We just dont see eye to eye on this subject..., Religion |
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 Apr 9 2006, 12:48 PM
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#1
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 Senior Member  Group: Member Posts: 2,614 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,903  |
Ok, I have this problem with my boyfriend that he dosen't have the same feelings in God as I do. I love him deeply and I want this relationship to last for a long time to come. I know what some people reading this and are saying to them selfs "Why dose religion matter if you love somebody so much?". It dose for the future. Im just saying what happends if some day when I do wanna get married and have kids with my boyfriend how would we rase our kids and if there around a father that dosen't see eye to eye about the same religion as I do how will our kids life turn out to be. You people are also saying to your selfs " Your still young! Why are you worrying about this now at this time of your life?". Im really not sure why im thinking about this now but hey! its something to reply on! Im also not saying that I will be with this guy for the rest of my life but I must say its been 7 months already and I still cant get him to go to my church with me. What do I do?
O by the way. I didnt know where to put this at and If it needs to be put so where else then put where it needs to be! 
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Apr 9 2006, 12:55 PM
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#2
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 My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
Relationships is the perfect place for this to be. Anyway, you need to respect your boyfriend's religion (or lack of) the way he respects yours. He may not want to go to your church. That's his decision; respect it. And you really shouldn't be worrying about how to raise your children. Worry about those kinds of things when it actually happens. Otherwise you'll be stressing yourself out for no reason.
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Apr 9 2006, 12:58 PM
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#3
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,614 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,903 |
That is true. I do have to say that I respect him and his lack of religion. Its just earatating me.
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| *Blow_Don't_SUCK* |
Apr 9 2006, 01:39 PM
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#4
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QUOTE(oX_Muh_Nirvana_Xo @ Apr 9 2006, 1:58 PM)  That is true. I do have to say that I respect him and his lack of religion. Its just earatating me. haha this reminds me of my conversation with Nate about Jesus  irritating -Shelby  Well you really have to respect each other's religion. That's why when I hang out with friends or guys I never bring up religion. It can lead to a huge fight. If you really do care for him, you wouldn't try to change who he is, if he wants to be a Jew, he can be a Jew, if he wants to be a Muslim, he can be a Muslim, if he wants to be an atheist, he can be an atheist. Not everyone has to agree on you with religion. Just try to be more considerate and tolerant of his choice of religion. Overtime, you'll get used to it and it won't bother you. Just don't make it a habbit to argue about religion.
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Apr 9 2006, 01:46 PM
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#5
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 dakishimetainoni... Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,322 Joined: Dec 2004 Member No: 75,318 |
I understand what you mean about having different religions. The guy I'm seeing is Jewish and I'm supposed to be Christian but I'm indifferent. One of the reasons why he doesn't want to take the next step and make our relationship more serious is because of the religion thing.
You should respect each other religions like what Paradox of Life said. Don't try to convert him if he doesn't want to. Just tell him that you want to raise the kids with whatever religion you have. He doesn't have to be that religion as well, he just needs to agree and support it. |
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Apr 9 2006, 02:05 PM
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#6
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 oooh yeah. Group: Member Posts: 1,333 Joined: Feb 2006 Member No: 376,533 |
I agree with what everyone's said, Shelby. And aren't you like, my age? o.O Why are you thinking about children? If you want to have a religion, go ahead. Respect your boyfriend's belief, because that's what relationships are all about; respect, trust and commitment.
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| *mipadi* |
Apr 9 2006, 02:05 PM
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#7
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You're thinking too far into the future. Live in the present. If you like the guy, don't worry about it. You don't know if you are going to marry him and have kids, so don't worry about that until it becomes an issue.
I think two people can get along fine, even if they have different religious beliefs. One of my closest friends is very religious, and I'm an atheist, and yet everything works out fine between us. It's not like we even have to dance around religion; the subject comes up sometimes, and we even spent a lot of time talking about it. He knows my views, and I know his, and we respect each other for it. There's plenty more about a person than his religous beliefs, so I wouldn't worry about it until it really becomes a problem. |
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Apr 9 2006, 02:07 PM
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#8
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 3,657 Joined: Nov 2004 Member No: 64,493 |
i agree with chii and paradox of life.
you do need to respect what he wants to do.religion wise. i mean why worry about what your kids will become next time. it's up to them anyways isn't it? |
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| *Teenage Mutant Ninja Meg* |
Apr 9 2006, 05:39 PM
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#9
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If there's anything I really hate, it's when people try to force their religion on me. He has a right to say no to going to church, and you should respect that just the way he respects your beliefs. There is no need for stressing over family issues. Just go with the flow, girl!
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Apr 9 2006, 05:42 PM
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#10
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 64 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 78,893 |
Well, here's the thing.
