A Message to Anyone, Version.22 Options

[Gigi]

___,

It's been over a week. I miss you so much that it hurts. I can't stand to look at those pictures, yet I always weaken my grip on myself, only to be disappointed all over again. f**k these feelings of insecurity. f**k being two years younger. f**k being deathly boring around you because I'm scared of saying something idiotic.

I miss Spring Break and how I had no inhibitions. I miss your references to Italian electronic/dance DJ's. I miss that time in Vinales, Pinar del Rio where you swung on a vine and fell on your back. I miss how you pretended to speak in Korean to a bunch of them going down the mountain, and them actually thinking you were Korean. I miss not being able to do that salsa dance turn and getting other people to teach us, and STILL not getting it. I miss us shrugging that off and creating new ones - closer ones. I miss how you said "Don't worry, I've got you" when I almost fell, doing two of those turns. I miss talking about Hong Kong. I miss talking about our respective futures. I miss being "your exception". I miss you regretting having only 3 months left. I even miss your goddamned wooden baseball bat!

Every time I crack my wrist, every time I see that weird triangle-shaped tan on my right foot, think about taking a sip of your Red Bull and eating weird packaged Cuban chocolate cookies with the faces on them, I think of the times we spent together - and how much I miss it. It hurts. This is unbearable.

[redpeony]

Ahhhhh... what a depressing end to the evening.. I don't even know how to feel. I guess It's actually not that much of a difference, but I don't know... maybe it's the reality of how close this is that's making me feel like this. I can't help thinking now... out of all the people... why did I fall for you? I don't understand... I really, really don't. It feels like I've been so careless for the past year, to fall freely and easily for you: and now, if we look at it realistically, it's all just going to end. I realize that there is more to be seen, more love to be experienced in the future, most likely from other people and we are still so young... but I never expected to care about you like this. But I do. And I want the best for you. I guess I'm making this a bit dramatic, hah. You're my first love and you know that. And despite all of the things that have happened and all that will happen in the near/far future... love you. Okay?

[xTINAA]

Dear You,
Wow. So that was an interesting night I'd have to say. I was not expecting any of that. God, the night started our so horribly with me crying when I was five minutes away from your house yet ended so well when I woke up and you were holding me. But despite all of the good moments, I'm still left confused and I don't know what's going on. Fill me in? I know it was more than just hooking up because I know you better than you think I do. It wasn't like St. Patrick's day...this was different. See, with that night it was because you were intoxicated and when you were sober you came to your senses and stopped. Last night however, you weren't as intoxicated and when you were sober you acted the same way. You were consistent. I just don't get it. I really love you and it's almost as if you if you have the upperhand because you know this. I have so much I'm thinking about and there are so many possibilities and reasons behind everything. I just wish I knew and that I wouldn't have to spend so much time trying to solve it all. I feel like you do miss me, that you do care for me, that you do want to be with me, but something, whether it's people or something else, is holding you back. I could be wrong though, I'm wrong with a lot of things. Well in any case, I hope we keep talking and hanging out and everything. This cannot just have been a one time thing, I know it wasn't.
-Me.

Dear You,
You are really cute. I'm somewhat attracted to you and I'm not sure why. It's almost like I'm starting to develop all of these small crushes almost instantly and it's stupid because I know that I don't really like you, haha. I'm an odd person I guess! Anyway though, you're really cute and it seems as if you're almost into me a little bit too. I often misread signals though so who knows? It was nice to sit next to you tonight during the movie and whisper back and forth a little. And also share the arm rest, haha. I guess I'll be seeing more of you!
-Me.

[silver-rain]

Sigh, I wish you could have called or at least let me know you were leaving and where you were going. I hate this. I hate this feeling, that you don't care about me as much as you say you do...

[topsyturvy]

_____:
S l o w d o w n. I beg of you. I'm not ready yet.
W h a t ' s - t h e - r u s h ?

____:
I hate dealing with this xxxx xxxxxxxx sh*t. Just give me a break, ok?


E D I T
_____:
What the hell is wrong with you? Why do you have to be so goddamn worked up? If you feel like fighting then get on with it, if that's what you wanted in the first place.

