My friend could be gay..., what should i do |
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 Aug 13 2006, 11:51 PM
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#1
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 Selv  Group: Member Posts: 259 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 449,755  |
I have a guy friend who i like hanging out with, but when ever im around him he hugs em and is like ooh baby. At first i thought he was just joking but now he does it evrytime and i cant tell if hes gay and hasn't come out yet or if hes joking. I wanna tell him to stop but i don't know how... What should i do?
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Aug 14 2006, 12:04 AM
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#2
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 1,388 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 4,129 |
you could say stuff like "dude thats so gay" just to hint it out like a joke.. but if he doesn't say anything then wait for him to tell you instead of you putting pressure on him.
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| *This Confession* |
Aug 14 2006, 12:04 AM
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#3
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Guest |
You just come right out and tell him how you feel I would think. If someone is doing something to you that you don't like then don't go along with it and tell them to quit.
He perhaps could be joking. Never know til' you ask right? Don't come out in a way thats going to make him completely uncomfortable to not even hang out with you though.. |
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Aug 14 2006, 12:10 AM
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#4
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 i'll spend forever loving you. Group: Member Posts: 571 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 431,524 |
if you really think that he might be because of how he acts, you could just ask him. if he's open within the way he acts maybe he'll be open enough to tell you that he is.
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Aug 14 2006, 12:15 AM
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#5
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 What side was that Prvt Pile? Group: Member Posts: 131 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 451,960 |
If it is bugging you or uncomfortable to you then you need to tell him. And if you think he is gay just ask him and if you are ok with it tell him " Hey you know if you are gay I do not care you are my friend but I am not and I do not like when you hug me and say that stuff to me. We can still be friends but lets keep it like it always was. " and he should understand and respect your wishes just like you need to respect his way if he is and you are his friend
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Aug 14 2006, 06:42 AM
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#6
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 I know you're gonna save me Group: Member Posts: 295 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 447,431 |
QUOTE(hardxcoreL0VER @ Aug 14 2006, 1:04 AM)  you could say stuff like "dude thats so gay" just to hint it out like a joke.. but if he doesn't say anything then wait for him to tell you instead of you putting pressure on him. I agree. You don't have to be quite so serious about it when you hint or ask him. That would probably make you both a litle uncomfprtable. Just kinda be like "man stop being so gay" like a joke, and whatever he says after that should tell you what he thinks. |
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| *I Shot JFK* |
Aug 14 2006, 09:04 AM
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#7
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The way you handle it depends on whether or not you would care if you found out he is gay
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Aug 14 2006, 12:57 PM
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#8
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,881 Joined: Apr 2005 Member No: 132,134 |
Just come out and say it to him, don't wait too long, cause if he is gay and you don't say anything, he might take it as you like what he's doing and it might go farther then you'd like it too. I have a friend who likes to touch peopel and like come outta knowhere and attack them with a kiss, but he's not gay or nothing. At least I don't think he is.
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Aug 14 2006, 01:57 PM
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#9
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 show me a garden thats bursting to life Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,303 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,987 |
Just ask him if he is or not.
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Aug 14 2006, 04:42 PM
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#10
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Selv Group: Member Posts: 259 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 449,755 |
Well the problem is i am very close to him and i could tell him anything. But i don't want him to have to be uncomfortable telling me. I mean if i do ask him and he doesnt want to tell me wont he be mad?
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Aug 14 2006, 06:25 PM
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#11
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 <(- -)><(- - <)(>- -)><(- - )> Group: Member Posts: 646 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 400,609 |
QUOTE(Selv @ Aug 14 2006, 4:42 PM) Well the problem is i am very close to him and i could tell him anything. But i don't want him to have to be uncomfortable telling me. I mean if i do ask him and he doesnt want to tell me wont he be mad? well if you are so close to him then he should be able to tell you if he is gay or not. If he does not tell you anything just tell him that you wont be mad if he is gay or not but tell him that the way he like talks to you and hugs you all the time it really makes you uncomfortable. just tell him to stop. you can like jokingly say dude thats gay! you can watch his reaction really closely. |
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Aug 14 2006, 06:32 PM
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#12
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 All The Girlies Say I'm Pretty Fly For A White Guy Group: Member Posts: 1,944 Joined: May 2006 Member No: 400,858 |
You could engage in a convo about gay people and maybe hint your opinions about it. And see how he reacts. If he gets jumpy then maybe he is gay. Ask him his opinion about gay guys. Basically talk to him in an atmosphere where he is comfortable.
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Aug 14 2006, 06:37 PM
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#13
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show me a garden thats bursting to life Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 12,303 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,987 |
QUOTE(Selv @ Aug 14 2006, 4:42 PM) Well the problem is i am very close to him and i could tell him anything. But i don't want him to have to be uncomfortable telling me. I mean if i do ask him and he doesnt want to tell me wont he be mad? If you can tell him anything, then he should be able to tell you anything. Just be nice about it. And dont pressure him a lot. |
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Aug 14 2006, 07:46 PM
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#14
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 artisticpariah Group: Member Posts: 95 Joined: Aug 2006 Member No: 448,824 |
A guy who hugs another guy? hmmm could be gay... the question is not if he's gay or not, it's if you like or don't like hangin' out with him, regardless of orientation...
