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[Gypsy Eyes]

Hey steph that happened to me too! I took a break from traditional ballet and focused on more lyrical and modern and now I'm not at the level that I could be.

My dream is still to be a part of the Dance Theater of Harlem, or a singer

[The Nocturnal Ph...]

Uhh... This is quite an interesting topic. I don't share many things that have happened to me much with anyone. Well... I just found out I have yet another brother, like last week. & he lives in florida. God.. How I miss being a kid. If I could wish for something, That would most likely be my wish. To be a kid again & forever. I know what you mean about having the normal functioning family thing... I always wished for that. As a kid, I really did think that wishes would come true. I hated when my mom & dad argued. They did it like every ten minutes over the littlest things. Then it just fell apart. I mean, it wasn't a big deal, the divorce, but the bad thing was that I had to choose who to live with...

Choosing between your parents is not a good thing. Especially when you love both of them the same way. But I suppose that could've been a good thing.. you learn to appreciate your parents more because you spend less time with them.

Oh yeah & about the mugging, I was once mugged at gun point by some drunken guy.. Luckily a tow truck passed by and he was so drunk he thought it was the police so he ran away... I was scared shitless... Almost got my game boy stolen, but I didn't care about my game boy at the time..

[Rachel]

Jackie and Bella, you two are both amazing human beings and if you ever do need anyone to talk to, I am here.

Meh, I am Rachel and I don't know what to say. I guess I will just talk about Tom. I lived in Arizona basically my whole life and moved to Mass. last year in October. By December, I basically he was my boyfriend. I fell into complete and total love with him. I couldn't imagine not being with him and I let my love for him blind me from all of his faults. I didn't even know how hard I could fall until him. We were happy until summer of 05 when he cheated on me and after that, it was never the same. I lost faith in our love for eachother and in how much I meant to him. We started to fight more but I didn't want to leave hin. We broke up two times for a day at a time and then in March, we stayed broken up. He told me he didn't love me anymore and my heart smashed on the floor into a million pieces. I couldn't believe, I don't think my heart could handle the truth. I would tell people, oh he will realize what he has lost and will come back, but now I want him as far away as possible. He became a completely different person to me and now I don't even know why I stayed with him for almost a year and a 1/2. For the past 3 months (wow it feels like a hell of a lot longer) he has caused me so much pain that even if I did still love him, I could never allow myself to go back. I forced my feelings for him to the back of my mind and eventually out of my system. I realized I couldn't let my dream of him running back to me even be a dream. He was my first for many things, especially a broken heart. I used to think that the reason that I moved to Mass was to meet him, the so called love of my life, but now I realize it was just to make me a stronger person. Heartbreak really f**kin sucks, but now I am a better person and I know that I can survive it. I thought my world was ending but now I see it is just beginning. I know now that Tom wasn't the love of my life, he was just a love in my life. I can't wait to find the person who I know loves me for who I am and who I am meant to be with...lI wish I could have more to say or be more inspiring but I guess I can't. I guess I will end with part of a conversation I had with the lovely MissssCrissssy<3.

rachelis4lovers: us girls, we put our whole entire hearts into relationships
rachelis4lovers: just to get them crushed
M1SSxCHR1SSY: I know!
M1SSxCHR1SSY: And we do it over and over again.
rachelis4lovers: Yup, some days I just want to give up
rachelis4lovers: but I can't, because I know that love is real.
rachelis4lovers: and I will find the person who loves me the way I love them.
M1SSxCHR1SSY: yes exactly


(Wow, I wrote a f**k-load)

[*Zamunda*]

Hi

[*ECD & C0*]

It's a very irritating beaver.

at least you have a sence of humor

[*This Confession*]

