A Message to Anyone, Version 20.0 Options

[xTINAA]

Dear You,
I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house. That don’t bother me. I can take a few tears now and then and just let them out. I’m not afraid to cry every once in a while. Even though going on with you gone still upsets me, there are days every now and again I pretend I’m ok, but that’s not what gets me. What hurts the most was being so close and having so much to say and watching you walk away and never knowing what could have been and not seeing that loving you is what I was tryin’ to do. It’s hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, but I’m doin’ it. It’s hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I’m alone, still harder, getting up, getting dressed, livin’ with this regret but I know if I could do it over, I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart, that I left unspoken.
I love you. God, I really love you and I really want you here with me. I want to be there for you. Phillip, you're what I want and I'm absolutely sure I love you yet I don't get why this has to hurt so much and why you don't love me back. What did I do? Or is it what I didn't? It's not the same without you. I can't be like this. I can't even go out and have fun without thinking about you. Tonight I went clubbing and all I could think about is how I wish you could have came but then again, we'd have to be talking for that to happen. And I was thinking how I wish the guy dancing with me was you. I really don't want to go prom. At all. I don't want to go unless I can go with you. I know myself. I know I'm not going to have a great time unless you're there - I know. That's how I am. Why is it that you can go out and have so much fun and not think about me? Is it because you're always high? Is that it? Maybe I should go out and become a stoner. Man, I don't know what to do. People are telling me to leave it alone, other people are telling me do something. What do I listen to? I wish I knew. It seems no matter which way I go, I lose, nothing happens. Either I leave it alone and nothing ever happens or I try to talk to you and still nothing happens. So I thought that if those were the odds then at least I should be trying, right? But then people say I seem desperate and whatever else. But it's honestly not like that. If I wanted to I could go out with some other guy, but I don't. I haven't lost all hope for you and me even if I probably should have and even if that hope is really, really, really tiny. I don't know though. Maybe I am being desperate - I mean if that's how people percieve it, then why wouldn't you? Ugh I don't know. I don't freaking know. I'm just really hurting, still, I'm crying all the time, I'm never really happy...I don't know what to do...
I think I'm going to ask you to prom. God, I'm scared shitless to even think about asking and even though I might anticipate hearing you say no or completely ignoring me in the first place, it still will hurt. I don't even know if hearing you say yes would be a good thing either. I'm so confused, it's crazy. My mind is bouncing from topic to topic and comtemplating everything possible and always thinking about you and aglrkjalkgj. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. What am I supposed to do????????? I love you. I call you. I IM you. I message you. NOTHING. Nothing..how can I get nothing in response? It must mean you don't care but I can't submit myself to that answer. I can't fully believe you don't care. People say, "Well he did care but he must not anymore." NO. I can't believe that. It can't be like that. Phillip, please. This sucks. Doesn't it suck for you too...?
-Me.

[ANG33ZY]

you're awesome too.

[*danielle_x3*]

no matter what happens, life goes on and on.. so baaby, just smile, cos im always around you and ill make you see how beautiful life is for you and me `=)

[*xcaitlinx*]

______,

wtf? why did i have a dream about you last night? and one like...that. i do NOT have any feelings for you anymore and i know that. i know that dreams don't mean anything, but still. i shouldn't be dreaming about you, especially dreams like that...get out of my life! stop iming me, stop talking to me in school, stop existing all together!

baby,

i thought about what we were talking about last night and i truly believe that i'm ready. i know that this is a serious thing to talk about for both of us, and right now i haven't felt better about our relationship. when you left for florida, my feelings were completely out on the table and my love for you is stronger than ever. i know in my heart that i will love you and be with you forever, like you said. well you should be calling me soon, so ill talk to you about this then. i love you so much corey<3

[pbear]

it's feeling a lot like last time, but this time, i have this huge, bubbling hope all jittery and scared in the bottom of my stomach and it's still here, after all those doubts.

[me1issaaaa]

___ - Thank you for the offer... I do see potential between us, but I think we need to wait a little before you call me your girlfriend, deal?

____ - Boy, you've had my heart fly. I've felt invinsible. I've felt like it could never get better. I became so sure of the idea of us getting married and having children together - it just felt so right. I know you felt the same. But you shattered my heart, my soul, my everything. I suffered every hour of every day. You will never, ever understand what you put me through, because I could never do that to you. In all honesty, the way you treated me makes me think sometimes that I shouldn't give you a second chance. I am so confused. We can try to put all of the little broken pieces of what we had back together, but there will always be chips missing in it. Stop putting everything on me. I know it's my decision, but you're pressuring me to get back together with you NOW. I'm not ready to have another relationship with you now. I need time.

[*jooleeah*]

_____: ah. i wish i knew you better.
______: goddamn. youre so f**king annoying. just leave me alone. -.-

[*Intoxique*]

____,
Jealous much?

[*My Cinderella.*]

I know another fight's gonna occur if I dont get my butt online.

[Rachel]

Crissy-
Listen to James Blunt- Goodbye My Lover

And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.


If everything you see, hear, and do reminds you of me, then why don't you want to be with me? If it hurts you to think of me when a song comes on the radio, why won't you just come back to me? Why won't you let me in again? I don't want a serious relationship, I just want you. I want you to voice that you do have feelings for me, that they aren't a waste of time just because of college. I don't care about that. Right now, I just want to be happy again. I am so sick of crying and not being able to move on because nothing feels quite as good as you did. Other boys don't have the butterfly affect on me. When they kiss me, I just think about you and how it feels so bad that it's not you. Whenever we kiss, I still get tingles, I still know that it is right. With the other boys, I feel knots, I can't wait to pull away. Why? Why can't I either move on or just be with you? Please, either stop saying that you do have feelings for me but it is not worth it to be with me or say you are done. Don't tell me that you think of me all the time and it is so hard to deal with. Just say you are over me. It may hurt now, but maybe I can finally let go.