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| *Uronacid* |
Aug 14 2006, 08:26 PM
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#15
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OMgosh... I have a friend like this... it's much worse tho... At one piont he accually licked my nipple while he was drunk and I had just gotten out of the pool.... He asked me to get my picture taken with him, and right when they clicked the button he bet down and gave it the tounge... >.>
Well, say something to him. Tell him that you are really uncomfortable. Tell him that at first you knew he was jokeing, but now you are starting to worry. Also, tell him that if he is gay you will stil lbe his friend, but you would just rather not have him touching you all the time... |
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Aug 14 2006, 08:33 PM
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#16
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 f.a.g. Group: Member Posts: 137 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 432,847 |
He could be. Wouldn't put it pass him
When I was sort of out, I had a friend and had a crush on him, he didn't know I was gay, but I tried to drop hints. I used to hug him just like that because I did like him. Anywho, if he is gay he could be seeing some curiosity in you and is trying to test you. That's what I did to my friend, I tested him and he passed and we are both gay, well he's bi. Nothing wrong with being that. you should ask him though, if he's your friend he won't mind, and you might be amazed at the answer. |
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Aug 14 2006, 08:47 PM
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#17
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 107 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 429,806 |
If he trys to hug you stop him, if he thinks it's funny and see's that you don't he will stop, if he doesn't he isn't a very good friend. If he is gay or bisexual, give him time to come out. If he isn't ready to coem out he won't try to kiss you or anything. If and when he comes out tell him you are not interested.
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| *yrrnotelekktric* |
Aug 14 2006, 11:20 PM
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#18
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QUOTE(The E-Man @ Aug 14 2006, 3:32 PM) You could engage in a convo about gay people and maybe hint your opinions about it. And see how he reacts. If he gets jumpy then maybe he is gay. Ask him his opinion about gay guys. Basically talk to him in an atmosphere where he is comfortable. word.or it could be that maybe he isn`t read to tell people about it yet. so..i don`t really know. |
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Aug 14 2006, 11:23 PM
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#19
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 The Bone Collector Group: Member Posts: 2,860 Joined: Aug 2004 Member No: 44,162 |
Don't, don't, don't out him.
If he IS gay, he'll come out on his own terms. If you feel uncomfterable with him touching you, just tell him. |
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Aug 15 2006, 10:31 AM
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#20
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 21 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 394,579 |
Eh, I have a couple of gay friends that I allow to mess around like that.. I don't really care because I'm not homophobic or anything and because them being gay doesn't really change the way I think of them.. Again these are friends that I've had for a few years.. even before they came out.. In your case try to do it back.. in a JOKING matter and see if he backs out or anything.. Then you two can have a big laugh out of it.
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Aug 15 2006, 10:34 AM
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#21
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 I've got ADD and magic markers. Oh the thrills I will have. Group: Member Posts: 624 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 445,743 |
I agree about the joking, "Man, that's so gay." See how he reacts. And if you guys are close, tell him he's making you uncomfortable. End of problem.
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| *Uronacid* |
Aug 15 2006, 12:14 PM
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#22
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QUOTE(femme_fatale4160 @ Aug 15 2006, 11:34 AM) I agree about the joking, "Man, that's so gay." See how he reacts. And if you guys are close, tell him he's making you uncomfortable. End of problem. lol.... I can see it now You: man, that's so gay.. Friend: Yeah... I know You: Um.... I was serious... Friend: You... caught me... *awkward silence* You: So, your reallly gay... I mean... I'll still be your friend, it's like cool and all.. Friend: No I'm not gay... You: Well, I mean, I don't have a problem with it if you are Friend: I can't believe you think I'm gay... You: Well WHAT DO YOU EXPECT! You're always huggin me and shit like a little girl!! |
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Aug 16 2006, 07:16 AM
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#23
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f.a.g. Group: Member Posts: 137 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 432,847 |
QUOTE(femme_fatale4160 @ Aug 15 2006, 8:34 AM) I agree about the joking, "Man, that's so gay." See how he reacts. And if you guys are close, tell him he's making you uncomfortable. End of problem. Me too, I AGREE! This will definitely,definitely do the trick. Watch his face the moment you say it, if there is any ONE ITTY BITTY sign of irritation there, silence, or hesitation/delay of joking right back at you then he was probably a tad bit offended or reminded of himself...That's what happened when people used to do that to me. I would go from joking with them like this  to this  
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Aug 17 2006, 01:10 PM
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#24
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 SAXY kathy Group: Member Posts: 535 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 150,550 |
he'll tell you in time if he really were. my friend waited until he trusted me enough to let me know and i respect that. you can't just "out" them in front of everyone so just respect his privacy until then.
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Aug 19 2006, 09:16 PM
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#25
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 70 Joined: Aug 2005 Member No: 204,848 |
don't say to him "hey that is so gay". that makes you sound homophobic
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