saving a relationship Options

[silent epidemic]

we've been together for a little more than five months. he's my best friend, i've known him for three years now. my absolute best friend. but lately .. it feels as if things aren't the same. within the past two weeks actually. his view on everything has changed .. he told a mutual friend that he still wants to be with me but the feelings are just different. he still says he loves me and all but .. he's just confused. what's happening? is there anything i should be doing? he got out of the hospital a week or two ago .. do you think that could have done anything? i just need some wisdom .. some advice .. something. how do you spice up a relationship? maybe i should try that. oh geez .. =[

[OhMyAnniee]

Maybe he thought about it alot at the hospital. You should just be there for him more lately. Maybe ask him to go somewhere that you guys have gone to before and had a great time. Like a road trip but not one.. you know? Bring back good times!

[silent epidemic]

true .. i've thought about that. but at the same time, he recently told me he's tired of seeing me, cause we see eachother in school a lot now. so i'm trying to kind of give him his space, but at the same time i wanna save our relationship you know? i was planning on asking him out on a date like next week or something though .. hah.

[OhMyAnniee]

You could plan a party for him. And invite all his friends to surprise him and stuff. And then you could invite like a few of your friends to hang out with so that he'll have fun with his friends.

[silent epidemic]

well i would .. he doesn't have many friends though .. and yesterday he was jumping off the walls with excitement because some girl called him sexy and it was a girl he had thought was pretty. i mean, i guess he tells me that because we ARE still best friends but i thought that was a little much..? i`enno.. all i know is that i need to save this relationship somehow. that was a good idea but it wouldn't work hah ..

[pinayprincess]

you dont need a party, all you need is to talk and get his feelings straight with him... dont demand but just get the truth out of him.

[silent epidemic]

he says he's confused. like .. he knows he loves me .. but he just doesn't feel like he does. we've talked about it.. maybe it's just gotten to the point where we're too comfortable with eachother now? i`enno. how do you spice up a relationship .. make it more exciting? i need to try something different.

[*Uronacid*]

You guys just sound like you need to sit down and sort out how you really feel about eachother... I mean... If he doesn't want to date you, would you be angery?

Hmmm... what's his deffinition of love...

I don't know... maybe you sould just leave him alone until he figures out how he feels about you...

[silent epidemic]

no he's told me he definitely does not want to break up. he says maybe the hospital changed his thinking or something. he says he knows he still loves me .. and he still says it a lot. he's not the kind of guy who falls in love all the time. when he falls in love, it's the real deal. i've been giving him his space. i've been hanging out with my friends more and seeing him less, because he did say he might feel that way cause he just sees too much of me now in school? but then every now & then he says something about me going out & gets upset saying things like how come you never wanna spend that kind of time with me like that.

[*Uronacid*]

Man, maybe he jsut needs you to tell him he's being stupid. Sometimes I know I'm being stupid, and I jsut need Holly to take over and literally tell me I'm crazy and that she loves me hell I think we all need that once and a while.

[loveTWOhateTWO]

no he's told me he definitely does not want to break up. he says maybe the hospital changed his thinking or something. he says he knows he still loves me .. and he still says it a lot. he's not the kind of guy who falls in love all the time. when he falls in love, it's the real deal. i've been giving him his space. i've been hanging out with my friends more and seeing him less, because he did say he might feel that way cause he just sees too much of me now in school? but then every now & then he says something about me going out & gets upset saying things like how come you never wanna spend that kind of time with me like that.

just spend more time with him. if you're looking to "spice up your relationship" then why are you spending LESS time with him?

[*My Cinderella.*]

I definately think it's best to just continue on and spend more time with him. This isn't really the best time to give him space.

[AngelinaTaylor]

I think you need a break. No offense, but I see no potential future in your relationship as long as he keeps "jumping off the walls" when a "pretty" girl calls him sexy; plus the fact that he even tells you these things is strange. And what's with the whole "I know I love you, I just don't feel it" bit?

It's obvious that he's not very interested in you. I think he cares about you more like a friend. He needs to think about what he wants, and the best way to do that is to give each other a little space. A break works. Most of the time anyway.

[silent epidemic]

well, he IS my best friend, as he's not very confident when it comes to his looks. so i sort of understand that part. he keeps saying "if we get married.." and he likes to talk about our future. the reason i'm spending less time with him is because he says he sees me too much, so how is continuing to see him more going to work? i don't know .. he just confuses me. cause then he'll say why don't you wanna spend time with me like that. w're just so used to each other, so comfortable since weve been best friends for 3 years that yearh, i wanna spice things up ahaha. i don't know, i told him we might just need to take a break .. and he absolutely does not want that. he knows he still wants to be with me .. he said he just set me aside because he's comfortable knowing i'll be there for him and he's got a LOT of bad things happening lately so he needs to worry about those things. maybe because of that he doesn't feel like he loves me because he's more focused on the bad things going on right now? he says he sees me too much, i give him time. then complains when i go out with a friend saying i don't wanna spend time with him like that...

uhh, geez. i talk too much. but maaan ..

[***Lucy**]

Oh, dear I'm so sorry I can't give u good advice. i'M NOT THE BEST ADVISOR AND I THINK YOUR PROBLEM IS IMPORANT SO I WON'T START TELLING AND SUGGESTING THINGS i'M NOT SURE ABOUT
Anyway, I hope u get back with your boyfriend and everything is ok.

[*Uronacid*]

Do you guys spend time together doing friend things? Why don't you try hanging out with eachothers friends? Maybe you two are spending to much time alone. You guys should try doing some different things and invite some friends. How about going...

- out to eat.
- white water rafting
- hiking.
- on a whale watch.
- to a concert.
- to a party.
- dancing at a club.
- to play paintball or laser tag.
- to a game night with some friends (board games).
- kyaking

Whatever you do, don't resort to sex.

[shinysparkle3]

do new things.

spark a new interest.

[silent epidemic]

okey so i'm definitely going to take you people's advice. i asked him out on a date for this saturday and he's so excited about it ahaha. but uhh yeah, my problem isss i don't know exactly what to plan. i'm gonna go take him to see that new texas chain saw massacre thing, and maybe i'll take him bowling (he always wants to go but it's too expensive haha) & take him out to dinner? we don't spend ANY time alone anymore, i only see him in school now. so yeah i`enno. i wanna go bungee jumping with him .. but i don't know where to go for that =[ things are going up & down for us right now, i'm hoping this saturday will calm down the waves. haha.. thank you everyone for replying.

anyone else have any advice or something? ha .. he doesn't say "i love you" as much anymore. i noticed that .. we did just get into an arguement and we didn't talk for a day ha but still =[