developing a crush on a close friend?, first time this has happened to me Options

[lexaa621]

yeah so i've known this girl for about 3 years. last summer we became pretty good friends, and gradually we've gotten closer and closer to each other. i was never really attracted to her or desperate to meet her or anything, but she ended up becoming one of my best friends. a few weeks ago my other friend told me she thinks this girl likes me. i had never thought about it before. after i realized she could possibly like me, i realized it would actually make me happy if she did. then i kinda started liking her. but now it feels like it was a mistake. i'm starting to think theres no way she could like me anymore than a friend. she kinda stopped doing things that could imply she likes me. i kinda wanted to admit to her how i felt, but i was scared it could screw up our friendship, and make things awkward if it turned out she never liked me that way. i ended up telling her i had a crush on a friend, but i wasnt sure what to do about it. we talked about it and she gave me advice and all that, not knowing it was her i was talking about. i'm not sure if it was a good idea for me to bring that up.

i'm not sure if this post is making sense, but i was hoping some people could give me advice whether or not to admit to this girl that i kinda like her. i'm not gonna bother giving signs that imply she likes me cuz then everyone will most likely be like "oh yeah she definitely likes you" so instead i'll give things she does that show she DOESNT like me:

-she says she doesnt have a crush on anyone and thinks liking someone is a pain in the ass
-when i joke around saying how sexy i am she calls me delusional
-she used to talk to me a lot on AIM and would talk to me when she was supposed to be working but now i almost always have to IM her first

ehh.
props to anyone who reads all this.
advice please?

[*mipadi*]

So you like her, but don't want to tell her. The best way to deal with this is to figure out why you don't want to tell her.

First, go through and think of all the reasons you don't want to tell her. Write them down. Seriously. Take some time—fifteen, twenty minutes of thinking, maybe even more. Come up with a good, complete list.

Now, look at all those reasons and decide if any of them are valid. Do they make sense, or are you just avoiding telling her because it is the "easy" way out? Are there any strong, legitimate reasons for not telling her?

Make a list of reasons why it would be a good idea to tell her. Compare them to your refined list of reasons not to, and then decide if it is a good idea.

The key here is to figure out why you are not doing what you think you should do. You want to tell her, but you haven't yet, and you're afraid to. So figure out why you're afraid to tell her. Specific reasons, not vague reasons. That might help you come to a decision.

Good luck.

[Respudious]

Not revealing your feelings toward someone because you don't want to screw up the relationship is always a tough decision. Just weigh the options...

You could not do anything and end up with a good friend who is there for anything, but never have the chance at a potentially real special relationship on an intimate level.

or you could take a chance and express yourself to her, and maybe getting those same feelings in return.

If she is a good friend, and she doesn't like you, things should only be awkward for a little while. After a week or 2 if you guys are close like you say things should return back to normal, although she's gonna now know that you think of her like that. As long as you don't give her an ultimatum like 'be my girlfriend or nothing at all' then you should be fine.

[lexaa621]

hmm i'm gonna make a list like mipadi said.

dont want to tell because:
-it hard for me to believe she likes me, especially now since it seems like shes changed a little
-she'll most likely not like me back
-it'll probably make things awkward between us for a while
-i'm nervous
-i have to see her pretty often so if i admitted feelings to her she'll probably view me differently after i told her

yeah...i'm thinking i'll wait a couple weeks and see how i feel, and if i still think i like her i'll just admit it to her.

[*Programmer*]

come strait out and tell her...confideince is a big thing....

[JustAnotherTeena...]

I'm in pretty much the same situation. Except with a guy since I'm a girl. Same stuff happened to me, we were really good friends for awhile until things suddenly changed and I always have to talk to him first and what not and I'm super nervous and afraid of awkwardness and rejection. I'm planning on just taking a wild chance at the end of the schoolyear and telling him how I feel though.

If you really do like her you should tell her. You'll never know otherwise and have all sorts of 'what ifs'. Just suck it up one day when the time seems right and tell her. Sorry, I dunno if this helps at all or not, I know it's much easier to say than do.. But hey, often when a person realizes that they like someone they get all nervous and quiet around them and don't know what to say..so they don't say anything. Resulting in a weird change of behaviour and disguising of feelings.

[lexaa621]

hmm yeah i think this weird change of behavior could affect our friendship anyways. i think i'll end up telling her how i feel. thanks for the advice guys.

[*disco infiltrator*]

Yea, I would definitely tell her how you feel. If she's a good person, she'll be understanding and it won't have an effect on your friendship. My best friend told me a while ago that they really like me, and it hasn't affected our friendship at all. We're still best friends and he's friends with my boyfriend.

[lexaa621]

is it best to tell her in person? or does it matter if it's online or on the phone or something..
i'm thinking i'll wait a week or so to tell her. i'm kinda hoping these feelings will go away by then...

[shalalalaLOVERx3]

LOL, the same thing happened to me. Me & him were best friends & then i started to like him. But he told me that he had a crush on another girl. I was scared he didn`t like me back so i pretended i didn`t care about him. Pretty soon, we just began talking less and less & we just lost touch. A few weeks later, i found out that he did like me all along. Well, now its too late for me ..

So what i`m trying to say is, just be honest with her and tell her! Maybe she likes you too and is just afraid of rejection. I mean if you don`t take the chance now it might just slip away like it did for me.