Createblog Diary, Version 8.0 Options

[mznikki]

dear cb diary,
found out mikey is gonna be coming up to visit during his break but he's brining 5 other girls with him...hmm wounder if his gf will be mad. kinda sucks that he's bringing so many people its gonna be annoying i know it..esp because ther'es like no room in the house i mean there is but like there aren't enough beds and such..or bathrooms argh i have a feeling i'll be pulling out my hair and i don't want to be. i hope they dont interfere with my classes and hw and whatnot and hopefully tita will be okay with the extra guests. i don't like how he's being lately, don't wanna go to meetings with him there nor do i want to go to the semiformal really overloaded with a ton of work from my "favorite" teacher i hate her...really i do. hope i finish this work before 8 so i can watch tv.

[*mzkandi*]

Dear cB,

I hope I get this job.

-K

[think!IMAGINARIL...]

Dear cB Diary,
AHHH GOD DAMMIT! I really, really, really need a break from school. Preferably one that's about a week more than a 3-day-weekend :( At least there's gonna be another 3-day-weekend this weekend..
Well, at least tomorrow is the shortest day.. Only 5 real periods of school and DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHY! Gah, I really this club. Hopefully we can get our cameras by next week 'cause I can't really find the right time to tell my dad that I want that awesome orange camera.

Hmm. Yeah, well, NINE MORE DAYS! Yesss! FINALLY! I've missed the guys so much! It's been like 3 months! I really, really miss the museum. And to tell you the truth, what I really miss is doing the projects and learning. I MISS MY ASTROPHYSICS AND ROBOTICS CLASSES! Earth science too, 'cause Ms. Mahfood is cool like that, haha. But that class was pretty boring this summer.. Whatever. I still really want to continue learning. And you know what? I sorta miss my friends from MS that go to the Hayden program. We had so much fun this summer! And just watch. If the Mets win the World Series, I can be like, "IN YOUR FACE! HAH." The only bad thing about the guys is that they're Mets haters. Other than that, they're really cool people.
I wonder what the curriculum is going to be this year.. Hopefully it's tied into theoretical science in some way, because I really want to learn more about that. And maybe we can focus more on nanotechnology? That'd be cool, but there isn't that much more to learn. Maybe we can do more things with the Legos Mindstorm sets.. Or focus on planetary exploration again. That'd be awesome. Maybe we can work on some more rover missions.. And I'd really like to learn more about global warming for Earth Science. Or maybe we can move into biology and the they can help me do well in school :) MAYBE WE'LL HAVE NEW TEACHERS! Dude. What if Jeff is back? Hmm. Why did he quit in the first place? I thought he was a pretty awesome math teacher. Everyone did. And Josh? Maybe he's still in Spain. Last time we heard from him was about 1 1/2 years ago. I doubt that he's coming back.
WHAT IF THEY RECRUITED MORE PEOPLE? :O Dude, I don't want more people! I like my group as is..

Ergh. Whatever. We'll see. Next, next Saturday, that is.

[ParanoidAndroid]

Dear CB,

It's just too hard to try and fake it all the way. I want to be healthy about the situation, but it's just too hard. It's harder than anyone could think it could be. Somehow the most dangerous paths are the easiest and it's so hard to avoid it. I can't resist the temptation. I wish I could but I can't. I really can't. I need a better way of doing things, I really do.

[angelrevelation]

dear cb diary,

M asked me to homecoming today... i just wish it had been T or S. M is just a friend... barely a friend. i don't know what to say to him.

[*mzkandi*]

Dear cB,

I GOT THE JOB!!! I'm so happy to be employed. Hopefully having this job won't interfere too much with school. Maybe I can begin searching for a new car soon. Ohhh....new car smell!

-K

[johsee]

dear cb,

i`m confused . . . i broke up with him today, but i still have feelings for him. it`s just that we never seemed like a couple. he always just treated me like a friend. but everyone said he took it pretty hard, and i still want to be friends.

anyways, he just called me. he said that we`re cool & all, but i don`t really believe him . . .

i might ask kyle out. but i don`t know how long i should wait

-- josie.

[*stephinika*]

Dear cB diary,

So this weekend was the SHIT. Man. Last 2 weekends have actually...and this one coming up should be good too.

I love life right now. Except school. Haha, seriously though...this weekend was amaaaaaazing. I loved it.

