is there such a thing??, ...cLoSe friends... Options

[iminlovewithTomD...]

Well, it seems like everyone in my [small small] school has their BEST FRIEND... at school... all my "school friends" don't really mean everything to me, because i don't seem like i mean much to them... i know you can't force people to love you and junk, but it's hard when your best friend is 2 years older than you, horrendously suicidal, almost ALWAYS grounded and living really far away from you... my only other good friends are my brother (16), who's always doing something or another with one of his friends ('cept sometimes i join them ), and my brother's "ex", who's 16, lives really far away, and hasn't been able to talk on the phone, let alone get online in like a week!

I know it's not anything horrible, but I'm kinda in a tough spot... I mean, it's not like I don't like the good friends I have, In fact, they are the most amazing people in the world!! NO ONE can replace them, but sometimes I get this empty feeling when I'm at school, seeing everybody all bright and cheery, hanging out with their perfect bestest buddies, and all I have are the conversations from last night on the phone stuck in my head, like

me: nicole... how do birds mate?
nicole: well you see, first the male bird poops, then the female bird sits on it!
me: i wish i were a bird...
nicole: whose sh*t would you sit on?
me: will's...

I don't really know... I mean like, is it bad or anything that my best friend is a 15 year old who lives really far away from me who's really suicidal and always grounded? Because sometimes I know I really need to be there for her, but I can't, because her parents ground her for the most random things!!

Ughh! I guess I don't really know what I'm posting! Just a bunch of mixed feelings and thoughts

[AzNxBaBi]

does it feel like your friends care but then not the "you're really important care"? it's okay my bestfriend i rarely see .. I haven't talked to her for almost 5 months now. and i haven't seen her for 6th months .. No it isn't bad to have a15 yr old friend far away from you lol. :] sometimes we can't always be there for the ones we love/care for.

[iminlovewithTomD...]

:) it's nice to know i'm not the only one... thx for listening and junk. i appreciate it. i hope you get to see your best friend soon... it sux, don't it?

[colleen92]

i kind of feel the same way...except i don't really have a best friend. all my good friends have their own best friends and i'm just like "ok...i'm here too." ya know? so i guess i kind of get where you're coming from. i guess you can't really do anything about your best friend though. if her parent's ground her all the time it's not your fault you guys can't get together and it isn't her's either. well i hope everything works out.

[priyas]

My Response:

Make some friends at school. I mean, you see the people there everyday, so there must be at least 1 person that you like.

I used to not have a best friend, but i had many good friends. Good Luck!

Its okay to have friends outside of school, but make some in school, so you won't feel lonely.

[iminlovewithTomD...]

well they've already all got their best friends... i go to this really small christian school, so there are only like 17 girls in my grade and 9 boys... it's not that i dont like people, it's just that they already have clung to their best friends, so i dont have a chance anymore :(

[PrincessAda]

Try being friends with all of them.Make convo with them.

[Heartless Hero]

awwe man im so lost @_@

whats going on again?

[loveandsins]

I had a bestfriend for about 2 years and then she moved and now i don't have one. I have great friends but i can't talk to them like i talked to my bestfriend..but i don't think a bestfriend is necessairy. Alot of ppl don't have one and seem to be doing pretty well.

[iminlovewithTomD...]

Try being friends with all of them.Make convo with them.

well i'm not like a reject or anything. it's not that i'm not friends with them, it's that im not GOOD friends with anybody.

[*jooleeah*]

Well, try being better friends. There's nothing wrong with being more sociable.

[rainbow piss]

I kind of know where you're coming from since I don't have a best friend, go to a small catholic school & all that junk. >__>

Well, the reason I'm not all that close to anyone really (well, except maybe only a couple of people) is because I don't really like anyone all that much. Heh. & besides, I don't even care anymore since my school year's about to end (I'm graduating 8th grade next week. Thank goodness).

Anyways, what you can try to do is just talk to people (well, the ones you like if you already pretty much know everyone). & is there someone from another grade that seems like a cool person? Try talking to them & maybe you guys can become close friends. But just don't try TOO hard to make new friends, as some people tend to take advantage of that. Time will come & you will have made close friends.

[priyas]

well they've already all got their best friends... i go to this really small christian school, so there are only like 17 girls in my grade and 9 boys... it's not that i dont like people, it's just that they already have clung to their best friends, so i dont have a chance anymore :(

Try Harder. You could IM them. Email them. Just say hi in the hallway. Make up conversations. Invite them over to your house for a get together.

Its okay to have more than 1 best friend. I used to have 4.

[iminlovewithTomD...]

thx guys. now i got an idea of some things i can do.

i esp. like the other grade one... ^.^

[LittleFlyingCow]

hey it's alright, I have a simular situation too. I just started going to school this year and I love it, and I love the friends I've made, but everyone seems to have a bestfriend but me, which is depressing when I'm hanging our with them cause they're always joking around with their "best friend" and only seem to talk to me when their "best friend" isn't availible. They don't hang out with their best friends alllll the time tho so that was a bit of an exageration.

Anywho I do have a bestfriend, or at least one I consider to be my bestfriend, I'm not sure if I'm her best friend but I'm at the top anyway :P but she doesnt' go to my school, and I only see her one every two or three weeks.

PLUS I'm switching school's next year (not my choice) so I'm going to have to make friends all over again, which really sucks.

The advice about just talking more with the people you like actually really works. For some reason I never really believe that, or tried it, cause I'm always really quiet, and I figured people who will like me as a friend will just...like me, and people who don't, don't. But that is so incredibly wrong. I've noticed being in school that the people I make an effort to hang out with alot, talk to alot, help out, invite over, sympathize with (etc etc) really do give all that back to me. It's like the saying "first seek to understand, then to be understood” and it's completely true. If you talk to someone, chances are they'll talk to you, and who knows, you could become awesome friends. :)