When a child is compared to another.... Options

[jue]

OMG. yes. They do it all the times. Like "Jue, Why can't you be like Frankie and take care of your brother all the time?" "Jue, Why can't you be like Deni and come home everyday after school and never hang out?" "Jue, Why can't you asodhasiodhsoahdnkaldhskablahblahblahhh.." Never stops.

[femmefatale4160]

I HATE that. Stuff like that can traumatize a kid and put him/her into serious depression. That's just bad parenting.

[demolished]

In my honest opinion, I dont believe comparing your child to another is a good way to "motivate" them. To me they're putting them down. My mom did that to me all the time when I was still in school. I would bust my ass in school yet I can never make here happy.

No, no, no.

It's not about your parent. It's about you. Yes, it's you! It's up to you whether you want to be improved. A lot of children took it as a discouragement because they think "negatively" and bad about their parents, but you know what? You can be better than yourself. It doesn't matter what your parent think of you. As long, they support you in some ways.


This is a real world. You will have to face the obstacle. Something good will come out of it.

[maguti]

I did, and I still am compared to other people today. My parents would always compare me to my cousins. I hated it. But it's funny when my parents (especially my mom) would be with other parents she would find ways to "brag" about me. pffft, parentals.

[*yrrnotelekktric*]

i didnt/dont have a problem with this at home, but i really know what you mean since my aunts and uncles do it to their own children and it does get annoying.

[Gypsy Eyes]

Please stop posting duplicate topics. Search before you post a topic.

http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=59293

[Mistress Bags]

I posted one duplicate topic, not several. I did search, I just must have not typed in the right words.

Staff members really should be a little friendlier....

/EDIT/
Sorry for coming across as rude, as I explained and apologized for in the PM.

[doom_diver]

Spiritual Winged Aura:

May the holy spirits bless you
Rating = A+ citizen

[dinoooRAWR]

It's like making the child feel like their parents aren't satisfied with them.

exactly. my mom doesnt do that.
my dad does though /=
not with grades;height.

' why dont you drink a lot of milk like benjamin {stepbrother} ' blahblah. geeez i hate it >=[

[xforgottenlove]

ahh my parents always compare me to this girl who's younger than me ;; basically how pretty she is, how smart she is, how outgoing she is, how tall she is, and basically how perfect she is -___-' ahh it drives me crazy ><

[demolished]

Spiritual Winged Aura:

May the holy spirits bless you
Rating = A+ citizen

[doork]

Yup.. My mom and dad does that with me all the time. My parents are strict. They ALWAYS wants the best and if I can`t do it then they`ll start the comparison.. mostly about grades and chores. To this day.. they still do that.. my parents are VERY competetive and yeah.. but I`m used to it.

[juliar]

i think my mom tries not to do that, but once in a while she does it. she mentions that so and so gets great grades and never goes on the computer and all that, and even though she never says "why can't you be more like her?", i know that's what she means. but when i tell her to stop comparing me, she denies that she did, which i hate.

but this kid i know who went to my elementary school hates my guts, and i think it's because his mother always compared him to me.

[*Zatanna*]

I've dealt with it growing up and I'm still dealing with it at age 30. My younger brother was somewhat of a prodigy. He stayed with the religion (everyone for generations has been (and still is) Mormon). I'm agnostic. So of course, many of my real life troubles are due to the fact that I have no faith. My brother also graduated from college when he was 21. I'm a junior college drop out, having decided to work full time and raise my child on my own. I am the only one in my family (including extended family) of legal consent that isn't married (nor has ever been married).

I am repeatedly reminded of what a success I could be should I follow in my brother's footsteps. It's a source of much contention and my mom and I will never be close in part, because of this constant comparison.

Look - life hands everyone a different hand of cards. I've done what I can with my life and I am doing everything I can to take care of my child. That is my priority, not measuring up to anyone else. Period.

One day my mother will understand this. If not, her loss. Not mine.