[Rachel]

dear cb diary
i dont know why i am not happy. it just seems like i am in a slump; trying to find things that are wrong. i just am not feeling comfortable now. i don't feel the same connections i did even last week. i keep finding myself questioning if my friends are actually my friends. it sucks. i was so happy for the first time since tom and then it seems to have slipped away. speaking of tom, i am talking to him more but i don't want anything to come back. i can't allow myself to even have a crush on him again, i don't want to ever get hurt like that. i just want someone to love now. i liked dave for a bit but then susan, who already had boys, needed to have dave too. i am happy for them just it sucks because i am alone. all my friends here have boyfriends or girlfriends, i feel so alone sometimes. i just need someone, i wish there was someone to have.

[Naomitron]

So I found my someone. He's fabulous, and for now he's mine. I still can't believe how crazy things started out. I never believed in "love at first sight". Now I do. To the extent that I'm willing to slow down and take the baby steps that I seem to have a habit of skipping. How can one man do this to me? He's perfect for me. I know that I'm getting ahead of myself by saying that, but it's that instinct that tells me so. For once I found a man, not a boy. And Lord help me, because this man may be my undoing.

[think!IMAGINARIL...]

Dear cB Diary,
I feel like shit. I don't give a fck anymore about anything.
The day just started out horrible. I WOKE UP HALF AN HOUR LATE. So fcking stressed. I forgot to bring my lab, which means 5 points off. Then I found out that I'm failing English, which is ironic because I'm supposed to be failing Spanish. I'm actually doing well in Spanish this year. EVERYONE IS FAILING ENGLISH. Does the teacher give a crap? No. He just wants us to fail. Just because he was the CoSA last year doesn't really mean that he cares about failing students. Everyone got a 70 on the test AND essay. I bet everyone is going to fail the next book as well.
Tomorrow morning: English test. Bio test. Global essay. Wow. The only 3 periods before lunch are going to be CHAOTIC and EXTREMELY STRESSFUL.
I'm failing everything this semester. I don't give a crap anymore. I can just not achieve my dreams. I can just go kill myself right now. Seriously. There's nothing left to live for. My dreams have been crushed.
I left my fcking binder in math last period because I was rushing out to find my friends. I know they'd wait, but I wanted to talk to them. Yeah. That made me feel extremely stupid. I can still do my homework, but I can't study for bio. Yes, I might fail bio too.
AND my fcking sister called to say that I'm not getting the camera. I seriously hate her. She's 300 miles away! Why can't she just get out of my life completely? She has screwed up my life so much.
Yeah. She said that she would get me a really good camera for $150. WHY THE FCK WOULD I WANT THAT CAMERA? The only reason I want the orange camera is because it's fcking ORIGINAL. A plain silver camera just won't do for me. I don't like to blend in with the crowd. That's why I don't listen to mainstream stuff. Because I like to be original.
Yeah. And because of that, I'm not looking foward to going to the museum this Saturday. I REALLY wanted to go there early to take pictures, but not I'm not getting a f**king camera so I can't! Wowww. AND I usually look foward to going to the program. Now I just feel like leaving. I feel like leaving this world. Maybe I can just get trapped in some other dimension and have fun there. Surely, I wouldn't feel as crappy as I am now.
I seriously would just quit Digital Photography instead of getting a plain silver camera. Why? Because I'm conceited like that. Yes, I admit that I'm conceited and that I strive to be original, but that's a good thing. I wander off instead of following someone's footprints. That's what would make a good scientist.
Today's formula = Stress + Feeling Stupid + Losing my hopes and what I look foward to.
What does that all add up to? Anger and depression. Yes, Elaine is depressed and angry right now.
So far today, I've given up on 3 things. We'll see tonight if I have to give up on the last thing. I just might have to give up on him.

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

Dear cb,

1 year and 3 days ago. I asked my boyfriend out. I love him so much. I don't think it is the kind of love like.. Butterflys in the tummy and I get red in the face when ever he says anything to me. It's so much bigger and more then that now. I am so in love with him that it scares me sometime. I was thinking today.. If I have never met him what I would be like right now. For one I would still be smoking the sheba and I would also be smoking cigs still. I would never be at school because I would be with my ex friends. If I lost him at this time of my life. I would have no one. He is the only person I hang out with after school. For some reason I am ok with that... Things are not going well around the house and he is there for me right now and I appricate it more then ever. What would I do with out him.. This scares me even more..

