Big Age Difference, real big Options

[danginja]

Wow me posting in here wow..

Anyways. I have this friend and she is going out with this guy. They have been going out for a year and on the outside they seem ok. There is a real big age difference though. This guy is 30 and she is 16. The guy still lives at home and works at target. The girl goes to high school and does the normal 16 year old stuff. He constantly tells her off and beats her mentally/physcially. He goes off telling her he is not her boyfriend anymore one day and then next day he comes over like nothing happened. She cannot leave him because she really loves him and she can't see leaving him. I try to help her and tell her to leave him constantly she will not listen to reason though. What do you think I should do to help? What would you do in her position?

[*xcaitlinx*]

do her parents know about this? he's old enough to be her father! that's disgusting. since you said that he mentally and physically abuses her, the best thing to do is to get help for her. even though she may believe that she really loves this guy, he's obviously no good. you don't want things to get worse. she's a 16-year-old girl and should be able to do teenager things without this dirtbag yelling at her.

[marzipan]

^ yeah, do her parents know about this?

that's just not right....a 16 year old dating a 30 year old? she may say she loves him because she's scared of what he'll do to her if she wants to break up with him. since he's abusing her, maybe she's too scared to leave.

[danginja]

do her parents know about this? he's old enough to be her father! that's disgusting. since you said that he mentally and physically abuses her, the best thing to do is to get help for her. even though she may believe that she really loves this guy, he's obviously no good. you don't want things to get worse. she's a 16-year-old girl and should be able to do teenager things without this dirtbag yelling at her.

^ yeah, do her parents know about this?

that's just not right....a 16 year old dating a 30 year old? she may say she loves him because she's scared of what he'll do to her if she wants to break up with him. since he's abusing her, maybe she's too scared to leave.

I believe her parents know because he visits her house occasionally. I think she lied to them though about his age because he looks like a 20 year old and she constantly tells others that he is a younger age. Yeah my last resort is to seek help most likely even though she'll hate me for it.

[*shannonx1*]

^yeah i agree with marzipan

if i were in her position, i'd be afraid to leave him for what he might do to me; because he's been abusing her. that's not right.

she shouldn't hate you for seeking help... because it'll help. she might be upset but she shouldn't hate you for it...

[danginja]

Yeah your right she won't "hate" me because I'm helping her but she has been going out with this guy for a year and she believes in this illusion of love. I would kinda hate someone if they split me and someone apart if I loved them for a long time.

[*Uronacid*]

Um... well, if you want you could tell her parents. I mean you might loose her friendship, but you would really be doing her a big favor. If the opportunity cost is to great I think that you should just keep talking to her and trying to convince her that he doesn't really love her.

just ike marzipan said, she may be scared to leave him... if that's the case then ask her. If you have a good understanding of what people do when they are inlove you could also try to convinced her otherwise.

[AngelinaTaylor]

Lock her at home for life and tell her parents. I can't believe anyone's dumb enough not to see what a mistake this is. Why can't she realize how naive she's being? A 30 year old MAN, who is abusing her? That's ridiculous. She doesn't love him. Please please do everything possible because this could end up pretty bad. Tell her parents immediately.

[*Kathleen*]

If he beats her and whatnot, can't he get arrested if you call the cops on him?

[*Uronacid*]

Lock her at home for life and tell her parents. I can't believe anyone's dumb enough not to see what a mistake this is. Why can't she realize how naive she's being? A 30 year old MAN, who is abusing her? That's ridiculous. She doesn't love him. Please please do everything possible because this could end up pretty bad. Tell her parents immediately.

I AGREE WITH YOU!!!

[femmefatale4160]

This is serious, man. You need to tell her parents and possibly involve the police. If they've been going out for a year and she's 16 now, that makes her a child abuse victim. This guy needs to be locked up. He's scum. Tell her parents first, though.

[PrincessAda]

Woah..tell someone..tell an adult or something..someone you trust..like your mom or something.Thats serious.Child abuse..actually call the cops.

[*Freaky Krazer*]

wtf she better not think she's in love. How is getting beaten love? She'd rather stay with him, get hurt in the inside AND outside then leave him, cope for a while, and move on to find someone better?

stupidasses

[pinayprincess]

that happened to my ex-bestfriend... explains why theres the "ex" in "bestfriend" ... we dont talk anymore b/c of her f**king boyfriend... i f**king hate him and if this ever were to happen again? i'd kill him myself personally.. .. if the problem is her always running back then let her suffer.. she'll learn her mistake all by herself

i have the hint if that if she leaves her boyfriend, she will get beat up... if anything call the police to send his asss in jail; for sure he'll be guilty

[nyctophiliac]

wow that's so scary
like other people have said TELL HER PARENTS...call the cops...or both

[Gypsy Eyes]

Call the cops, don't even tell her. Just call them right away.

[Joss-eh-lime]

The guy still lives at home and works at target

for some reason this made me laugh out loud.

but then i kept reading she doesnt deserve to put up with any type of abuse, no one does. i think you should tell her parents, or a trusted adult. she may get mad but soon enough she'll thank you. that kind of relationship isnt healthy


and i wouldnt ever be in that position. seems like hes a creep. i dont like talking to guys alot older than me besides my dad anyway

[ariana8716]

girl what you need to do is notify her parents and do something about it.
she will probably hate you,but eventually she will realize it was for the best,and eventually thank you.
trust me.

[*disco infiltrator*]

Wow, that's kind of ironic. I have a good friend who is 30 and male and people keep saying that he is a pedophile for talking to me (I'm 16). Anyway.

With that big of an age difference, they shouldn't be dating in the first place. But, disregarding that, any abuse in a relationship isn't good for anyone involved. You should probably notify an adult that can do something about it; her parents, your parents, the police, a teacher - anyone.

[priyas]

thats illegal first of all. she has to be 18 to date him.

if the guy was under 25 that would have been alright. but hez an adult.

he obviously doesnt lover her if he abuses her.

tell her parents.!

[clarity]

isn't that illigeal anyways?

tell her parents, that's what i would do.

[n00b]

wow what a nut job.
He sounds like a hobo.


I would tell the police, if he beats her
tell her parents
just notify someone who can help

[*lolita kitty*]

That reminds me of this article I read in seventeen the other day. It was also about this 16 year old girl dating a 30 year old. She looked his name up online and found out that he was some sort of predator or whatever. Yes, I'm serious.

You need to have a serious sit down with your friend. That relationship could end horribly.

[danginja]

Thanks everyone for the advice I have told her parents about the situation and now I'm just waiting for them to call the cops. She was literally hitting me for doing such a thing but whatever she is safer now.

[Nymphetamine]

I'm 18 and my boyfriend is 31, I don't think the age difference is that huge a deal. The fact that he's hitting her is not acceptable. She should leave him.