My last... Options

[DisOriental85]

Have any one of you experienced something that I would call a "forced breakup"? I did and I just want to see how it went with others if they did. Long story...

My senior year in highschool, met this girl (junior, Marie) whom I liked. I was ok friends with her brother, and I started to hang out with her alot. During school that is... I began to hang out with her and her friends more. We always joked around saying "I love you ____" and the reply, "yeah yeah". Word got around school that I liked her... (Small school with a student population of about 400 in all) I started to fall for her badly, thinking about her, wanting to be with her so that I decided to ask her out... She rejected me twice, with reasons that she was having relationship problems with her ex, and that she was too busy, seeing as how she has a horse to take care of... I backed off, for a while, but hanging out with her more just made me want to be with her more... Monday, we come back to school and I come to find out she is dating one of the guys in our group. Me, I get hurt so I decide to leave the group for a while. Whenever I saw them in the halls holding hands and such, it made me hurt a lot. I know, jealousy and whatnot, but after about a month and a half, I felt ok to come back to the group. During the time away from the group, I hooked up with someone else, and she and I got along fine. When I got back in the group, they were still together, but I guess with me gone, she felt bad so she tried to limit PDA. A month and a half into me getting back with the group, stuff fell apart. The group was having problems, and school didn't help too much. Marie was having relationship problems and me, being the listener I am, went to her aide. Afterschool, I would find her in the gym, hitting Wilson (her volleyball) I guess to vent. On I went and played volleyball with her and we talked afterwards. We started to talk to each other more, on the phone, writing notes and just spending time to talk about each other's problems, cuz I had mine to deal with too. Marie and her boyfriend broke up, and rumor went around school that I would break up with my gf to be with her. Part of me really wanted to but I stayed with my gf. When I found out that they had broken up, I felt my hopes rise because I told everyone that I was over her, but instead, all I did was suppress the feelings I felt earlier on in the year. When things got really hard, whether it was at home, or school, Marie was the person I could go and talk to. While in school, speculations of me already hooking up with Marie were gossiped all the time. One night, she and I were talking on the phone, and I told her cryptically that I was done. I told her that I would call her back and I went and called my gf who I broke up with. My gf had heard the rumors and already was thinking that I was cheating on her, and she wouldn't hear any of my explanations. I was hurt, so I called Marie back, told her what happened, and I cried on the phone to her. Only time I cried to a girl. It became late, and the next morning, she had to get up early for church but she stayed on the phone with me. She cried with me because she didn't want me to go through the pain. I told her that I was thankful that she was there to talk to and if she wasn't I would've gone nuts. She felt the same, cuz she came to me when she had problems at home also. Thats when I said to her, "I love you, Marie" and she replied back, "I love you too." I felt much better that night, so I went to sleep knowing that someone cared for me.
A couple of weeks later, we got together, at first being secretive about it, but later on, we let it known to others. Some were against it, some were for it, but I didn’t care, I was with someone that I loved. I never actually asked her to be my gf, so we decided to use her birthday as the date we got together… For her b-day, we went to her house, chilled, ate pizza, and watched final destination 2. Marie and I couldn’t do anything, for constant watch, but we talked on the phone non-stop and wrote to one another. To make a long story short, we technically dated for approximately 3 months, after an “incident” we were forbidden to see, talk, be with one another from her parents. We tried to make it work, texting one another through email, but sooner or later, no contact led to our downfall. She broke up with me and I was devastated. Yes, it was technically only 3 months, but the bond we had was so strong, I felt as if we were together longer. Since then, I tried to get into contact with her, just being around as a friend, but she denied my friendship. I made a promise that I would always be there, even as a friend and I did my part. So I started to ignore her. Later on, after she graduates, we see one another at college and now we are on good terms I guess. We talk, and sometimes, we talk to one another on the phone and just last Saturday, we hung out and talked for about 30 minutes with one of the group member. My thing is, because our relationship never really had that “closure” I wasn’t able to move on. To really have that closure, in my mind, we should hang out and just be friends. Maybe I am wrong? Any one undergo the same ordeal? Now my other thing is that I think I’m starting to fall for her again… Or maybe the same feelings are being let loose from the suppressing cold chains I use to hold. Any suggestions or advice? Sorry for it being long. Thanks

[lyin_in_wait]

uhm...well i know the feeling of a bond that is stronger than no other. and a forced break up isnt the one of the most exciting times of life but it happens and life goes on. if you want closure write her a note explaining everything, get every last feelin of pain, love, joy, hurt, and anything else i forgot. but dont send it to her. sometimes you just have to accept that things will never be the same again, she seems like your first true love and you NEVER forget your first love. but things do get better, plus since your hangin around her your passing up many many many chances to get with people 12 times better who would actually want to spend time with you being more than a friend....


or im wrong and your story could be just like the notebook.....