[nycaf12]

gizmo...

i know you wont see this, thats why i posted it here. we've been dating for a month of so and im alreayd in love with you already. in this past month i really had fun oging0out with you. ice skating in glacier with the STALKER hahah. fun times fun times. watching silent hill together and all that..you tend to always know when im upset even though i dont really show it to you. you try to cheer me up with your retarded sth. dinosaur walk hahhaha... the chinglish talk with you all the time, endless talking with oyou on the fone everynight. SLEEPING when youre on the fone with me . HMPH! hahhaha things have jsut been great for me.. i mean from the day you started talking to me i ddidnt know you liked me and everybody actually knew. -.-' i dont really know what esle i can say.. i love you a lot and i just wanna cherish this relationship as much as possible. i dont want to leave, but there isnt really a choice.. whatever that happens to us, good luck with everything. i will definitely miss you. you dont know how much i love you. yes its only a been a month and a half and im saying that. not because im those ignorant kids who dont know what love is. i know and i found the right one. thanks for everything youve done for me... i wish you all the best when i leave and hope you find a better boyfriend cuz i know long distance relationships just dont work and it wont for us definitely. ill always remember the fun times being with you. POOHEAD. : ]

[redpeony]

I guess the two things that I'm going to miss the most, are how completely comfortable I am with you physically, and how honest and uninhibited our talks get sometimes. Don't know if I'll be able to find that again, haha-- especially the second part. Oh welll. It might be selfish but I'm trying to start parting myself from you emotionally so it won't be as hard... I'm sure you're doing the same. And I need to get out of the mentality that we've tried so hard for so long and it's ending like this. Because there have been some valuable experiences and fun memories along the way that I can't just disregard like that. I'll see you in a few days...

[*xcaitlinx*]

Mom and Dad,
when it comes to me and my boyfriend, you two are so strict! i can understand that on the weekends you won't let us hang out all three days (including friday afterschool), but still. me and corey have been going out for over 5 months...6 months soon and you guys should realize that he'll be around for awhile and he's a good guy. i mean, he gets along with dad (playing basketball when he's over) and mallory and tommy adore him. im scared that when summer comes (which will be here before we know it) you will be strict and not let us hang out as much as i'd like to. we're so used to seeing eachother everyday in school and on the weekends. i see him practically everyday and it will be really really hard to cut it down to 4 days a week over the summer. pleaseee...dont be assholes about it...idk when i should ask about the whole summer thing because im unsure of what you will say.

Baby,
wow. i love you so much hun<3

[*Intoxique*]

____,
Do you know how much I miss you?
Do you know that I think about you everyday?
Do you know that my heart skips a beat everytime your screen name signs in?
Do you know that I miss talking to you on the phone for 5 hours straight?
Do you know that I miss the way you use to talk to me?
Do you know that I miss the way you use to tell me that you loved me?
Do you know that I miss the days when you said more then "Hey", "Whatever" "Lol" & "Cool"?
Do you know that I miss the conversations when we could just talk about anything?
Do you know that I think about what would of happened if I didn't breakup with you?
Do you know that I wish that we were still together?
Do you know that I regret what I did?
Do you know that I still have feelings for you?
Do you know that I still love you?
I guess the answers to all of those questions are 'No'.

[iDecay]

_, Oh please. STFU.
_, What happened? We never talk anymore..
_,

[xTINAA]

Dear You,
Oh wow. I cannot believe this happened. How ironic is it that when Seho died it was my homecoming and now when she dies, it was my prom? I'm so sorry. You and your family go through so much it's unbelieveable. I want so badly to call you but honestly I'm scared. I'm scared you'll be sad or angry and that I could say something wrong and it will be what happened after Seho died. I don't want that. It seems like we could just start working it all out and I don't want to jeopardize that. You know, it's exactly how it was in September. We had a problem and we were just on our way to fixing it and things were becoming good again when Seho died and we broke up. Anyway, I love you and I'm hoping maybe you'll call me first.
-Me.

Dear You and You,
You two are so annoying when you are together. All you do is fight. You both are grown and old, haven't you two learned anything over the years? Just tone down your damn attitudes and stop fighting over such petty things. It's so annoying and I'm so sick of hearing it. It was nice when you were gone in Florida actually because there was so bullshit fights with either you and you or you and me. I know this is going to sound extremely selfish but I hope you two decide to go to New Mexico now because I'm really sick of everything and I want the chance to just live by myself. I know you two do amazing things for me and I love you for that but honestly, I do believe the heart grows fonder with distance. I mean if you and you and I weren't always constantly around each other we wouldn't have to butt heads all the time.
-Me.

[ANG33ZY]

I miss our conversations. Damn texting :(


-----------

Joshua. I hate your stinking guts. You make me vomit. You're the scum between my toes. I hope they beat you up. Love, Angela.

[*Intoxique*]

____,
I miss you Eric. I miss you so f**king much. I love you & I'm so sorry that I did that to you. I wasn't thinking back then. I know it was stupid. I want you back. I wish I could say all the things I posted on 'Message To Anyone' about our relationship to your face & tell you my true feelings about us.

____,
You are so f**king fake. I can't believe I believed all those f**king lies. Just f**k off.

[silver-rain]

I hate hate hate how you do this to me, drag me along as if I'm on a string, tugging me this way and that way, making me change my emotions about you, with a simple word or action or something. I hate how you can make me go from lovign you to hating you and then back to loving you. I hate how much stress you cause me. God, I hate this I hate this I hate this.

