Dr. Sean Options

[xoxoxx]

wow... brutal advice dr sean. ur supposed to be on the guy's side!

alright here's one. i have a friend (female) that is attractive. but she acts like a slut. i know her friends well, so i cant avoid her. she assumes since most guys go for her, i will too, so she keeps trying to act all sexy next to me just to tease me. and think we're friends. how do i tell her that im disgusted by her actions and dont consider her a good friend without sounding insensitive/gay?

Simply tell her, "I don't like how you act so unwoman-like towards me. I'd prefer you act normal. Please stop."

If she does those actions, just tell her "please stop." Or if you can, walk away. Ignore her when she does those things, and soon she should get the point.

There is this girl that me and my friends hang out with that I like. I cant get myself to ask her out or tell her how i feel.. I also keep having these feelings of jealousy/hatred towards her and one of my other friends because I think she likes him.

Any advice on (a) how i should tell her that i like her. (b) find out who she really likes and/or © if she doesnt like me how should i stop thinking of her the way I do now.

Thanks Dr. Sean!

If you're really up for some dedication, and when I say dedication, I mean dedication, try to do what I say.

First off, be nice to her, talk to her. Don't rush into things, unless you already know her very well. If you tell her you like her when she doesn't like you back yet, it will just mess up the entire relationship. Everything will be awkward in front of her.

When finally you feel that she likes you, simply tell her you like her! Don't be shy, and if she rejects you, just act normal.

Even if someone dates her, continue to talk to her normally. Sooner or later, she'll find out you're a great guy, and she might date you.

Once you date her, don't let your jealous instincts get in the way! Be protective, but not overprotective. Let her talk to some guys you trust, and if she wants to friendly hug a guy friend, let her! If she is loyal, she'll know whether or not she should talk to certain types of guys or not.

If you want to find out who she likes, you'll have to be great friends with her before you even ask. I think asking her is the best way. If you ask her friends, they could provide false information that will mess up everything. And if she says, "I don't know who I like", or "Why?", it could mean she likes you!

Yep, use dedication. Talking works best. Don't tell her friends you like her though, if they tell, then the relationship is screwed.

- Dr. Sean

[*suddenly she*]

boyfriend in sr high, me in high.
got any parent-approved ideas to see each other?

we're allowed to see each other in a group of friends in a very public area once a month. that's it.

[xoxoxx]

boyfriend in sr high, me in high.
got any parent-approved ideas to see each other?

we're allowed to see each other in a group of friends in a very public area once a month. that's it.

Er, sorry I don't understand what you mean by sr high and high. Senior and High?

Can you explain some more why you aren't allowed to see him a lot?

[SimplicityGirl]

Hi Dr. Sean. I need your advice on something. It's been bugging me for a while.

There's this girl, let's call her Girl S, and there's this guy, let's call him Guy K in my school. Girl S has liked Guy K since Grade 10 and we're in Grade 12 now, so that's two years. I used to be Girl S's friend, and it was through her that I met Guy K in Grade 11. Knowing how much Girl S liked Guy K, I was reluctant to become his friend, because I didn't want to send out the wrong messages to Girl S.

...eh this is where I have to digress and tell you about how Girl S is. Another guy, Guy V asked her out in Grade 10, and for the first few months or so, he treated her like a guy should treat his girlfriend. However, after that first few months, Guy V stopped treating her right, and in the process, Girl S naturally got hurt. However, she did not break up with him, and their status, as of today is still "together". Me and my friends tried to get her to see that he was hurting her and that he wasn't worth it and that she should just break up with him, but she didn't listen. During this time, she met Guy K through Guy V, as they were friends. And she started to intensely like Guy K because he treated her way nicer than Guy V. They're not officially "together", but everybody in the school knows that she likes him a lot and they act like they're together anyway. He would wait by her locker after school and walk her home everyday. She became possessive of him because she did not want to lose him, and this made her to see him as an object that she can own. It got to the point where she HAD to know where he was and what he was doing if he was not with her, and that he HAD to ask for her permission to do stuff without her. She goes through his privacy to check out what he has been up to, and she gets other people to tell her what Guy K is up to. Girl S tells Guy K that he 's not allowed to have any close girl friends other than him, and she also told him that he shouldn't be friends with me when she introduced us. And she gets jealous really easily.

So couple all that with the knowledge that Guy K was only nice to me because I was Girl S's friend, I didn't really feel the desire to be his friend. And so we remain acquaintances for the major part of Grade 11. I mean, we would talk on MSN about homework but that was about it. We didn't have any long drawn out convos. I didn't consider him my friend in Grade 11.

This year, however, that all changed. We went to camp, and Guy K was put into my skit group. So naturally we talked more on MSN, and it wasn't just all about schoolwork. It was what I would consider to be the beginning of a friendship. However, I didn't want to upset Girl S and make her think that I was "taking" Guy K "away" from her, so I didn't quite call me and Guy K friends. Because I knew of Girl S's jealousy rages, I didn't really want to stir up anything, so I didn't call me and Guy K friends. But we began to talk more on MSN and hanged out more, and I just felt stupid for not calling us friends when it was apparent that we ARE, so I gave in and called us friends.

A couple of months passed, and me and Guy K talked more and more. We became close friends. During this time, Girl S and Guy K were having problems because Guy K doesn't talk to her as much as he did before, and he doesn't pay the same amount of attention to her. I didn't know of this. Girl S told me all this over MSN and in it she blamed me for taking Guy K away from her, and she accused Guy K of liking me. All that I didn't know how to answer her. And when I refused to follow her "rules" of stop acting like Guy K's friend, we stopped being friends.

Guy K has been sending me mixed messages lately. He wouldn't talk to me in school because he didn't want others to think that we're together or anything but when we're alone, we would hug, and hold hands, and link arms. I will admit it, I do like him a bit. Guy K tries to please both me and Girl S and in the process he's hurting me. At school he has to please Girl S because he doesn't want her to bitch at him, so that means that he has to act like we're not friends. But when we're alone, we act like we're a couple. On MSN, he would do *hug* at the most random times, and he would try and make me happy when I'm down. He would also try to spend more time with me...like now...I'm supposed to go meet him in about half an hour.

So I guess my question is...does Guy K like me, and did I do something wrong by being Guy K's friend? Because when you look at it, what happened was I chose a guy over a friend, and I don't know, that makes me feel like what I've done is wrong.

so any help/advice is appreciated. Thanks.

[xoxoxx]

er. to simplicity girl.

perhaps you should talk to me via AIM,

it will be easier for me and for you.

PM me with your sn.