Big problem.. so confused.. please help.... Options

[sheilac0825]

Sorry that it's a long story.

Well I met a guy in the club in H.K. at 24/8 night. I'm 17 n he's 18. He studied in UK Bristol, n now he's staying here for summer holiday. We fancied each other, I think it's like love at first sight or what. cuz he's really hot. he's been so sweet to me all the night. yes we did kiss each other n sth like that. n then when i left he asked me to give him my phone no.. well i just cant stop thinking abt him all the night.

then 25/8 was my bday (he knew that), he dated me out for dinner with his frens, he was really sweet that he wrote me a birthday card! We just liked the little couple.I like him lot.
after dinner we went to the bar, but unfortunately, we drunk n we had sex... though I didn't reject him at that time.but now when i think abt this, i felt i was so stupid n cheap..

then my bad dream came, at first i thought we'll be together n became couple. I phoned him the other morning, but then, he didnt answer my call. Even i text him, he never replies.
He called me back at night n gave so many excuses to explain y he didnt answer my call.

26/8 was like that
27/8 he kept ignoring me
28/8 also

he hurted me so bad, I cried. it's just because this is my first time n I'm still a virgin. I was just like a stupid girl.calling him everyday n he never answers..
I feel he dumped me and I was really hurt... I just want to see him again..

n today, 29/8
Finally we came out for dinner again, this time he changed a lot. he didnt held my hands when he saw me. he's so cool n we got nth to say, which is really embarrassing.

we went to the park.n i wanted him to tell me WHAT'S GOING ON these few days.
i had argued with him for a long time. i said i'll wait him. becuz i really like him..

then he told me that it's all becuz he had to go back to Bristol at 5, Sept.
and next time when he comes back it is X'mas holiday.
he don't think our love will last.. so he chose not to answer my call.
he wants us to stay friends.
he said it's better for us to be friends. it'll be more comfortable.
he said: " Look at urself, I didnt care u for a few days in HK, then u was like this,
how abt when i go back to UK? i wont have much time to call u everyday.
it's better if we stay friends now. If we still like each other when i come back at X'mas, we'll be together, OK? "


Sigh, at last i agreed with him..n he seemed relief
he promised me that he wont ignore my call anymore.
actually i thought he's irresponsible.. but what can i do?
I dont want to give up our relationship..
but i dont want myself being so annoying...
i just don't know what to do.......
can u guys help...

[shinysparkle3]

you say you had sex but then you say you're still a virgin?

[AngelinaTaylor]

And I guess you want a more sophisticated answer than "he did it to get you into bed"? Forget him.

[sakaitone]

Long Distance relationships are diffcult to maintain. Even if you don't want to give up this relationship, you should give him space. If he really likes you, then he'll let you know but maybe to him you might be just a fling.

[sheilac0825]

you say you had sex but then you say you're still a virgin?

no i mean this is my first time n before that i was still a virgin
sorry for my poor english

And I guess you want a more sophisticated answer than "he did it to get you into bed"? Forget him.

sigh i know i'm kind of stupid but i just can't force myself not to think abt him..
n he felt so sorry today too...

[*This Confession*]

Just remain friends with him, if you really want something from him. He sounds a little like those typical guys that people stick on guys the ones that just sleep with you and thats it. Your done.

Just keep talking to him and stay friends and don't push him in to being in a relationship with you or something like that..

It takes time, suppose its probably is better to stay friends until you see him again as well.

Think of the brighter side.

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

wow you lost your virginity to a HUGE loser. how long have you even known this guy? im sorry if you want me to sympathize with you but i really dont. girl you are 17 YEARS OLD. have you talked to your friends about guys who only want one thing are not the guys that are worth it? did you think that after having sex with him things would remain the same? not all guys remain the same. and its a huge RED FLAG that he doesnt want anything to do with you ESPECIALLY if he doesnt call you in such a long time.

pardon me for my rudness but i will be frank and absolutely honest with you. he just wanted to have sex and you gave to him wat he wanted so now he wants to forget that he ever met you by using the lame excuse that he was to go back to the UK and he wants to remain friends. if hes here right now and hes not even CALLING YOU what makes you sooo sure hes going to even call you back when he is in the UK? if people truley LOVE each other distance is not a problem, i know many people who have long distance realtionships and it works.

you need to value yourself more and dont have sex with a guy who says things that you want to hear. a realtionship is not all about sex and if it is then there is really nothing there for the both of you and if you think it works like that you have the wrong concept of wat true love is.

my big advice is just go out with a guy who actually respects you and values you as a person not how much sex you can give him before he leaves to the \"UK\".

GOODLUCK!!!!!

[blacknailpolish]

I think it's like love at first sight or what. cuz he's really hot.

Oh, yeah, I can tell your madly in love. Really, you should have had much better sense than that, surely your not that dumb! I totally agree with iROCKYOURSOCKS, did you really think that things would be the same after you slept with a guy THE DAY AFTER YOU MET???

You need to stop being so pathetic. You're willing to wait for this guy and kid yourself until Christmas? You think that this guy will come back to you after only two nights together? The reality is, you were basically a one night stand to this scum of a guy. Your best bet would be to foget all about those TWO days you spent with your "dream man"

[AngelinaTaylor]

sigh i know i'm kind of stupid but i just can't force myself not to think abt him..
n he felt so sorry today too...

