What should I do? |
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 May 26 2004, 12:27 AM
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#1
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 the girl next door  Group: Member Posts: 145 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 12,579  |
I've been with my bf for almost 5 years now.. and last year we broke up because he needed some freedom and wanted me to seek elsewhere but I stood by him no matter what and hoped we would get back together again. It lasted for 4 months and we got back. Now he's loving me more than ever. The only thing is i'm having second thoughts.. I feel like I DO need to experience other things/guys.. i'm still young but the main reason is that he is not the same guy I use to date. He changed psychologically because he went through a certain traumatism and now I feel like i'm loving him less and the more I feel that way, the more I feel like breaking up. I feel bad because he's going through a rough time but it is affecting my own life and depressing me too.. I need an uplift more than anything and he can't help me right now!
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May 26 2004, 12:32 AM
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#2
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 ;D* Group: Member Posts: 244 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 17,940 |
there`s always a battle between autonomy & closeness in relationships... but if you feel that you need your time apart, then you need your time apart. you both need to grow as individuals because change is what makes things healthy... him having to go through a certain traumatic situation should NOT be the reason for you staying in a relationship-- that`s horrible. you can always be there as a friend if you two so wish to make things work out that way.
you broke up before because HE needed his freedom and you agreed to it. if YOU need YOUR freedom, then he should understand that. there are times when you NEED to be selfish. |
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May 26 2004, 01:04 AM
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#3
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the girl next door Group: Member Posts: 145 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 12,579 |
QUOTE(compleXperception @ May 26 2004, 12:32 AM) there`s always a battle between autonomy & closeness in relationships... but if you feel that you need your time apart, then you need your time apart. you both need to grow as individuals because change is what makes things healthy... him having to go through a certain traumatic situation should NOT be the reason for you staying in a relationship-- that`s horrible. you can always be there as a friend if you two so wish to make things work out that way. you broke up before because HE needed his freedom and you agreed to it. if YOU need YOUR freedom, then he should understand that. there are times when you NEED to be selfish. That's exactly how I feel.. right now it is MY time. I was more scared to think I would be selfish after all this but you're right we need to grow as individuals. Although, when we first broke up that's what I was telling myself I needed to grow apart from him and I didnt achieve it.. Now, I hope I will find the courage to tell him without destroying him more, after still being fragile from that traumatic situation.. 
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May 26 2004, 01:51 AM
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#4
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 Live Your Own Party Group: Member Posts: 1,261 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 7,489 |
i don't mean to sound like... a b!tch, but your own personal needs always come first (unless you have a responsiabitlity such as a kid). if you feel this is hurting you, then you should get out of it, but try to always be there for him when he needs it. good luck and hope you get all the experiance you need and i hope it doesn't hurt him.
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May 26 2004, 05:52 AM
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#5
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 i'm susan Group: Official Member Posts: 13,875 Joined: Feb 2004 Member No: 5,029 |
girl is better to follow ur own heart... be more comfortable with ur own heart... i mean think abot it, he dumped u cus he wanted to take a rest. u can do that too and u can also go out with other guys...like learn from them? cus usually relationship... u can learn stuff that u havent learned...plus u'll experience a lot of new stuff that u never explored cus ur stuck with the person u love hehe... i hope justin my ex-bf dont do that to me...he reallie loves me a lot and i liked him less...but hope wen i love him he doesnt love me like less... sniff i'll be sad...newais so wat im saying is that, if u think u like ur bf less, then give up on him like dump him... jus do it. u gotta save ur heart!!
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May 26 2004, 10:54 AM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 118 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 17,498 |
I wonder why relationship always end up the same... =\ some sad junk!! Ugh!! But there are most finish out there!
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May 26 2004, 11:32 PM
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#7
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 Member Group: Member Posts: 29 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 18,299 |
 it so sad knowin' people datin' for sooo long n then suddenly decide to break up  u guys forgot how much fun n love u been thru???  forgot to appreciate each other's company?  i never been there so i always wondering now... how could u guys???? 
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May 26 2004, 11:38 PM
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#8
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the girl next door Group: Member Posts: 145 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 12,579 |
QUOTE(anqel_r0h @ May 26 2004, 5:52 AM) girl is better to follow ur own heart... be more comfortable with ur own heart... i mean think abot it, he dumped u cus he wanted to take a rest. u can do that too and u can also go out with other guys...like learn from them? cus usually relationship... u can learn stuff that u havent learned...plus u'll experience a lot of new stuff that u never explored cus ur stuck with the person u love hehe... i hope justin my ex-bf dont do that to me...he reallie loves me a lot and i liked him less...but hope wen i love him he doesnt love me like less... sniff i'll be sad...newais so wat im saying is that, if u think u like ur bf less, then give up on him like dump him... jus do it. u gotta save ur heart!! You.re right I should really follow my heart this time.. |
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May 26 2004, 11:49 PM
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#9
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the girl next door Group: Member Posts: 145 Joined: Apr 2004 Member No: 12,579 |
QUOTE(silver kiss @ May 26 2004, 11:32 PM) it so sad knowin' people datin' for sooo long n then suddenly decide to break up u guys forgot how much fun n love u been thru??? forgot to appreciate each other's company? i never been there so i always wondering now... how could u guys???? Thinking the same thing.. how come two people loving each other so much ends it after all they've been through. I think people change and we somewhere need to grow apart and find ourselves without being attached to someone.. In my case, we've been through so much fun, laughter, loving and now we both are in a dark episode of our lives. Therefore, neither of us has the strength to help the other to resurface.. that's why I believe we should part and live our lifes apart once and for all and see what happens at the end.. If we were meant to be, we will be together at the end.
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May 28 2004, 08:59 AM
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#10
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 Prez of Student Council 04/05 Group: Member Posts: 2,888 Joined: Jan 2004 Member No: 851 |
how old are you?? maybe you two should take a "break" but not like break up... where you take the break and can go out iwth other ppl and after taht u could decide if u actually wnat to break up and if u don't than get back together after u have the experience...
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May 28 2004, 11:12 AM
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#11
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 31 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 17,132 |
i think you should go experience some other guys. if you feel that your drifting than maybe the experience could make you realize that you do want him.
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May 28 2004, 11:14 AM
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#12
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 he`z gOt my heart*<3`o2.18.o1` Group: Member Posts: 1,662 Joined: Mar 2004 Member No: 6,338 |
although it's hard to accept .. you have to realize you have to do what's best for you .. don't stay with someone that's going to hold you back .. you need to experience as much as possible before you settle down with the right person .. be honest and tell himthe truth .. but you can still be there for him as a friend .. it doesn't seem like the right time for you to be together as a couple ..
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