stressed. Options

[_sarcastic_]

is it a right thing if your bf constantly reminds you on how he'd dump you if you don't do well in school. or that he keeps pushing you and lecturing you to get As and Bs. he's the kind of guy that overachieves...
my bf is driving me crazy right now and i don't know what to do. he says it's some kind of motivation but to me its more like a pressure and i don't work well with pressure.
i've tried telling him to loosen up abit and he says he will but he doesn't.

[***Lucy**]

Oh my heck! Why he does this to u? Just tell him that u are happy w/ your grades and that you wanna be w/ him because you need sb to support u and love u. You could mention that your parents press u enough and you don't need him to do the same..

But..oh my heck!!! it's the most unusual thing I've ever heard! I thought that most of the times Girlfriends have better grades..

[alysaphobia]

i don't know... i don't really think your guy is being a good boyfriend. aren't boyfriends supposed to support you and be there for you when you're down? if he's bugged about your grades because he's a perfectionist/overachiever, he could offer to help you study but i don't think he should keep mentioning he could dump you any time your grades slipped. plus, he's your boyfriend, not your parents. the talk on the grades is not his to make.

you should talk to him. tell him you care about him but you don't like it when he pressures you about your academics.

then again, if you're failing/doing pretty badly in school, i can understand why he might be worried for you. but in any case, i really don't think he should threaten to dump you over grades.

[magicfann]

Oh my heck!

^ bad


anyway
i suggest a new boyfriend

[***Lucy**]

^ Umm what's wrong w/ "Oh my heck"?

[*mipadi*]

^ Umm what's wrong w/ "Oh my heck"?

Well, it doesn't make any sense, for one. Try using "Oh my God!" or "seriously wtf?"

[xostolenkissezox]

my boyfriend does the same thing to me and i just lost it a couple days ago. the difference is that i'm 2 credits short of my diploma and he keeps threatening me that if i don't go back to school, he's gonna leave me. then he tried to tell me i better have my diploma by our trip to cancun or we aren't going...needless to say i lost it and told him he isn't motivating me, he's just annoying me. he's quit bringing it up so much but i can tell he wants to....
talk to him and try to work it out or just end it because it's gonna stress you to a breaking point....

[OhMyAnniee]

Well if he overachieves and he's pushing YOU, I would think that..
- he's trying to get you to his level
- he wants a smart girlfriend

[***Lucy**]

Well, it doesn't make any sense, for one. Try using "Oh my God!" or "seriously wtf?"

i know! actually my bro has been saying "oh my heck" all the time lately. He's started getting on my nerves. He told me he got used to it coz he had been watching old survivor episodes. I really can't understand what an expression has to do with survivor but anyway..

[*Uronacid*]

is it a right thing if your bf constantly reminds you on how he'd dump you if you don't do well in school. or that he keeps pushing you and lecturing you to get As and Bs. he's the kind of guy that overachieves...
my bf is driving me crazy right now and i don't know what to do. he says it's some kind of motivation but to me its more like a pressure and i don't work well with pressure.
i've tried telling him to loosen up abit and he says he will but he doesn't.

Tell him not to worry about your grades. Of course, they are important. Sometimes I even help Holy with her homework, but I don't think it's my responsibility to disipline her when her grades drop. Although, I would feel bad if it were my fault. :P

Like the previous girl said, "He's your boyfriend, and not your Dad." He can encourage you to get good grades or help you to achieve good grades, but if he's throwing your relationship in your face whenever you get a "D" I think you need to sit him down and tell him exactly how you feel. Explain to him that you appriciate the fact that he cares about your grades and future, but that threatening you isn't going to work. It puts you under alot of pressure, and creates an environment where you end up doing worse because you can't think straight under all of the pressure.

[rAwritsgWeg]

*Im not siding with anyone*
Hmm maybe he's telling you that becuase he is concerned. I don't know how well you are doing in school so, maybe if you are doing bad or something, he's trying to help. However, its not fair that he's putting you through so much pressure. Especially when he knows you dont handle it well. Hmmm... Lemme ponder on a little more on this one....

[SimplicityGirl]

I think it's kind of mean of him to tell you he'd dump you for your grades....grades don't justify how smart or intelligent you really are. Living with typical asian parents, my bf and I keep our grades up so we can keep on dating, so grades are never a big thing for us....but if I were you, I'd tell him to lay off the pressure. He's supposed to be SUPPORTIVE of you...not be all like "if you don't get A's, I'm dumping you".