[*My Cinderella.*]

Just cause I'm afraid to go online...

[*stephinika*]

Call me and get here already... Sigh. Fine then. A movie is more important to finish, even though you've SEEN IT BEFORE. Whatever. You know, I'm always so excited to see you. I leave right on time, if not early to be with you. Meh.

[*Intoxique*]

____,
Why the f**k do you have to ask me that everyday? You are starting to annoy the f**k outta me. Give me some f**king room. Damnit.

_________,
I miss you so much. I seriously can't stop thinking about you but when I got you I don't want you. I want you but I also don't want you at the same time. I don't know what I want.

[*jooleeah*]

_______: I'm wondering how you moved on so quickly. Was it that easy, to forget us all? What about all our memories...gah, this always happens every fcking year. UGHSHSDKHFSD.

[mylittleMiracle]

______,
i miss u guys!4days left and then we can meet each other!=D

[cheerbee07]

you- it's about time he asked you out! i'm so happy for you!!! i must say that it kinda messes up the movie plan though..

you- pretty please ask your parents...otherwise they'll be ticked and not let you go. i won't go without you. but hey, maybe we could do something else that night instead of going to prom if you're not allowed. ...and maybe things can go a bit farther this week? too bad i'll only be there 3 days...i'm going to miss you this weekend....maybe you could call me? (hint, hint). lol. it's ok, i understand how shy you are.

you & you-- i just know that you guys will be the most awesome roommates ever

[*Intoxique*]

______,
I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. Stfu & die f**king prick.

____,
I am starting to hate you too.

[SimplicityGirl]

I didn't want it to be like this. If you had told me that I'd lose the friendship with her over him a few months earlier, I'd say you were lying and making things up. Correction: if you had told me that I'd lose a friend over a dispute over a guy, I'd never would've believed you in a million years. Because, that's just the kind of things I'd never thought I'd do. Friends over guys right? Like that cliched saying "Chicks over dicks". But I don't know what happened here. Who am I kidding? I do know. And you don't know how much I just want to turn the clock back to one month earlier, and undo all the things that was done. Erase all the stuff that was said. And all that.

But we can't do that. But you have to admit it, you are being unreasonable. You control him too much. You do not own him. You like him. Yes I understand that. But that doesn't give you the right to decide who his friends are, or what he does in his spare time. So what if we went out for ice cream? Both of us saw it purely as a friends only thing, nothing more and nothing less. I mean sure...it looked like we stepped over the line that divides friends from more than friends, but if both of us only saw it as friends, then why should it matter so much to you? If you truly love him as you keep on claiming that you do, then you would've understand it. Instead of bitching about it.

I'm sorry that it has to come to this. But you know I won't stop being his friend. You know that. So why would you even think that I would comply with your requests? What gives you the right to tell me to stop going out with him, even as friends? He doesn't have a problem with it, only you do. If he wasn't comfortable with it, he'd say no to me. But he went with me anyway. So really I don't see any problems. Girl, you need to control your jealousy bitchings. You like him, fine, go ahead, I don't give, but give him the right to have friends who are girls. You're allowed to flirt and have guy friends, so why can't he have friends that are girls? Tell me why. You may not realize it, but you are being extremely unreasonable in this. To an extent, I may be too.

And about the part of him liking me. I can't help that can I? I didn't purposely tried to get his attention you know. I even told him that I only liked him as a friend. But really, you can't control feelings. How's it my fault if he found me to be easier to talk to? How's it my fault if he found me to be more fun to be with? I mean, unlike you, I don't exactly depend and cling onto him for emotional support. And I don't flip out when he doesn't talk to me. Honestly. Maybe he likes my easy going nature. I can't help that. I am like that with everybody.

I'll admit it. I did like him. But I knew it was wrong to like him. So I stopped. And I never thought that he COULD like me...because I knew he was sorta with you. So I didn't think twice about the stuff that he did. But now that I think about it, it all seems to scream that he likes me. And that doesn't help the situation at all. I'm trying ever so hard to NOT like him back. But it's hard. It's hard because he's really nice to me. You'd know what I mean. You fell for him because of what he's like.

I feel like a bitch. Maybe I am one. I mean, who'd go and take her friend's guy away? Maybe I didn't do it on purpose, but that's more or less what happened. And all I can say is: I'm sorry. Even that doesn't cut it. I wish me and him had never become friends, and maybe I wouldn't've lost a friend.

[silver-rain]

Haaate. I fking hate you and your stupid fking questions that are none of your business! Seriously, get yourself out of my life. I cannot wait till I get out of here and move into college. Stop fking ruining my life just because you never had one. Go back to China and stay there; no one wants you here anyways. I really do wish sometimes that you would just die.

[NgocQuyen]

just admit you were being a complete a*hole to me.........
you need to apoligize...

[*My Cinderella.*]

I hope you don't plan on checking in now and then to see what I post. That would really suck and I would feel ackward.

[*My Cinderella.*]

What is it about you that doesn't make me wanna scream back? What is it about you that makes my heart race when I see your IM? Is it because I'm afraid?

[eccentricity]

Do you like me? I sometimes get the feeling you do... I really wish you'd call me just to talk or .. for any reason. I wish you'd talk to me in person more than anything. I wish you'd IM me first too. I wish for so many things from you, but what I really want is just for you to talk to me, online eve, about anything and for you to open up.

[iDecay]

_,
Why does this seem so much like old times? I miss the old times, before you went off and acted like, well you know. Let's keep it this way.

_,
Argh. You haven't called me yet. Argh!

[*stephinika*]

Tonight was fun. Ilu. Hehe...yay for digicam pics!