arranged marriages, ? |
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 Jul 5 2006, 01:42 AM
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#26
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 ||Leon/Silent W[hisper]|| Anime Freak  Group: Member Posts: 152 Joined: Oct 2005 Member No: 257,387  |
QUOTE(iRock cB @ Jul 4 2006, 5:49 PM)  Before I reply to your last post, I'm still trying to figure out where in your ass you pulled that out. Who said anything about arranged marriages being incest? And like it was stated before, they don't just pick a random person. The parents pick who they think you'd like based on your opinions and likes/dislikes. Now, some parents just choose for status. Say, they pick a guy with tons of money to raise their family's status. I don't agree with that at all. ok where the hell are you coming out from saying i said marriage is incest?!I never said that so learn to read.And yes they do pick a random person sometimes on wealth but not on the childs opinions.So check your self homie. |
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Jul 6 2006, 01:36 AM
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#27
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 Pokeball, GO! Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,832 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 433,009 |
Statement:
QUOTE(NinjaxMageLayouts @ Jul 5 2006, 2:42 AM) ok where the hell are you coming out from saying i said marriage is incest?!I never said that so learn to read. Reply: QUOTE(NinjaxMageLayouts @ Jul 2 2006, 3:54 AM) "my daughter/son,you make me proud,your getting married to your cousin today,congradulations" QUOTE -So basically to me what you said about what i said,is like you saying its all good to marry your own cousin?!If you are saying that then i believe you need help,correct me otherwise if im wrong if your not saying that. Wait, so marrying your cousin isn't incest? Do you even know what incest is? I think you're the one who needs to learn how to read buddy. Or figure out what you're trying to say before you say it. QUOTE And yes they do pick a random person sometimes on wealth but not on the childs opinions.So check your self homie. So, mind backing that up with some facts? A few people with arranged marrages in their family just sat there and explained that the parents do pick the person from a general idea of what their son/daughter wants. QUOTE(zomgznoway @ Jun 26 2006, 4:51 PM) First, the parents look at some prospective males/females that they like, and they talk to the other families about that suitor and create an alliance. During this process, they also take their son's/daughter's prefs into mind. Then, they have the son/daughter meet the prospectives and see who they do/don't like. They go from there. And I am not your homie. 
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Jul 6 2006, 02:56 AM
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#28
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 Senior Member Group: Posts: 8,274 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 8,001 |
omg.
it happen between my asian parents, mom and dad. they were arrranged marring each other. but i'm proud of that fact. why? my mom was very uneducated and wasnt very pretty at all. no man want her by love but she was married by arranged marriage method ;] i reallllyyyy appreciate my mom. she's very supportive ;] my dad ... ugh .. he's okay. |
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Jul 6 2006, 03:42 AM
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#29
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 Eh; Group: Member Posts: 98 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 174,385 |
I think its both right and wrong in a sense, it depends on the people who are being arranged to get married. I respect that arranged marriages are apart of people`s culture and believes, but I also think that people have the right to marry whoever they want. I think parents who really love their children will do whatever makes them happy, allowing the child to choose wether they want an arranged marriage or not. I have a friend who is being arranged to get married. Her parents are really strict and she can`t have a boyfriend so she always has to keep her relationships a secret from them. She actually knows the guy she`s arranged to get married to, but they`re just friends and they`re both against it. She has a boyfriend, but her sister wants them to break up. She against it, but at the same time she doesn`t want to go against her parents` wishes. Her parents think its good for her, but I don`t think it is. I don`t think all arranged marriages are bad, it can be either a good thing or bad thing, depending on the person having to go through it. There`s a wrong and right in everything.... at least I think there is.
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Jul 6 2006, 10:13 AM
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#30
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 Why don't you make like a hockey player, and get the puck ou Group: Validating Posts: 167 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 434,037 |
QUOTE(iRock cB @ Jul 4 2006, 3:49 PM) Before I reply to your last post, I'm still trying to figure out where in your ass you pulled that out. Who said anything about arranged marriages being incest? And like it was stated before, they don't just pick a random person. The parents pick who they think you'd like based on your opinions and likes/dislikes. Now, some parents just choose for status. Say, they pick a guy with tons of money to raise their family's status. I don't agree with that at all.  Ummmm where do i start hmmm maybe at the part where who the hell cares if they pick someone with the same like/dislikes or oppinions. Doesn't the saying "Opposites attract". And what if they share the same likes and all that, if you don't love them it makes no sence to mary them or even be their girlfreind.