[*stephinika*]

: It was good seeing you today...I hope I make the 26th amazing for you...

[Gigi]

____,
Wow, no wonder Alison got pissed at you. I just thought she was a bit weird in the sense that she gets pissed off at the smallest things...but no, I really get her. You're just freaking boring, that's what! I find satisfaction in finding someone boring-er than I am. And the way I talk to you just shows me that I don't treat all guys like I treat him, and that maybe it's not just in my head.

_____,
We had a really good talk yesterday. I can't believe I was left in the dark about so much stuff! Man, we have some major issues to resolve. We should really talk together more, although I feel a bit bad about keeping things from the rest of the f4's. Eh. They don't have to know about B's favourite animated TV show. =)

___,
Why I feel the need to give you a message every time I post in this thread, I have no idea. I guess it's just a way for me to see it in front of me. I can't stand to see this slip away. I have to stand up for what I want...and I can't be affected by this anymore. I want this. I need to do something about it. Just as long as my wimpy ass doesn't fail on me. =\

[AzNxBaBi]

_______;; I hate you now ... I don't know why But i do. Hey im' stupid. &you never thought of me. & you never cared. It was jsut me. You're still a "fan" of hers. Well i give up ... I'm stupid. It was a mistake .. I don't ever want to see you again ..

[xTINAA]

Dear You,
Mmm, so we talked today. But it was only online. I really wish we could talk in person or at least on the phone. I used to be in love with talking online but not so much anymore. I'd like to see your face or at least hear your voice when I'm talking with you. Regardless, we still didn't really talk today. I don't know what's going on? Maybe I'll call you tomorrow. I don't know. I'm just really confused and I'm so scared about doing or saying something wrong and messing everything up. Seems like I mess things up a lot. I can't mess things up with you again. I love you too much and I need us to work everything out. It did seem like you were a little more "friendly" online, like it seemed like you actually wanted to talk to me this time. I don't know - ah, I really just don't know anything. People keep asking me what's going on and I wish I knew. You didn't seem in a bad mood so I don't know, maybe you don't know about your cousin yet or maybe it's not that big of a deal since you most likely weren't that close to her? I don't know. See, gosh, I just don't know anything. Actually that's not true. I do know some things. I know you make me happy. I know I love you. I know I want to be with you. But none of that is enough or none of that satisfies me, as in knowing those things doesn't really help. Hmm, so yeah, perhaps I'll call you tomorrow. I'm scared, haha.
-Me.

[*mzkandi*]

____ Well, I didnt see that coming nor could I suspect you would do such a thing. I know you're getting older but wow.

[xTINAA]

Dear _ _ _ _ family,
I'm so sorry for your losses. Seriously, your family goes through so much it's unbelievable. I'm praying for you all - that you can get through these difficult times. I wish there was more I could do :(
-Me.

[*Intoxique*]

_____, ____, ______ & ___,
f**king fake. I am sick of people like you. Just fuckkkkkk off 'kay?

____,
Happy birthday tomorrow. Yes, I did remember it's your birthday tomorrow. I really wish I could forget it but I can't. Just like how I can't forget you & us .

[ANG33ZY]

finally :)

_____


f**k you and you and you.

[*mzkandi*]

______ Congrats on making it out of high school. While you may not know it, I'm proud of you.

______ I didn't mean alot of what I said. I was just hurt that you left me out of it. I wanted to be there. Oh well....

[lyin_in_wait]

*im so sorry about whats been goin on. i love you with all i got and i want you to know that what ever you need to do ill understand. i dont really know how to deal with your stuff and how to fix it but if you need anything honey im here. just because im your girlfriend doesnt mean that everything is supposed to be peachy. lifes gonna suck sometimes but i meant what i said a couple days ago in the text message....im glad we got some alone time too during last block. dairy queen was fun, even though you paid. i didnt want you to cuz it makes me feel like really bad....for lack of a better word. your my everything, i love you more than you know...it feels like forever that we have been dating. even though its only been almost 2 months, including the first time. im sorry about that too. we should have fixed that, and i shouldnt have acted irrational. i made a mistake and im sorry for that.

*im glad we are close again. for a while there i was seriously thinking f*k this. best friend or not. i didnt deserve that, but your not the only one at fault. but anywho, thats in the past now...it finally feels fixed. its almost been 2 years =) whoo hoo

[me1issaaaa]

___ - It's almost our 1-month anniversary! Oh boy. Our first anniversary, I'm excited. I wish we had became official sooner, I'm sorry for waiting so long. But I have to say... you were worth the wait. I'm so proud of you for graduating! This summer is going to be filled with love for the both of us. Next year won't be the same without you, but it'll be okay. I love you, babycakes.