<3 Shelby

[angelrevelation]

dear cb diary,

i found some quotes that i can really relate to right now... maybe for my whole life.

i hate it when people tell me
"i can't believe you don't have a boyfriend."
well what's so hard to believe?
i've never been good enough for anyone.
- spiffin_qu0tes


And If I was in a crowd,
you probably wouldn't notice me.
I don't really stand out &
I don't talk much to people I don't know.
It's kind of hard to know me or be friends
with me, so I advise not to waste your
time on me... but that doesn't mean
I don't want you to try


*sigh*

[Jane Doe.]

"Dear cB Diary,"

Yeah, well, you know what? I want a friend. I mean, I know I have friends, but I hate feeling so goddamn hostile when I'm laughing and giggling. I want to feel safe and "okay" just for once. I know I have my problems and my quirks, but I need to overcome them, also, because I need to get things done. I have been telling myself this in some form or another since I was as young as 10: I want change. I may not want to change my interests, my sense of humor, my comprehension, but I certainly want to change this overwhelming feeling that's been glooming over me longer than I can possibly remember. Paranoia? No. Just a small problem that escalated into something debilitating.

My social habits are absolute shit and they've been like this so long, I don't know what actual socializing is anymore. I don't know how to function like someone my age should. Yes, I may have knowledge of other things, but it isn't important if I can't make it through a mall without wanting to pass out, vomit, or just give in and go home.

Normal people have many friends or they a handful; they go out, they have fun, and they worry about the way the look to please others--I, on the other hand, cannot go out any farther than my driveway, sleep and read most of my days, and cannot help but abhor what I've become. What exactly am I? Well, other than pathetic? I am in need of help, and it isn't the best thing when I want to become independent from the things that "help" me. It's not a mental issue, it's just something that needs to be fixed and I haven't found this miracle fix, but I have a feeling it comes in the form of something most have--a significant other. Why? WHY WHY must I want something I've never had? I guess I just seek that which makes others happy. Yeah. I can plan out how I want to change, what I want to change and how much, but there are just certain things I have no control over and it kills me. Me, think too much? Nooo. Maybe not enough.

[think!IMAGINARIL...]

Dear cB Diary,
Hayden Program was yesterday. Wasn't that much fun. I guess the start of the summer session was more fun =/ Everyone CHANGED. I didn't really change except for the fact that I got a retainer. Everyone changed by the way they interact with people. Some people were a little more withdrawn and some were REALLY outgoing. And some people were just.. really boring.
I felt shorter too. Because my school's ceiling is really low and the RCC's ceiling is really, really high. And they all grew like 4719054 inches in 2 months. I was like the shortest person in my group..
And I noticed just yesterday that some of them have awesome looking eyes. My eyes are like.. black. Not really brown. But they're really reflective.

Yeah, well I got my camera.. I just don't understand why. UPS only delivers on business days unless you get Saturday shipping. Whatever. It's really awesome. It's the size of my phone! And it came with a dock and case and everything. I am really glad I didn't get the orange Casio one.

School is.. stressful. I don't have that much homework due tomorrow, but I have a Spanish project, which means that I have to go out and buy a color cartridge. Yeah.
I need to learn how to interpret things. What people say or do or even type confuse me. =/

[radhikaeatsraman]

Dear cB diary,
Blaaaah, I called him and the convo lasts like for like, 30 seconds. :[ Oh well. I hope he calls me by next week or I can call him next week. I have to go to Dallas this weekend, so no hanging with him then. But he lives really far off, so how am I gonna make plans with him? I think it can happen. There's a beach like 2 minutes away, we could chill there, play some frisbee or something. But I'd have to bring at least one other person with me so it could be an actual game. That would be pretty fun though, and it would be a little more relaxed than a one-on-one date with him. Yeahhh. I'll do that.

-Radhika

[*lolita kitty*]

Dear cb diary,

It's been for freaking ever. I'm glad I stopped posting here.

Birthday is in 16 days or something like that. I'm turning 15. I'd rather turn 16 so I can drive.

I'm at Courtney's.

- Cassie

[shynhuggablee]

Dear cb diary,

i am sick of being not good enough anymore and i try so hard

=[[