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Jul 6 2006, 10:30 PM
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#31
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Pokeball, GO! Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,832 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 433,009 |
QUOTE(Chad_man @ Jul 6 2006, 11:13 AM) Ummmm where do i start hmmm maybe at the part where who the hell cares if they pick someone with the same like/dislikes or oppinions. Doesn't the saying "Opposites attract". And what if they share the same likes and all that, if you don't love them it makes no sence to mary them or even be their girlfreind.And... what's your point? Let me make a few. 1. Before you pick an argument with me, please, at least learn how to finish your sentences. 2. Learn how to spell. 3. I was replying to the ignorant input of another cB member. 4. If you would've read the whole thread, like it says in the debate rules, you would've seen that I too am against arranged marriages, so don't go preaching to me about how they are wrong. 5. Read the forum rules and community guidelines. |
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Jul 6 2006, 10:41 PM
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#32
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 (′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
I think it's REALLY wrong. i think marriage is all about the couple only, not the couple's parents..
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Jul 6 2006, 11:52 PM
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#33
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 fifteen...there's still time for you... Group: Member Posts: 59 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 433,028 |
i think that the parents get security in the knowledge that their child will have a reliable partner, or at least, who they consider a good partner. from the kids side, its not fun at al. and not fair. it's your life, and you should get to decide who you want to spend the rest of your life with. i guess, one day when we're parents...we'll realize why some parents wanted arranged marriages. i have a friend who has to have an arranged marriage, even now, but she says its not so bad, because her parents are going to give her a choice between two people...but i would hate it. but, in a way, if you feel insecure, it's a reassurance.
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Jul 7 2006, 12:49 AM
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#34
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
QUOTE(NinjaxMageLayouts @ Jul 4 2006, 4:05 PM) Ok do you know how stupid YOU sound, -One you said its no one elses buisness,so why get into it?why not go away and mind yours? This is a debate, dear. I could ask you the same thing, and this discussion would go nowhere. And I said it was no one else's business because decisions made inside of each family are based on their particular rule. No one else should try and force a different culture on them. QUOTE -Also you may think my respect for religion is utterly rude,religion or not,having an arranged marriage is sick and disgusting,Yes other people have different outlooks on whats right and wrong but overally religion is still an opinion and their opinion to me is just EWWWWWW.And not everyone HAS to be in the arrangement to have to dislike it,it doesnt matter on anyone others feeling it depends on he/she is being forced to be married. You think arranged marriage is "sick and disgusting"? That doesn't make sense at all. Like Brenden said, arranged marriages aren't just with random people. For status, I think it's wrong, but if it's arranged because their parents truly think it's the best for their children, let them get married. You said "overally" (  ) religion is an opinion and you think that opinion is "EWWW". So basically you're condemning someone else's religion because you think arranged marriages are sick and disgusting? Way to go, bud.QUOTE -Plus,it wont matter to the parents really because all they will discuss is finding a new person.Which still doesnt change the fact of how he/she feels. Finding a new person doesn't mean playing the slots and seeing if some other random person is better. If you're in the occasion that you do have to have a replacement, the choice of the son or daughter obviously matters. Otherwise, there wouldn't be a change in plans in the first place. QUOTE WHAT if he/she was lesbian or gay then what?  Let them be able to marry who'm they want to and be able to love who they want to especially if their sexual orientation is not straight but homosexual.-So basically to me what you said about what i said,is like you saying its all good to marry your own cousin?!If you are saying that then i believe you need help,correct me otherwise if im wrong if your not saying that. The homosexuality point is a good one. And that is to be discussed within the family. Maybe they'll understand, maybe they won't. I personally would oppose a forced marriage between a heterosexual and homosexual. And I dont' believe in incest either, so stop bringing that up. |
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Jul 7 2006, 04:10 AM
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#35
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(′ ･ω･｀) Group: Official Designer Posts: 6,179 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 72,477 |
QUOTE(sw33t_rouge @ Jun 18 2006, 8:48 PM) i think arrnaged marriages are not wrong or right. zome people who have arranged marriages grow to like each other,while some the arranged marriages didint run out to well..but it really depends.. that's actually true. my grandparents' marriage was arranged but they grow to like each other and now they're the happiest couple ever. |
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Jul 7 2006, 12:42 PM
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#36
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 daughter of sin Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
It just.. it defeats the purpose of life (according to me).. you live for love. You live to FIND love. To find that one person you cannot live without.. To experience all those feelings when you first start going out.. To just fall deeply in love.
