fear of the unknown Options

[scottss7]

so basically i met this girl 3 months before summer, i spent the rest of those weeks getting to know her and getting a truly strong liking for her because she was unlike any of the other typical high school students. so we eventually liked eachother mutually but she was afraid of letting me make any moves (ie one night as i was leaving her house, i went for a kiss, and she quickly said no and kissed me on the cheek) she eventually ended up doing some things and "liking" another guy at the same time. and through this entire endeavor i realized she still wasnt completely over her ex and i came to the conclusion that she didnt want to be serious with me because old feelings hadn't been set to rest. so then came the lies which really took a toll on me and i told her i couldnt talk to her for a month because it was too painful( this is at the beginning of summer) so the entire summer goes by, we talk on different drunken occasions never meeting any resolve. this month that went by turned into the entire summer and we didnt hangout or any such thing. i find out now that she ended up running back to her old boyfriend over the summer. but then out of the blue just a few weeks into school she talks to me saying how she misses me and wishes we could be friends even though she thinks she doesnt deserve it (she led me on and other things). so me being over the situation and finally over her ( took most of the summer) i took a risk and decided to talk to her and everything went as well as i could've hoped. and now its as if we those three months in which we didnt talk hadnt even happened and when we hangout its as if we're back three months ago. it only took one time of being together again for my feelings to come back. even though i've already promised myself i wouldnt like her again to avoid any pain. and when we hangout i sense flirtation and such. and it seems when we talk about what happened (the things that made me have to cut her off from my life) she tries to justify it. and she says shes a changed person now not interested in alchohol (the fuel to her one night hookups) so i just wonder if its worth the risk to tell her i like her again because of my great fear of rejection and i dont want to say that and lose her as a friend because she's one of the only girls who i can relate to.