what do i do? |
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 Sep 9 2006, 10:34 PM
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#1
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 Im a BAMF...what now?!  Group: Member Posts: 34 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 452,460  |
My boyfriend wont let me be the girl in our relationship. He always wants me to be the one to hold him, and he likes to cuddle more than I do. I really love him, and almost everything about him except this. How do I get him to let me be the sensitive needy one and he be the "guy"?
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Sep 10 2006, 02:53 AM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Posts: 8,274 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,001 |
wait ... you're guy and he's a guy.
so, you're gay? |
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| *This Confession* |
Sep 10 2006, 04:41 AM
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#3
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Guest |
^You know dear, I was thinking the same thing.
But yea this could even happen in a normal relationship. And since I don't know what gender you are. I'm going to tell you something pretty borderline and overused. You need to talk to him, he won't ever know how you feel until you talk to him. Just tell him that you in a relationship and relationships are 50/50 and you want to take turns and trading roles in the relationship. In lamest terms, tell him like it is. |
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Sep 10 2006, 05:08 AM
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#4
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 oh baby! Group: Member Posts: 210 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 404,785 |
Well, her username is "Miss Murder" so I assume your a girl. And about the situation, let him know how you feel.
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Sep 10 2006, 06:10 AM
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#5
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 I know you're gonna save me Group: Member Posts: 295 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 447,431 |
I think you should just start acting like the girl more when you see him. Tell him about your problems too and want to be cuddled more if thats what you truly want.
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| *This Confession* |
Sep 10 2006, 06:24 AM
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#6
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Well by her little avatar shes a guy to us.
=X Just kidding of course. Like I said in the other post, Act more like a girlfriend instead of the support system all the time. |
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Sep 10 2006, 10:14 PM
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#7
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Im a BAMF...what now?! Group: Member Posts: 34 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 452,460 |
i am a girl .lol.
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Sep 10 2006, 11:05 PM
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#8
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 |
tell him what's bothering you
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Sep 11 2006, 09:15 AM
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#9
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 Name: Keisha :] Group: Member Posts: 142 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 457,727 |
Well if he's the silly kind of guy who likes to joke around, maybe you can start teasing him. If he leans on you and stuff, slightly push him off and laugh. Then YOU lean on him, and he might start liking it. Perhaps that'll work. If not, then follow everyone else's advices and talk to him!
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| *Uronacid* |
Sep 11 2006, 09:48 AM
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#10
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I like to cuddle to, but I don't because I feel like I'm the guy and I can't do that... >.>
Girl, you need to tell him how you feel, talk about it, and come to a compromise. Many people feel as if they shouldn't have to explain to their partner what they want. THIS IS A FALICY. People don't have telekinesis. They CANNOT read minds. If you keep letting your boyfriend cuddle up with you, you keep being the "guy" in your relationship, you will go nowhere. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT. Next time he does it tell him, "Look, I don't mind if you cuddle up against me once in a while, but I need to cuddle up against you once in a while. It's not fair that I'm always doing this. I want to feel your arms around me. I feel like I'm always doing this for you. I feel like you should be doing this for me just as much as I do it for you. I feel very strongly about this. I feel like it's a problem, but I want you to know that I'm not angery. I feel that this is one of my needs, and I'm thankful that you have helped me to learn this about myself. I am willing to compromise. I don't mind cuddling with you, but we, at least, need to take turns." |
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Sep 24 2006, 12:49 PM
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#11
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 Trinie loves you Group: Member Posts: 1,003 Joined: Sep 2006 Member No: 464,831 |
you should talk to him and tell him how you feel.
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Sep 24 2006, 12:57 PM
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#12
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 11 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 428,861 |
QUOTE(Uronacid @ Sep 11 2006, 2:48 PM)  I like to cuddle to, but I don't because I feel like I'm the guy and I can't do that... >.> Girl, you need to tell him how you feel, talk about it, and come to a compromise. Many people feel as if they shouldn't have to explain to their partner what they want. THIS IS A FALICY. People don't have telekinesis. They CANNOT read minds. If you keep letting your boyfriend cuddle up with you, you keep being the "guy" in your relationship, you will go nowhere. YOU NEED TO TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT. Next time he does it tell him, "Look, I don't mind if you cuddle up against me once in a while, but I need to cuddle up against you once in a while. It's not fair that I'm always doing this. I want to feel your arms around me. I feel like I'm always doing this for you. I feel like you should be doing this for me just as much as I do it for you. I feel very strongly about this. I feel like it's a problem, but I want you to know that I'm not angery. I feel that this is one of my needs, and I'm thankful that you have helped me to learn this about myself. I am willing to compromise. I don't mind cuddling with you, but we, at least, need to take turns." totally agreed.  talk to him, he'll understand. But you're kinda lucky i know boys that hate cuddling and wouldn't cuddle or put their arms around you. |
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