Rules for Women, Written by Men Options

[orgasm]

A friend of mine linked me to this and I thought it was pretty funny...
especially considering that females are always making lists for males...
here's a list for females written by males!

The rules women need to know for better relationships.

MEN'S RULES

We always hear " the rules "
From the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!


1. Men ARE not mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly Acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. The only part of a story we need to hear is the outcome.

1. Come to us with a problem only If you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a < U> problem See a doctor.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you won't dress like the <?xml:namespace prefix = st1 ns = "urn:schemas-microsoft-com
:office:smarttags" />Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to act like soap opera guys.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one .

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.Peach, for example, is a fruit, not! A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will Be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear Is fine... Really

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1- Just because you instantly bond with other women doesn't mean I'll ever have to make more than a grunt to another guy

1- What we say is pretty much that, not a hidden signal or secret encoded message

1- If I ask for something while you are in the kitchen or up and about, it is not because I think you are my "maid", it is just logical that you get it at that time. You can do the same.

1- Flatulenece is funny.

1- we are never going to "want" to do the dishes or laundry, so just make us do it, don't ask us to.

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;

But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.