need advice... Options

[proudpk]

(im a guy, 17 years old)

Well there's this one girl I've been totally falling for... for more than a year now. I KNOW that I totally love her and also know that she was interested at least once... you know how you can just tell like someone likes you. Thing is I was too shy to make a move, and she was also way too shy to do anything about it. I changed a lot and I'm not really the shy little boy I used to be (although it can still be problematic at times, but that's another story).

Well she's been on and off with this other guy the whole time (actually I have no idea what's between them... they're like dating but she tells me that nothing has never happened because she doesn't like him... now go wonder why they spend their week-ends together), and I've had a few one-night hookups too but neither of us have had anything serious. I still want her real bad but I don't think she feels the same about that. She happens to be one of my best friends too, which has led to some confusing moments, and she is also my best friend's ex.

My best friend thinks I still have my chances... the other guys say that I should move on... the girls don't know 'cause they all think I don't love her any more. And as far as guessing if she likes me or not I'm totally screwed. She gives me mixed feelings all the time. Some days she acts like she would be ready to fall into my arms and other days she is very distant, barely says hello and doesn't talk much.

And when I call her she's almost always doing something else and it makes me quite sad/mad. Like that other time I called her, and she said she had to study but she would have really liked to do something with me. And a few days later when I see her she tells me that she didn't study because that guy came over to her house and they watched movies.

Guys - What would you do?
Girls - How would you feel about a guy who's had feelings for you for that long?

thanks in advance ppl...
peace.

[SarahxJoy]

Wow..you know what? This is like de ja vu, almost.

You see, my best friend used to date this guy but they always had problems and kept on going on and off for about a month. But then after that, he started noticing me and fell for me, but I never did anything about it 'cause at first I knew hardly anything about him and well, he was my best friend's ex. I wasn't sure if it was okay to hook up with him or not. But..eventually, when my best friend transferred to another school, her ex and I got a lot closer and I developed feelings for him. And well..we've been together for almost seven months.

I know that every situation has its differences though, so don't take my word for it.

But, that's the only reason I can think of why she's sometimes close but distant to you. Is she okay with going out with even if you're also best friends with her ex? How long has it been since her and your best friend ended things? And as for the guy she hands out with on weekends, maybe they're just really close friends too. Overall though, maybe you should just confess to this girl you love, and see what she wants to make of it, if anything.

Good luck.

[proudpk]

Hmm well things might not be as bad as I thought they were. Spent the whole evenning with her and a couple other friends and it was pretty fun... plus we were like looking at each other the whole time I don't really know... I still have no idea of what I'm gonna do but such moments do make me much happier and less negative about the whole thing.

Damn her smiles make me melt

It's been almost two years since she's gone out with my best friend so I don't think that this could cause any problems. Kinda did in the beginning though cause back in the days we both obviously liked each other it made my friend really mad to see us just talk together. I guess our friendship was strong enough to get over that, but sometimes I still feel bad about it. If our places had been exchanged I would have felt like total sh*t... Your girlfriend dumps you for no apparent reason and goes flirt with your best friend? That oughta have killed me. Props to him for standing up to that.

peace.

[*This Confession*]

You should really talk to her...be honest with her..
and tell her how you feel. That's all you really can do.

And since I'm a girl
i'll have to answer you by the girl question..

If a guy liked me that long i would feel very special
and I would like them as well more than likely.
I would give them a chance if i truly knew them as a best friend...
but of course were not her..
you have to know that
every person is different.

[BryMonster]

Be romantic and a smart but sensitive way.
Write her a letter abouit everything. Leave not
one bit of information out of it. If you know her
address, leave it in her mailbox with rose. If not
just give it to her one day with a rose. And tell
her that "Speaking these words cannot do the
justice of what I have to tell you, so I wrote them
down."

And such. It'd work. She'd realize that you mean
the world to her.

[proudpk]

Geez. I don't honestly think that I have the guts for a letter... Plus I'm a terrible writer. I was thinking next time I'm alone with her I'll give it a go and see what happens. I try to be romantic all the time... some days it pays off some days not but I'm starting to realize that it will all come down to that moment where I will tell her everything. Hopefully I can arrange something to end up spending a whole evenning just with her within the next week or so.

Thanks for the help people... I just really needed to talk about that

[*This Confession*]

good luck

[priyas]

Be romantic and a smart but sensitive way.
Write her a letter abouit everything. Leave not
one bit of information out of it. If you know her
address, leave it in her mailbox with rose. If not
just give it to her one day with a rose. And tell
her that "Speaking these words cannot do the
justice of what I have to tell you, so I wrote them
down."

And such. It'd work. She'd realize that you mean
the world to her.

agreed.

[PrincessAda]

Wow..talk to her..be romantic and a gentlemen.I would feel special if a guy liked me for a long time..

[proudpk]

I'll let you know what happens

Again, thanks for the advice

peace.

[proudpk]

Baah.

She was really distant again this morning

Saw her 5 minutes before my exam and she like barely said hello and turned back to talk to someone else. I'm tired of having these "rollercoaster" feelings all the time... Aargh!

Physics are already hard enough by themselves, I didn't need to have this in the back of my head during the whole exam... Damn it...

peace.

[xxeleganziia]

ooh man, i really dislike those 'mixed feelings'..i kno how u feel. have u tried talking to her about it? or about anything related to how she acts? i mean..i can understand why you wouldnt want to ask her why shes distant sometimes [she might take it the wrong way and get mad..i dislike that also, lol, been there.], but that could help. i mean, it probably would clear a lot of things up. its probably driving you crazy, lol, and i dont blame you. some girls are just like that..but yeah my advice is to talk to her about how shes been acting..and be careful as to how you word things..i dont kno how she is, but ive had bad experiences where people take things the wrong way and im just giving you a heads-up as to what may happen..just a suggestion

[magicfann]

reformat your life then ask her out

[proudpk]

It's always good to know other people have gone through this before. Thing is it would be really odd if I tried to ask her why she's distant sometimes... I'd feel much more comfortable about confessing my love to her than asking that. It doesn't seem like she's doing it consciously... it's more like mood-dependant I think. I could be totally wrong though... how would I know heh? Whatever... I'm planning to ask her out in the course of the next week. I'll see what happens and I'm pretty sure it'll either all be uphill or downhill from then on.

peace.