[pinayprincess]

duude your SPRUNG lol.. no, really its cute.. i can really believe you're for this girl... you remind me of my EX.. he'd always come to me for his problems for this girl he could never get off of.. he'd tell me [like how you put it] about the rumors, people not accepting how he felt etc etc. it got to me [emotionally] b/c i was his EX! but i got over myself. with him, hestarted to go out w/ this girl [same time too! 3 months] and then the girl broke it off b/c she had a problem w/ me talking to him & b/c of HER ex -- supposly had little feelings for... [but back on topic] he never gave up on her, never had the slightest doubt of leaving her. he'd always be like "okay i have to chill out now" but he couldnt resist.. looking at them now, they're 'happily together'. and to tell you the truth, i was one of those people who didnt accept his love for her.

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

This is story happy but is yet sad. You get to see the one you love at the school that you are now attending. I thyink that is alwsome. I'm sorry that I dont have vary much addvice for this. All I can say is ... follow your heart and you will find happyness.

That may have been cheesey but.. o well.

[TaintedDesires]

She's your first love and you'll never forget her. Something smiliar happend to me except we didn't have to go through all the trouble to get together. My parents thought we were getting too serious so they made us brake up. I'm still really good friends with him. Our plan is to maybe get back together when both of us go to college.

[*Uronacid*]

ugh... I know how you feel with my frist girl friend. I'm over her, but I will never atlk to here agian for the rest of my life until I don't think of her ever in anything I do or other people do. Even if she did talk to me I would avioid her. It's just not healthy for me... I did/didn't have closure with her... It was odd, basically I told her to "F*** off!!!" over and over again and I also told her "I don't ever want you F***in calling me ever again!!!", and when she called back I told her the same thing... Ugh, I couldn't take her anymore. I loved her, but there was no other way to get rid of her.... I suggest you either tell her you want her or just never talk to her again until you are over those feelings you had... I guess I'm over my ex for the most part... I'm just getting over the repecusions of a bad relationship

[da_SALSA]

wow...

i was forced to do so, too. i love my ex very much--that's why i had to break up w/ him. there was this girl who wouldn't stop pestering and blamed him every day that it was his fault that she almost died (she tried to commit suicide and almost died) and that she's turned unstable. i didn't want him to go through the pain because of me. what the girl wanted was me to get out of the picture, and so i did. it was painful, but if it's meant to be, it's meant to be.

i was forced to break up w/ him at that time and now everything is better. there are a lot of other issues between him and i. even though we feel the same, we haven't gone back out together. since we aren't, i've found/learned a lot about myself.

if you don't get closure then just move on by yourself. it'll be hard, but...just be strong! keep yourself busy! don't force yourself to all of a sudden forget her, just take it as it comes. after the first few weeks or so--every day after that will be a little better.

[PrincessAda]

I`ve never been forced but my friend has..her parents thought just because she skipped school and was flunkin` was because her boyfriend..and they moved her miles away for months.

[*baby_in_blue*]

pesonally, i`d forget about her.
if she dumped you and she doesnt have feelings for you now,
then is she really worth it?

[*Shinji_Mimura*]

I'm not gonna go ahead and lie to you and tell you that I understand; frankly, I don't. I just wanted to tell you that that has been one of the more interesting things I've read in this forum. ( If you say it isn't that interesting, then you're just calling the forum boring. /threat )

Good luck with whatever happens. ( Translation: Keep us updated. )

- Solipsist

[vn_cuti3]

this is a TRUE LOVE story so beautiful

but ya mayb u should write her a note telling her wats goin on or how ur feeling or since u talk to her on the fone then jus tell her over the fone

[DisOriental85]

i would love too.. in fact, i have a notebook full of it... when i was going through the hard times just trying to get over her... i want to give it to her, letting her know, but im kinda scared... im afraid, that with me letting her know that i still have feelings like that for her, it might drive her away, like when we first broke up... but the other side of me is like, i have to know what she is feeling... anyways, i tried to hang out with her, but she is gone for like a week or something with her family... maybe when she gets back... thanks for the replies... it makes me feel that i wasnt the only one in this kind of situation... by the way, my friend is going through a situation, but ill write more about it later on...
any ideas on how i should tell her and when? maybe im thinking too much into this...

[AzNxBaBi]

I can tell a lot of people relate to this, anyways. Sometimes you can say two people are destined. Yuo can try yet again to fight and be there for her. You're not doing anything wrong nor are the feeligns gone. Ever heard of once you love someoen you never stop? Unless you never loved them at all? Yeah well you didn't stop loving so it's love. It's okay for you to fall and to go after your love, but remember sometimes things don't work out the way you want them to. I'm just sayign for future thoughts think about what you've gone through just to be with her and if you are planning to be by her side to aid her than promsie yourself you won't let the things she do to hurt you okay?

I know the feeling of being force to break up .. My boyfriend of 4 months broke up with me cause we went changed to different schools and over the summer with my life so strict i never got to see nor talk to him. </3 And he went out with someone the day we broke up. And when i saw him again .. the first hug it brought so many feelings .. and how important he was to me. but eventually i had to let go .. cause he was no longer mine. If someone can't get through the fact for not being able to talk to each other ..arent the best of couples. . </3 Just take my advice .. go for love .. but don't get hurt ..