So there's this guy..., ...again Options

[lKVNiiKINKYl]

If you remember, I had a topic about like the first part of this months ago (around December-ish)

http://www.createblog.com/forums/index.php...=115880&hl=deca

There's that, then my part II, and even part III.

Ok so Part II

Around January, the DECA thing takes place and we room together and once or twice we get a little...close and things happen and such. We come back to school and I am ignored once again for months at a time.

END OF PART II (that was pretty short)

Part III
So about an hour ago he texts me and asks to hang out. Of course I know what he is talking about and I honestly want to say no, but I don't for god knows why. So I tell my parents I am going for a run (because I am never allowed out at like 8:00...damn these asian parents) and he picks me up and we go out and fool around. After that, I'm feeling kind of crappy again because I know this cycle is going to repeat. The whole...sex, ignore, phone call, repeat cycle. On the way home though, he tells me there is a "list" and he is going to be telling people about me. I am one of the very few open gay guys in my area, and this is shocking me because he is telling me how there are some more people who do this and he's going to be telling people about me. Of course it doesn't hit me until he drops me off, but by then it hits me and I'm like woah...wtf is going on. Oh and I find out that he's a druggie, which makes things so much better. I know I should stay away, but I really can't. I keep telling myself I will say no, but when the time comes, I don't. It's just the fact that after all this time, I still have so many feelings for him, yet I still have so much hatred for him. Another reason why I think I am doing this is because being one of the very few gay guys in a very close-minded environment, and I know that once he goes to college I'm going to not really have a relationship because there won't be anyone. Then again this really isn't a relationship, but it's the closest thing I have ever had to one and I don't want to let go.
Help?