Both my parents were raised as strict Christians. When I was three, my Dad became atheist after years of parental oppression, and my Mom left the church because she thought it was too close-minded of a religion. My parents are split now, and I live with my atheist father. A year ago, I talked about going to a youth group or sunday services and my Mom kind of laughed at me, so I never told my Dad. I started dating a guy who was atheist, and gave up my religion for the time being. Now that I have left him I realize that I should have stuck to my religion. My mom is okay with it now, and I still haven't told my Dad that I believe in God. My parents didn't take me to church and I am still finding God in my own ways, so if you have children together I'm sure they will too. My biggest point is, I don't think I should have given up religion for my ex. And I don't think you should force your ex to give up/take up anything he doesn't want to, because a person's beliefs(or lack of) get them through life. If you two get along fine, then don't worry about descrepancies like church or children, because everything will work out on its own. wait. you're still dating him. woops. |
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Apr 9 2006, 06:13 PM
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#11
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,614 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,903 |
QUOTE(zomgznoway @ Apr 9 2006, 2:05 PM) I agree with what everyone's said, Shelby. And aren't you like, my age? o.O Why are you thinking about children? If you want to have a religion, go ahead. Respect your boyfriend's belief, because that's what relationships are all about; respect, trust and commitment. So whatr I look to the future big deal.. Also. Im not forcing him to do anything he dosent want to do... but!! I do like what somebody said at the bottom .. im forget who and im just to lazy to look down and see who said it lol  Just tell him that I want to have the children have my religion and he should respect what I want. Right?O by the way hes Budhist... O_o |
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Apr 9 2006, 06:16 PM
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#12
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 Hello There. Group: Member Posts: 1,572 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 88,673 |
i agree w/ Chii and paradox of life also.
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Apr 9 2006, 06:32 PM
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#13
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Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 2,614 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 85,903 |
yeah.. I just need to sit down with him when the time comes and talk to him about how I feel.
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| *mipadi* |
Apr 10 2006, 02:11 PM
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#14
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QUOTE(oX_Muh_Nirvana_Xo @ Apr 9 2006, 7:32 PM) yeah.. I just need to sit down with him when the time comes and talk to him about how I feel. If the religion of the kids is what worries you, what's the necessity in having such a discussion anytime soon? |
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Apr 10 2006, 03:44 PM
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#15
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My name's Katt. Nice to meet you! Group: Member Posts: 3,826 Joined: Jan 2005 Member No: 93,674 |
^ Yeah. I think you should just let the situation sit a few more months, even years. Most likely the issue of how you're going to raise your children will come up when it truly does become an issue. Having a serious discussion about having children will probably worry or even frighten your boyfriend.
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Apr 10 2006, 03:55 PM
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#16
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Member Group: Member Posts: 20 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 392,699 |
Nah I think if you have a long relationship w/ a person (6 mo. or more prolly) you should be able to look in the future and see yourself with them. If not, then what's the point of the relationship? I know some date for fun, and I'm not saying you should look for your future spouse in every boy or girl you date, but shouldnt you be able to see yourself married to the person you are with?
Right now it doesn't seem like it's a big deal, you should just respect the fact he doesn't appreciate religion like you. In fact, the more you press about the subject the more annoyed he may become. If things do get more serious then perhaps its time to confront the situation, until then have fun and relax. |
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Apr 11 2006, 09:01 PM
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#17
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Newbie Group: Member Posts: 7 Joined: Apr 2006 Member No: 393,186 |
[size=3][color=#6600CC]Hi,sorry to hear that your having troubles but as a christian, you may know the scripture in the bible that say "do not be unequally yoked" Everyone has the right to choice of religion, whether to partake of it or not but your problems will not get any better with your bf......if he dosnt believe, then that's his right but you should not be dating someone that dosnt hold the same views as your christian values. If you were to date a christian guy, then there would be no probs come sundays and going to church, you would have much more incommon conversationally also. Look...Im a christian and Ive been unequally yoked with partners in the past and it always leads to people getting hurt and alot of frustration being built up. Do not sell you religion just for the sake of a relationship and when getting married, marry a christian man who will hold the same values for your children that you will have instead of running the risk of being at logger heads with every decision concerning future children. I'm really sorry if your hurting over the choices you've made, but there is always a price to pay for all the choices we make in life.
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Apr 11 2006, 09:12 PM
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#18
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to hell with you Group: Member Posts: 2,547 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,506 |
you cant force him to go to church. that may be pushing your intention farther and farther away from you. if you really think that your religon is more important then your relationship then leave him. after all, it is easier for him to pull you down tham for you to pull him up.
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Apr 12 2006, 04:27 PM
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#19
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 You know what that is? It's called love. Group: Member Posts: 150 Joined: Oct 2005 Member No: 255,095 |
okay, well, my Dad doesn't believe in God but my mom does. She told my dad before they got married that we would have to be raised believing in God and then when we were odler, we could decide whether or not we liked the religion we were in or leave it. Now my sister believes it, but I'm not 100% sure I do. So I told my parents that and they are understanding.
Maybe you should just raise them as one religion, but then teach them the other as well and let them decide. Maybe NEITHER of your religions is the one they believe in anyway. You never know. |
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| *swtcherriipie* |
Apr 12 2006, 04:37 PM
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#20
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QUOTE(oX_Muh_Nirvana_Xo @ Apr 9 2006, 1:48 PM) Ok, I have this problem with my boyfriend that he dosen't have the same feelings in God as I do. I love him deeply and I want this relationship to last for a long time to come. I know what some people reading this and are saying to them selfs "Why dose religion matter if you love somebody so much?". It dose for the future. Im just saying what happends if some day when I do wanna get married and have kids with my boyfriend how would we rase our kids and if there around a father that dosen't see eye to eye about the same religion as I do how will our kids life turn out to be. You people are also saying to your selfs " Your still young! