parents fighting. Options

[alysaphobia]

my parents screamed at each other today.
at like, 11PM. my dad came back late from drinking some (not drunk... but yeah, drinking a little anyways) and they had an argument which ended up as a screaming fest which i could hear all the way downstairs in my room, door shut. it ended up with my dad storming out the house, slamming the door and driving off to god knows where.

not only does them screaming at each other scare me, especially when i hear things being thrown around, presumably at each other, but it completely stresses me out. i hate it. this has happened a few times before.


i know everybody's parents fight, but how do you deal? this is too loud.

[*This Confession*]

believe me, my parents were 29384938 times worse.

It got as far as my mother breaking a pool stick across my dad's back, my dad breaking a 2000$ laptop over his knee and then my mom going to jail.


[i dislike my mother]

I found it amussing but yea, I ended up threatening to call the cops and my mother tackled my dad on to the ground so I called them and my mom got put in jail for assult infront of a minor.


Mostly I tell them they need to quit and put myself in the middle of it. If it comes to something stupid I leave my opinion to myself unless they really need to know it. Tell them what you think about their stupid fighting because more than likely its over something pointless.

[raenbow*]

depending on ur parents, you could suggest counseling. my mother would never ever go for that (shes the main reason my parents fight). i just deal w/ it by enjoying life with my friends, my siblings, and my dad. im sorta used to them fighting so it doesnt bother me. my dog gets scared so i just play music in my room and do work or play w/ my dog. if you like jogging you might wanna go out for a run? if its really serious you could stay around incase something happens... not to be pessimistic or anything

[blacknailpolish]

I know exactly how all of you feel...and I really can't take anymore of this. I'm probably going to end up running away, but that's just how I deal.
If things aren't too bad, I can usually get by as long as I have my friends close by, not to mention my bf, whos been there with me whenever I just need to get out of there or when I needed to vent or just whenever. I'm the main reason they fight, anyway, so when I leave, things actually get better, and I'm not exagggerating.

You guys could try a counselor I guess...? That wouldn't work for me, so I'm not saying that would be the cure or anything. I dunno, I can't really help you there being in a similar situation myself...

[OhMyAnniee]

the next time it happens, walk right in front of them and out of the house. don't say anything. just go outside, shut the door, and sit there or look at the sky. they'll know immediately something's wrong.

[blacknailpolish]

^...not if they're anything like my parents...


I'll stop complaining now, this isnt even my topic.

[*Uronacid*]

Erf... really there isn't much you can do except tell them how you feel about it. Tell them that it's effecting you. It may be a good idea to sit down with both of them and tell them both how you feel when they aren't in the middle of a fight. The best thing you could do is goto a few counseling sessions with them. Alot of times people get so mad at eachother and people get so built up with anger that they can't work things out on their own. It's almost like they need a third party to help them fight fair with eachother so that they can work things out. Even though counceling is a real bitch sometimes. alot of people really do need it.

[*Zatanna*]

I'll stop complaining now, this isnt even my topic.

No worries. The topic starter asked how everyone deals. :)

I never met my father so I don't have experience with being the one listening to the screaming.

I do have some experience being someone involved or taking part in the screaming.

My mom is a screamer. It doesn't matter what time of day it is, she screams. I don't think she's capable of talking at a relatively normal volume. I hated it growing up. I actually had a friend come out and sound proof my room when I was 16 because it drove me so crazy. That didn't work because she would just open the door and scream, almost as if she wanted me to hear it. It came to a point where we actually became physical with one another because I was so angry.

To this day, when someone raises their voice, it makes my blood boil.

So you'd think I would never scream because I hate it so much, right? Well, unfortunately that hasn't happened. Fast forward to the present: Due to circumstances that are just out of my control, I'm leaving with my mother again. I could list out the reasons but I do not wish to bore anyone more than I have to and some of it is just too personal.

Well, I'm here now, with my mom and my little boy. My mom and I have an emotionally violent relationship and when she gets going, I swear I can't help myself. I'll let her go off for a few minutes (I swear she doesn't even stop to breathe) then I explode. I promised myself I would never raise my voice in front of my little boy. Ever. I just don't want him to be like me and part of the reason I am how I am (certain negative aspects) is because I was screamed at or had to hear screaming so often when I was young. It really does become a vicious cycle.

My point is, nip this in the bud. Of course, you have to consider whether or not this is a regular or seldom occurence. People argue and sometimes they raise their voices at each other. If this is something happening a lot and is continually upsetting you, then say something. Say it sooner than later.

[Mizz1Exquisite]

Oh just ignore it i mean my parents argue every day and fight ever week so i am used to it by now really just if they fight stop it but you should not do that to your mother because she is not a 100% guilty your father has some of it to so all you gotta do is blast music in your head and the fight will go b really fast but i must tell yu your story was amusing poolstick honestly you have to tell someone about this its not good to be growing up in such an enviroment.It sucks.

[Synthetic.Love]

Ugh. This never gets easy.

I usually just try to get out of the house. Go to a friend's, or my sister's. If that's not an option, I just try to ignore it the best I can. I start blasting loud music and sit down and write. That's how I get through it when it happens.