Screams From Hell |
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Screams From Hell |
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#1
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![]() Koorime ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 153 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 237,135 ![]() |
Screaming rings in the corridors of my mind.
I can't seem to make it stop. It's filled with pain, Remorse and guilt, But most of all, It's mixed with sadness and hate. I hate every thing that's happened to me. But there's nothing that I can't do about the past. All I can try to hope for is A better future One that isn't filled with pain. I'm writhing in anger that's mixed with pain, No one even cares that I'm alive. Here on Earth, I know that its not possible To be saved from this desolate hell, It's already sucked me in, And it's working its horrors upon me. Nothing can save me now. |
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*Kathleen* |
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#2
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I enjoy reading your style of poetry, as well as the actual content. How old are you?
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#3
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![]() My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 ![]() |
QUOTE But there's nothing that I can't do about the past. I think you mean "But there's nothing that I can do about the past." I like the title of your poem, but overall, it doesn't seem like much of a poem. You can actually put the lines together to make a grammatically correct paragraph: Screaming rings in the corridors of my mind... I can't seem to make it stop. It's filled with pain, remorse and guilt. But most of all, It's mixed with sadness and hate. I hate every thing that's happened to me. But there's nothing that I can do about the past. All I can try to hope for is a better future, one that isn't filled with pain. I'm writhing in anger that's mixed with pain. No one even cares that I'm alive. Here on Earth, I know that its not possible to be saved from this desolate hell. It's already sucked me in, and it's working its horrors upon me. Nothing can save me now. And if you're in Hell, why does it sa "Here on Earth"? Hmm... I think there's a lot to be improved in this poem like diction and structure, but I think it's a good start. |
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#4
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![]() CB's Forum Troll ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 926 Joined: Mar 2005 Member No: 115,142 ![]() |
You are emo.
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*Kathleen* |
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#5
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MY GOD WHAT THE FCUK IS WRONG WITH BEING AN ACTUAL HUMAN BEING THAT HAS EMOTIONS?
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#6
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![]() daughter of sin ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 1,653 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,134 ![]() |
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#7
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![]() Koorime ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Group: Member Posts: 153 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 237,135 ![]() |
You are emo. Meh, I really wouldn't be considered that...Not to myself or my friends at all. I have emotions and all, but a lot of times I get pretty emotionless too...Its more of a nothingness sometimes...(Heh, not a word that I use...but it fits...) that I seem to feel and I often draw it out through my poetry.. This one really was more of a scentence structure from the beginning, it really never had any rhyme to it...But I saw that it had a certain thing that ost of my poems had to it when I wrote it and ah well... Oh and if you really want to know Kathleen...I'm 16. |
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