Me 2005, random carant Options

[MimiXDawn]

Me 2005

Once again I find myself worried for those around me. I stop and wonder what I’m becoming. Is it some happy person who always cares? Or this sad, lonely, little girl, who refuses to leave the sanctuary of her pillow? That one I always return to. But then this other person appears! She brings with her spiders and nightmares. Death and destruction. My malfunction. It’s her eyes I see through. But when I look at you, I see through caring eyes, knowing something is wrong. I ask. But you push me away. I knew you would. You hurt yourself and you think I don’t care, I have stopped my feeble attempts at your happiness. Trying to remove you from all pain. The pain you give yourself I have no control over. Because it is you that doesn’t want to stop. Your will is stronger than mine. So, I give up. If you get yourself killed, don’t blame me. Because I’ll already be blaming myself, and hugging my pillow. Alone once more to face the world. Although that is my fear, I welcome it with open arms. Along with death, she is my friend, bringing with her the nightmares and the spiders. But then my weakness walks by out of nowhere. Past the door to my classroom. I stare as he goes by. His name is love. He doesn’t know of my weakness before him. But maybe someday he will. Until then I wait, reckon-sate. I sit here and learn what you all force into my mind. All the time I wonder, if what you are telling me is false, or truths. No one in the classroom has seen this founder face to face, so how do I know you didn’t just change history, by teaching us something wrong. So again, with love gone I welcome back in death. Everyone looks at me, as if I am crazy. Maybe. I look back at them, cocking my head, and start a slow grin. They turn away fast. At last! I found a way to stop the stares. At my blue and black hair. I fear but one thing. All of my friends to either die or leave me. Then, I’ll be alone. Maybe I’ll welcome death one last time. And instead of bringing with her nightmares and spiders, she brings her name. Her fame. I’m gone. No longer lonely, surrounded by my friends, I’m warm, and there are no more spiders in my dreams.

Um.... Don't ask. I have a lot of random ramblings that for no reason rhyme