Im Isabella. Im 14 going on 15, but people usually mistake me for somebody 16-19. Not really because I have an 'old' looking face but because of my general appearance and demeanor. I know online i seem childish and immature to many of you, but to people I know in person, they see me as very mature and grown. Maybe it's because of events in my life that have made it hard for me to have a normal childhood. For instance, I used to find solace in gang life and activity because I thought it was somewhere I could fit in and find respect and power but then my long term boyfriend and whom i believe to be my first love was shto and murdered and I realized this wasn't the life I wanted to lead, living each day worrying whether or not it would be my last or if I'd wake up tomorrow. I was molested, physically and sexually abused by 2 different boyfreinds and a friend of a friend. I look for love and reassurance in all the wrong places because my parents are ... the epitome of a failed marriage. All i have known from my parents is hatred. All they do is fight and yell and take it out on the children. Im also not exactly poor but yet, my family barely manages to live paycheck to paycheck. Any questions ? Does anyone want me to go into depth about the gangs, the abuse experiences, the family ? Feel free to ask questions.

well atleast part of that does make me think of myself and the young love thing and you were pretty young when he died.
So on so on.

I'm not going to tell you had a hard life though, because its life. No one ever said it was going to be simple. =/

Well I'm Holly. Most people on this site hate me. Because people take things differently then how you really meant them if you were infront of them talking about it. Anyway if anyone ever wanted to know anything about me then well go read my introduction in the moderator introductions. or Just IM me 0_o


I don't think anyone will take this topic seriously. Atleast some have =/

[Rachel]

I don't think anyone will take this topic seriously. Atleast some have =/

What are you talking about? Every post in this thread so far, minus KC (Zamuda=KC right?) has been either wicked intense and serious or people actually talking about themselves. Stop being negative.

[AngelinaTaylor]

I guess I can take a shot at this.

My real name isn't Angelina Taylor, but many people know me with that name. I'm Bulgarian, but I've lived in Canada since I was 13. I'm 17 now. I'm studying for a concert pianist, and my life seems to never stop - but I like it that way. I don't like saying that I've had a hard life, because it's been wonderful compared to many. When I was 12, a friend of mine (a 15-year-old) shot herself because of.. I guess love gone wrong. And I think that's when things started going downhill. I was abused in many ways, which I prefer not to mention, I had really low self-esteem, depression and all that bullshit. Then I moved to Canada, and since I didn't speak English, I hated it. But it wasn't that bad when I think about it now - I made a few friends, went to the conservatory (my absolutely favourite place on earth), etc. And since we didn't have money, a sponsor bought me a piano - it was the first time I was truly happy here. I was still dealing with depression and suicide attempts (feeble and stupid - I know). But I met a few people after that and my whole outlook on life completely altered. And things were good, until my dad had a car accident, and a few months later my uncle passed away from cancer, after which my grandfather passed away just ten days later. My friends didn't even care - my "online" buddies cared more for me at that time than them.. but that's another story. My boyfriend helped me a lot.. we've been together for over a year and a half. And even though it's long distance, we make it work. I don't want to make this too long - I'm an optimistic person, I like challanges and I look forward to the future, because I think every day is a chance to make things better.

Taylor``

[mylittleMiracle]

oh i dropped studying concert pianist year ago.:(
anyway,a question:in that hard period,who was your most important person to support you?

[push kicks]

akss me a question

[Gypsy Eyes]

anyway,a question:in that hard period,who was your most important person to support you?

Oh, hands down, my grandmother. She's always there, not matter what time it is if I need to talk and she knows exactly how to cheer me up.

What values are most important to you?

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

well atleast part of that does make me think of myself and the young love thing and you were pretty young when he died.
So on so on.

I don't think anyone will take this topic seriously. Atleast some have =/

What exactly is the point you were making ? You have confused me. And .. who in here hasnt taken this topic seriously except for maybe Zamunda.

