigants to you.
And let your imagination explore, maybe they had to move away,
maybe they're dying from aids, maybe they're just not themselves anymore.
I'm wondering how you guys would react.

I ask this because I've just looked over my reaction to hearing
the news that my mother is suffering from either a tumor or some ulcer.
It just made me realize death was very real and how it could
take away someone when you're not fully ready to let go of them.

You guys don't have to read the stuff in italics but if you do,
you'll be reading my first response to hearing about my mother's condition.
And if you do read the stuff in italics,
I want to ask the members that have read it,
whether I over reacted over the ordeal.

Just trying to get a better grip on this issue.
It's been bothering me for a bit. Thanks in advance.
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Catch 22,It's a term I learned from English 2.

Basically, you find yourself in a situation where the choices you make,
whatever you decide to do, you lose either way. You end with failure.
No escape, not even a glimmer of hope. No stupid sappy American happy ending.
You are doomed. Game Over. You're screwed. You're f*cked.

I laugh, I laugh feeling empty feeling like nothing can feed
the hole growing in the bowels of my insides realizing my catch 22.
To face a reality and realize you would have to lose something with
much importance, something that impacted your life.
It doesn't matter whether my sister speaks the truth
or whether what she said was untrue.

The fact of the matter is with this cycle of life.
With every new beginning, comes a end.
We don't live to the end of time, our time ENDS.
We're another cow in the fields, dying to live, living to die.
A f*cking number, we are all the 1 in the f*cking billions
of humans on this planet. The drop of salt water in a SEA of droplets.
And even if what she said won't happen now or never happens..

I know someday I'll find myself losing someone that had meaning to me.
Someone signifigant, someone I found managed to comfort me even though
they never gotten to see the real me. Someone that wanted the world
for me and got hurt by me. Someone I let down. Someone that loves me anyways.
Someone that is so much to me. Someone I love.

And it hurts knowing there's a chance I'll might not be able to make
this person see the beautiful somebody I wanted to be.
Out of all the stupid beings in this planet I can't bear the thought
of this person being mortal and submitting to the scythe of Death.
Kill the star-crossed lovers and have them gunned down. Kill the toddler because
he was walking on the wrong side of the side walk. Kill that 6 year old girl
that just got kidnapped and raped. Kill the person who would find a cure to aids.
Kill the man who starved himself trying to feed his family.

I don't want to lose my mom to a f*cking tumor or ulcer.
I don't want her to die, period.
I don't f*cking care if I sound like an
immature brat that can't accept reality.
I don't give a damn if I'm like a typical human
who doesn't realize the true importance of something
until that something is taken away from them.

Oh god don't take her away from me please.
I know somehow I'll find a way to escape,
find a way move on when it happens
and that every obsticle that comes in
my way will eventually disappear.

The fact is this problem is now.
This hurt I feel inside is now.
This f*cking catch 22
is in my f*cking face.