Lost Relationship, .. what happens now? Options

[xlitoxb]

.. Hmm, I was sort of skeptical of writing yet another lost love type of relationship, but I guess I sorta need the advice of others who's not biased and knows no one in my life. So, I've turned to the wonderful people here.

Let me see where to start.. Um, I've dated my ex-boyfriend for over 3 years now, and this summer, he tells me that he doesn't want a relationship anymore [or right now]. That completely shocked me, and I didn't like it, but I agreed only cuz it's his wish, and I don't wanna make him be with me, if he doesn't want to. Anyhow, even though we weren't going out, we still were? It was a sort of non-exclusive dating thing. The complicated thing is that even though throughout the 3 years together, we were on off and such, I realize now that I don't really want anyone but him, and although I've told him that, it doesn't really seem to effect him much. Is it because he doesn't care, or that he's just to afraid to accept that now? Like, the whole reason I think he doesn't want a relationship anymore is because he's in college and like, there's temptations going around? Iunno, how to say it.. but yeah.

I've tried to keep myself busy but however much I block him away from my mind in the mornings, at night they all come rushing back to me. I also try to hang out with my friends more, but he's my best friend's cousin, and so sometimes it doesn't work so greatly. And like, I've asked one of my friends for advice and she just told me not to worry about it, because one day he'll realize that he misses me, and he'll come back to me. I wanna believe her really badly, but what happens when that doesn't happen? What happens when he finds someone else?

Gahh, I'm like going insane with this. *sigh* Plus, he's like the first love/first boyfriend type of thing. I don't even know if anyone could help me with this, but I figured I'd try, right? Thanks to the people who took the time to read this.