I'm not going to tell you had a hard life though, because its life. No one ever said it was going to be simple. =/

... I wasnt asking you to tell me I had a hard life. Did you happen to ignore this post of mine ?

b' date='Jun 20 2006, 9:43 PM' post='2103544']
I guess you could say so. In comparison to many others I guess I have. But I am learning to appreciate that I have had a tough life because it makes me stronger in the long run. At the time of the events, I felt alone and weak and worthless, stupid and naive. But now, years, months, weeks later I look back on the experience and take as much wisdom from those experiences as I can. Many, many of my friends come to me for advice and say that they think i have all the answers, and many refer to me as their therapist because I always help them with advice one way or the other because I have been through a lot. I think people who have had easy lifes, lives that they just sail through from one great thing to another are cheated of a better living. As the saying goes, you can never be truly happy until you've been truly sad. Without something to make you appreciate what you have, how appreciative can you truly be ?

^ That one right there. Sorry if this comes off a bit rude but what are you trying to accomplish in telling me "it's life." In the quote of mine I just showed you I think i pretty much state Im grateful for the hardships.

akss me a question

Where'd you learn about aaall the music and producers and new bands and all the music in general that you know about ? I remember you and Brandon knew A LOT and i used to wonder how you'd figure it all out.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

Okay I'll try to...

I'm Yen, born July 6, 1991. I was born and raised in Manila, Philippines where my whole family lived a plain, Christian-based life. Because of my grandfather's wishes, I was sent to a Chinese Christian Academy. For 11 years I studied there, and didn't really succeed. After visiting my sister in Minnesotta during summer break when I was 10, my father thought the United States was a pretty decent country and decided to move there 1 and a half years later.

Due to the currency of the Philippines being (way) weaker than the US dollar, we moved from upper middle class to...poverty. We didn't suffer much though (fortunately). My mom's nursing job took us to upper middle class in a year.

I never lived the hard life. The only hard part about my life was this on-going battle between me and my sister... and school. I really hate school. It's not my thing to sit around desks writing on a piece of paper that other kids in countries could and would want to use. They're wasting paper on me...

When in your life did you ever feel so bored and lonely that you took almost everything for granted and you felt being "suffocated"?

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

oh i dropped studying concert pianist year ago.:(
anyway,a question:in that hard period,who was your most important person to support you?

Myself, actually. I've never actually had a friend i could trust, because I have trust issues. I dont confide in friends, it makes me feel vulnerable and I hate that. And people always tell me I can't keep it locked away but I write about it, and it somewhat releases a little of whats inside me, and music helps to. The songs that you find yourself totally relating to brings comfort to me, because I know someone out there who wrote it feels the same way, if not the other thousands of teens who can relate as well.

Which brings up another question.

For me, music is and has always been a HUUUGE thing in my life.
Whats something in your life you really value and love ?

[Gypsy Eyes]

Whats something in your life you really value and love ?

Music, Art and Dance. It's a way to express anything you can't find the words to say. It keeps me sane, and it's my way of communicating.

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

Whats something in your life you really value and love ?

Music, Art and Dance. It's a way to express anything you can't find the words to say. It keeps me sane, and it's my way of communicating.

I know exaaactly what you mean. Whenever im feeling anything, like mad or sad or anything I find a song that can express it and it calms me down. You took the words right out of my mouth Lol. I always find music and dance and art to have greater depth and express things with the colors and movements and beats and sounds. I sound crazy but music is so ... I cant explain it. It's something I know i could never live happily without.

[*stephinika*]

^^
I agree with that also. I may not be the best in dance, but it is something I love and have been doing for years and I love it, whether it be dance class, or dancing with my friends. Its a way of releasing all my stress and emotion. That and singing.

[AngelinaTaylor]

oh i dropped studying concert pianist year ago.:(
anyway,a question:in that hard period,who was your most important person to support you?

Why did you drop?

To answer the question: probably my boyfriend. He never really left me, even when we broke up for a while.

Taylor``

[Gypsy Eyes]

^ I know what you mean. This is going to sound tacky but my music theory teacher said this, and I love it

"Music is an advanced way to describe our most primitave feelings in the complex way we are feeling it. It doesn't come from the head like books. It comes straight from the heart, soul and emotion."

