Starving Options

[nikkkkki]

There's something about his way of teasing me, I can't really explain it. Everyone's had their turn of making fun of me, no offense taken of course, my friends love to crack jokes about each other. But when something comes out of his mouth, it makes me wanna change. And become invisible until I've fully transformed. Maybe he won't say anyting about this and that now? Yeah, he drives me crazy. Still, there's this tenderness in his voice, and this cute little smile he gives me whenever we're talking. I just wish I had a clue what it meant.

I'm not really ready to have a new guy in my life. As nice as it would be, no thanks. I've had numerous tear-filled nights just this month already. So, I guess I'll just lay back for a while. But suddenly, there's some girl trying to check up on him. I'd think my reaction would be to brush it off and state my statement, "Eh, who gives a shit." Surprisingly, that's not the case. "Who the hell does she think she f**king is?" Too strong? That's when I realized he was something special. Definitely more than special. And the questions buzzed and buzzed in my head for some time before I answered, yes, he's the one. Now I'm waiting, patiently, I must say I'm drained of this hard labor. But I continue to wait. This is what love does to me.

It's been a while now, quite long really. I'd say a few months, but I haven't been counting. So he's already slightly bent my heart for the second time. I'm depressed. But I can still control my feelings. Thank God. I know, though, that when the time comes, and I can't bare the crap I'm holding in like the crap my poor chair in the corner's holding, a few books, papers I don't need, jackets, whoknowswhats, I'll collapse. Damn, I miss my ex. I don't think I miss him because I still need him around, more like because I'm a desperate, lonely bitch. Why can't people see me the way I see myself? Because I don't let them.

--------------------
I'd like to congragulate those who've completed reading this. And I know, the title doesn't quite fit the story. Don't worry, it'll play a role on it later. But this is just a little thing I came up with. I'll probably fix it.