[*suddenly she*]

my bf is driving me crazy right now and i don't know what to do. he says it's some kind of motivation but to me its more like a pressure and i don't work well with pressure.
i've tried telling him to loosen up abit and he says he will but he doesn't.

motivation, my ass!
as my former humanities teacher used to put it
"pain is very effective. if i told john i'd cut off his left pinky if he didn't get a perfect score on his quiz, he'd probably get a perfect score on his quiz."

that's basically what your boyfriend's doing. what does he love, you or your grades? sure, he's probably doing it because he cares about you, but threatening to leave you because of imperfect scores? lame.

dump him.

[rAwritsgWeg]

Yea, If he is threatening to dump you for grades He's not worth it. You need a guy that will actually care about you.

[-sincerely]

he's your boyfriend, not your parents

true. i can totally see the side that he's coming from. he thinks he is trying to look out for you, and help you out with your grades, or whatever the case may be, but woosh that seems a little.. uhh.. overwhelming. you have to explain to him that you're not as smart as him, and that he should want you for the way you are, not what he's trying to make you become.

[*Uronacid*]

I thought about this for a while now... You feel as if this isn't working for you. You are young. There are pleanty of other guys out there in the world. You have already told him to stop. You know that whatever he is doing really isn't benefiting you at all (It only makes you do worse because you get stressed out.). Why don't you just lay down the law. Your obviously not happy. If he isn't willing to ease up, end your relationship with him.

[31miracles]

I don't believe he's trying to make you as good schoolwise at him.

He's trying to help you, because he understands how important grades are.
If he know's your trying harder, he won't dump you. Easy up on him and try studying with him, so he sees that you understand that he cares about you.

and come on... A's and B's aren't hard to get. You can do it.

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

Wtf how gay.. It is your life live it the way you want. If you like your grades.. forgett everyone else.

[Anna-x-chan]

is it a right thing if your bf constantly reminds you on how he'd dump you if you don't do well in school. or that he keeps pushing you and lecturing you to get As and Bs. he's the kind of guy that overachieves...
my bf is driving me crazy right now and i don't know what to do. he says it's some kind of motivation but to me its more like a pressure and i don't work well with pressure.
i've tried telling him to loosen up abit and he says he will but he doesn't.

Kinda what I went through.
Hes my ex now though.
Tell him it stresses you and if he doesn't understand, he obviously doesn't care.

[*Infinite.*]

^To be honest, I don't think saying that he doesn't care is the right approch, that could be going as far as saying something that isn't true, which is assuming things which is never good.

Just tell him how you feel and think as others have said. In my opinion, him telling you hes going to break up with you if your grades drop isn't the right thing to say at all, you need to tell him that it stresses you out with him saying it, which is going to make you have your grades drop. He needs to understand that. If it gets to overwhelming, take a break. Get him to back off a bit, and after the break is over talk to him about it and if he doesn't change, then perhaps it wasn't the right person.

-shrugs- Your young, theres plenty of others out there. I mean if he doesn't want your grades to drop and you need help or your having trouble then get him to help you if hes so worried.

[_sarcastic_]

wow those are some good advice...

Well if he overachieves and he's pushing YOU, I would think that..
- he's trying to get you to his level
- he wants a smart girlfriend

he's already told me that he wants a smart gf, and expects me to score like As and high Bs. i mean my grades are actually quite good cept for the math, so...he's not exactly very happy with my math grade which is pretty much a low B but come on it's Honors Alg//Trig. i'm actually an asian that does suck at math.
i know he's trying to help me, but threatening me isn't exactly the way to go. well he's eased up abit already so it's way better now.

Easy up on him and try studying with him, so he sees that you understand that he cares about you.

as much as i want to, we kinda have this long distance thing.

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

I thought about this for a while now... You feel as if this isn't working for you. You are young. There are pleanty of other guys out there in the world. You have already told him to stop. You know that whatever he is doing really isn't benefiting you at all (It only makes you do worse because you get stressed out.). Why don't you just lay down the law. Your obviously not happy. If he isn't willing to ease up, end your relationship with him.

WORD.

tell him you know that not everyone in the world is gonna think like him or do the same things he does because if he hasnt notice you guys and everyone else are diffrent. SO WHAT if your grades might be bad thats a thing for your parents and YOU to worry about not him. hes not your father, husband or anything but YOUR boyfriend. but i can understand where he is coming from but hes taking everthing really seriously. you need to talk to him because i know that your boyfriend does have good intentions he wants you to not get so caught up in your guys realtionship and do well at skool so you can have a future ( so you need to step it up girl and get those grades not for your realtionship but your FUTURE.) . just tell him to stop pressuring you and that you are doing what you can and if he keeps it up YOU are going to be the one ending the realtionship.