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

I guess I can take a shot at this.

My real name isn't Angelina Taylor, but many people know me with that name. I'm Bulgarian, but I've lived in Canada since I was 13. I'm 17 now. I'm studying for a concert pianist, and my life seems to never stop - but I like it that way. I don't like saying that I've had a hard life, because it's been wonderful compared to many. When I was 12, a friend of mine (a 15-year-old) shot herself because of.. I guess love gone wrong. And I think that's when things started going downhill. I was abused in many ways, which I prefer not to mention, I had really low self-esteem, depression and all that bullshit. Then I moved to Canada, and since I didn't speak English, I hated it. But it wasn't that bad when I think about it now - I made a few friends, went to the conservatory (my absolutely favourite place on earth), etc. And since we didn't have money, a sponsor bought me a piano - it was the first time I was truly happy here. I was still dealing with depression and suicide attempts (feeble and stupid - I know). But I met a few people after that and my whole outlook on life completely altered. And things were good, until my dad had a car accident, and a few months later my uncle passed away from cancer, after which my grandfather passed away just ten days later. My friends didn't even care - my "online" buddies cared more for me at that time than them.. but that's another story. My boyfriend helped me a lot.. we've been together for over a year and a half. And even though it's long distance, we make it work. I don't want to make this too long - I'm an optimistic person, I like challanges and I look forward to the future, because I think every day is a chance to make things better.

Taylor``

I like your outlook. You seem really positive and upbeat. How long did it take you to learn english ?

[*This Confession*]

... I wasnt asking you to tell me I had a hard life. Did you happen to ignore this post of mine ?

No sorry I didn't. I was reading what everyone else had said to your post about you've had a hard life and so on. Sorry though I didn't read your other posts. I haven't gotten much sleep and reading long posts give me headaches because the words are all together and lines and lines of words -_-' and I don't look at the computer when I type so It doesn't give me a headache when I type stuff I guess.

What exactly is the point you were making ? You have confused me. And .. who in here hasnt taken this topic seriously except for maybe Zamunda.

Well I had a boyfriend die, he got in a car accident supposedly. I stayed out of it for the most part. Long story. And had some pretty bad things happen to me in my past that were close to yours. I mostly stayed to myself and I'm always the one over in the corner of the room by themselves. Eventually I had really bad emotional problems. And then I trust or care about people to quickly and it turns out to the worse usually. Eventually later in life, I lost one of my really good friends in a car accident after he moved. And then I never told anyone anything. So on.

I have a headache now. I'll finish this later, perhaps. Don't know yet.

[AngelinaTaylor]

b' date='Jun 21 2006, 10:09 PM' post='2105482']
I like your outlook. You seem really positive and upbeat. How long did it take you to learn english ?

About three years.. Two and a half. I read a lot..

Taylor``

[Hiphop d[-_-]b]

^ I know what you mean. This is going to sound tacky but my music theory teacher said this, and I love it

"Music is an advanced way to describe our most primitave feelings in the complex way we are feeling it. It doesn't come from the head like books. It comes straight from the heart, soul and emotion."

Thats so true. My choir conductor tells us to sing with our heart and not our voice and when you do, you really can connect with the music fully. Im so proud of my choir, I get a little cocky when i talk about it. My choir is currently the best in northern california, we won the all state competition in March. I just .. I love my choir. And i love dancing as well, the two put together is one of the highest forms of expression, if they werent already alone.

[AngelinaTaylor]

^ I know what you mean. This is going to sound tacky but my music theory teacher said this, and I love it

"Music is an advanced way to describe our most primitave feelings in the complex way we are feeling it. It doesn't come from the head like books. It comes straight from the heart, soul and emotion."

This is so right. It also comes with hard work, though :P

[Gypsy Eyes]

Bella (may I call you that?) This topic was a great idea. Finally something serious in the lounge.

Who/what has been your inspiration?