Oh please, the whole "sorry" excuse is just plain stupid. Forget his ass, he's not worth it. He's not the only guy you'll like.

[vn_cuti3]

wow i can't believe that you would just give it up for a player .most of the guys you find in the club are all fake they'll do whatever they can to get whatever they want and then just leave after they get it . i guess you can just remain friend with him and if he really does care about you then hopefully you guys will get back together in christmas but if he doesn't and things change then i'm really sorry but you can't blame him for anything (i'm not saying that you are) but still i just hope that you would be more smart about these stuff in the future. and i hope you would find better guys then HIM SUCH A LOSER!!!!

[imm]

Guys guys stop being so harsh. We all have to understand that virginity is a special thing to some and rude words mentioning the word "pathetic" isn't the way to go. Obviously this chica did something totally stupid and uncalled for and it's extremely hard to empathise/sympathise with her, but she already acknowledged the fact that she did something wrong so there's no need to rub it in her face.

I'd been in a similar situation not too long ago, but to a different extent. Unfortunately but obviously that was one of my follies and it hurt to basically the point of no return. It takes a lot of time and thinking on your own to heal, speaking from personal experience. At the moment it'll seem like there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but believe me, there is. Just do whatever you need to do to calm down, then you'll come to ponder about it sooner or later. The assistance of friends and loved chicas is soooo precious, even though admitting the situation can be embarassing and tough. I truly hope everything works out for you and just remember whatever you've learned. =)

[sheilac0825]

Just remain friends with him, if you really want something from him. He sounds a little like those typical guys that people stick on guys the ones that just sleep with you and thats it. Your done.

Just keep talking to him and stay friends and don't push him in to being in a relationship with you or something like that..

It takes time, suppose its probably is better to stay friends until you see him again as well.

Think of the brighter side.

oh really thanks for all of you guys! all of ur words comfort me lots, really=P
Though this is hurt... but I hope I can quickly get over it
I now realise that staying friends with him is the better choice, if we're together, his personality will kill me! Sigh... I'll never trust someone that easy anymore, and LOVE at first sight is just too silly, yeah there's no love at first sight, that's LUST!!! hope I can meet a better guy n not to think abt him again
AHHH that's what i said but truly im still hoping to see him again.. it's hard to get through.. im too naive

[iROCKYOURSOCKS]

oh really thanks for all of you guys! all of ur words comfort me lots, really=P
Though this is hurt... but I hope I can quickly get over it
I now realise that staying friends with him is the better choice, if we\'re together, his personality will kill me! Sigh... I\'ll never trust someone that easy anymore, and LOVE at first sight is just too silly, yeah there\'s no love at first sight, that\'s LUST!!! hope I can meet a better guy n not to think abt him again
AHHH that\'s what i said but truly im still hoping to see him again.. it\'s hard to get through.. im too naive

uhm let me get this straight...so you give your heart to this guy that you fell in love with in a club and known him for 2 days and he gets you in bed and you lose your virginity, you call him up and he doesnt call you back.....he then tells you he doesnt want anything to do with you realtionship wise because hes going back to UK and you STILL want to be friends with him? wow your a really nice person you will forgive anything!!!!!! gurl your making it truly seem like you have been with this guy forever.....he does not deserve for you to be missing him or caring about him.

[seremela_culnamo]

First things first - you guys met at a c-l-u-b. It's like the worst place ever if you are looking for romance or anything like that. People say it all the time and when I thought about it, the statement is so true [I don't go clubbing]. Sure, there may have been incidents when two married couples met there, but the chances are very slim. Even if that does happen, love won't go viola! and arrive at their doorstep the next morning that they wake up! Love is patient and if two people start hooking up right at the start and don't mind showing PDA, then it's obvious it's not meant to be. After all, they don't know who each another is.

Another thing is the fact that he's just staying there for the summer. I don't know who this guy is and whether or not he's a nice guy, but the chances of him just finding a summer time fling is highly possible. He knows he's going to leave anyway so why not just have some fun and then drop whoever he finds like a potato once he's gone?

I'm sorry that I sound really rude, but I'm just using common sense. Most guys tend to be jerks and would use you. A guy actually told me that guys like it when girls show signs of weakness 'cause when they do, they abuse it. Even he admitted that guys are jerks and once they see that a girl is falling head over heels for them, it makes them feel superior and such. & I know that for a fact 'cause I was given false hope for 9 months with a guy that became really good friends with me within less than a week. We weren't dating, but he knew that I really liked him, and he abused it. How did it end? He goes online the day before the last day of school [we graduated this year], and shows a picture of him and his girlfriend eating each another's face out. I have never felt so emotionally hurt and wanting him to just go straight to hell. So did a lot of people apparently, and not just because of me.

So girl, even though he knows about your weakness towards him, don't let him get too you. It sucks to make the wrong decision to the extent to lose your virginity, but people make mistakes. You will only become stronger through this and more maturity, then you can shine and show the world that nobody can knock you down anymore =]