And with arranged marriages - boom! it's all there already, someone planned your whole life. No romantics here, huh... It would just be a very boring way to get married. No excitement, or anything.. I can't imagine not marrying for love, and marrying just to make your parents happy, or because your future husband/wife is rich or socially well-known, or whatever.. It sounds stupid and pointless to me. |
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Jul 7 2006, 04:31 PM
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#37
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 44 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 397,813 |
my parents got arranged.
and they're fine. sometimes people who get arranged fall in love. i have friends who's parents also had arranged marriages and they're all basically in love. my grandparents, uncles, aunts, relatives. ha. but i still think its wrong. i will never do it. |
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Jul 7 2006, 06:56 PM
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#38
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Pokeball, GO! Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 2,832 Joined: Jul 2006 Member No: 433,009 |
QUOTE(Angelina Taylor @ Jul 7 2006, 1:42 PM) It just.. it defeats the purpose of life (according to me).. you live for love. You live to FIND love. To find that one person you cannot live without.. To experience all those feelings when you first start going out.. To just fall deeply in love. And with arranged marriages - boom! it's all there already, someone planned your whole life. No romantics here, huh... It would just be a very boring way to get married. No excitement, or anything.. I can't imagine not marrying for love, and marrying just to make your parents happy, or because your future husband/wife is rich or socially well-known, or whatever.. It sounds stupid and pointless to me. Ha, no, I admit. I'm a romantic, lol. |
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Jul 7 2006, 07:39 PM
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#39
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daughter of sin Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
^ Good, I'm glad.
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Jul 8 2006, 10:06 PM
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#40
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 424,880 |
Love may be missing in an arranged marriage, but what about obligation to your parents? They've fed you, they've clothed you, and they've kept a roof over your head. As their child, you would have some responsibility to your parents' wishes. In an ideal situation, you've been chosen a good mate who is kind and faithful, and through your union, everyone would have some gain in the end, whether it be wealth or status. Your comfort and well being is guaranteed. This is what your parents have given to you, out of love for you. Would you be able to refuse this arrangement?
It might not be exactly right, but can you see it as completely wrong? The weight of your obligation to your parents is key here. |
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Jul 8 2006, 10:47 PM
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#41
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daughter of sin Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
QUOTE(Listelle @ Jul 8 2006, 11:06 PM) Love may be missing in an arranged marriage, but what about obligation to your parents? They've fed you, they've clothed you, and they've kept a roof over your head. As their child, you would have some responsibility to your parents' wishes. In an ideal situation, you've been chosen a good mate who is kind and faithful, and through your union, everyone would have some gain in the end, whether it be wealth or status. Your comfort and well being is guaranteed. This is what your parents have given to you, out of love for you. Would you be able to refuse this arrangement? It might not be exactly right, but can you see it as completely wrong? The weight of your obligation to your parents is key here. You're shitting me, right? Yeah, they are my parents, and yeah I do have obligation to them, but I don't want to pay it while spending my entire life with someone I don't love. Why should I make myself miserable out of obligation? I'm my own person.. I would like to know that I have the freedom of choice. Especially about who I'm marrying. No one should have a right to decide what your whole life's going to be. No one. |
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Jul 8 2006, 11:09 PM
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#42
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 134 Joined: Jun 2006 Member No: 424,880 |
^Actually, I'm not.
Maybe its because my family is a little more traditional. Or maybe its because I'm a wimp. But to throw a "f**k you Mom and Dad!! I'm doing whatever the hell I want and I don't give two shits about what that does to you!!" would break my heart even more. Think about the implications. It could alienate you from the rest of your family and everything else you've ever known. It almost happened to me. Sure, this other kid loves you. But does it make up for not having your parents there when you have your first child? |
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Jul 9 2006, 08:30 AM
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#43
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daughter of sin Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 |
^
Just because you want to marry someone you love doesn't mean you're saying "f**k you, mom and dad". That's... wow. You're talking about your whole life, in case you didn't notice. But it's your choice - if you want to be miserable for the rest of your life, go for it. It's what some cultures do. If your parents really love you and care for you, I'm sure they'll understand when you refuse to marry someone you don't love. Come on. |
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Jul 9 2006, 09:44 AM
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#44
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 Hello There. Group: Member Posts: 1,572 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 88,673 |
i don't like them.
Neither do my parents. SO i won't have one. 
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Jul 9 2006, 01:23 PM
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#45
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My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
^ Please keep in mind that this is a debate. Either post an argument about the chosen topic or an argument about someone else's post. This is a verbal warning.
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