GROWINGG .. up and understanding friendship, ...the dayS Options

[demolished]

Through many years passed in life, I always thought friends were totally pointless. I didn’t understand the meaning of friends at all. I was alone and bored as always. The days in my kindergarten years made an impact on me. I was only a lonely child who tried to make a friend on the first day of school. Sadly, this dude didn’t care about me. He suddenly ran off to play with other toddlers. I even asked him, “can I play, please?” many time. He didn’t care at all.

At that foolish point of my childhood, I thought I could just be alone. I no longer care about making friends or tried hanging out with them. Every recess, I sat down, eating, and did nothing. I was satisfied with it. Why? Friendships mean nothing to me which made me antisocial.

Through the years, I became a pessimistic person who thinks of negative things. I thought everyone’s worthless.

I had a horrible start in my childhood. My family made me really stupid and discourages me big time. “ you’re stupid Steven”, “all Steven’s are so stupid”, “ha-ha you’re going to fail school”, “you’re a dumbass”, “you’re never go to college”, “Steven is going to fail his mission project”, “ you’re pointless”, “ you’re a loser”, and “shut the f**k up, man”.

With all that negative influence and thoughts enter in my head, I became very self-conscious about myself. I avoid many things that I should be doing. The only fun thing was school teacher. That’s their job as an elementary school staff, right?

When I hit 4th grade and moved to a new school. Life was better. I made only one friend. Haha. He was just like me, a loner. Fascinating, eh? I was really really really glad to make at least a friend but … I took disadvantage of him. As I mention, I always thought friends were totally pointless and I don’t understand the meaning of friendship.

He was like my best friend until we hit 7th grade. The age when puberty occurred, mood swings happens and stupidity wins. We separated because fight over something stupid that he did. He copy and paste my entire friend’s screenames from the AIM profile username tracker (it was known as, subprofile.com). I was really surprise and shocked.
Then, we stop hanging out. I left him alone all by himself. He was too different for me. He wasn’t very open to new things. I was totally the opposite of him. We used to be the same. I guessed, he never grew his personality and lifestyle.

Anyways, I hanged out with another group of friends … crappy friends. In 8th grade, I wasn’t involved with them anymore. I was involved with certain mature friends in ELD class (English language development). I began to take friendship seriously. I see everyone having such a great time with friends that made them happy. I read people’s xanga, they loved their best friend and all that junkies.

I admired these people. Somehow, I felt, “they were better than me, having a better time then I did” … and I end up, being depressed, suffering, and sadistic about everything. I felt truly alone and crying at home.

Until I hit my freshman year. THE BEST YEAR OF MY LIFE ! I met more people, got to know them more, and became better friends with very old classmate. Basically, I was extremely open to many people. They were pretty dam cool and awesome. i hanged out ... ALOT, well, not thaaaat much.


i was happier. i finally understand what was friendship. i thought about them too. We did the most stupid things ever, went out to eat, holiday party, enjoy pissing off an adults, weird things, we were very immature but we had a lot of fun.


At the end, i was proud of myself. I stay away and lost contact with all my shitty friends. i tried my best to involve with people … then I became really good friends with them. it was really hard. it took alot of guts and courage to get what i desired the most.




When did you start appreciating friends ALOT? tell us your story!