"A swing in the right direction", Skt's awful poetry. Options

[skt]

Three steps behind, four steps foward
follow the simple pattern, sheep to my lamb
we'll follow these directions until the light
and when within the lights range run like scared children
who've scrapped their knees, i hate thinking so gruesome
but it's my own mortality you have dangling between your legs
that even i get so wrapped up in the persuit of it that i can't feel
god what it'd be like to feel again, would you touch my face to remind me?
shoot me and i swear i'll stand before you an unharmed man
who's mind has allowed the body to believe that nothing he touches can hurt
and nothing who touches him shall scar, it's a sad existance really
without the feel, the brightness, the call of emotion what are we really?

so i follow 3 steps behind, all this way
and you give me a dotted line to tug along behind
and i'd grab the angles of your face if they would stop seeming so unhinged
your body, misproportioned in almost an uncanny scrapped artist way
i found you mangled i brought you to life, and here i was giving up mine
what a pleasant way to die, sipping wine from your neck
hollowed eyes for glass holders, and dine upon your flesh like cadviar

[femmefatale4160]

That's not awful at all, and you know it. I really liked it. A lot.

[skt]

I'm really really harsh on myself
Everyone is, but I'm pretty bad.
I have a ton more, that actually are kind of old.
(A year)
But, don't wanna flood the board with such things.

[femmefatale4160]

Well, this one was pretty good, in my opinion. It's okay to be a little bit more lenient (sp?) you know.

[skt]

I just need to lighten up!

[femmefatale4160]

That's pretty much what I said. I'd love to read another of your poems, if you don't mind posting them.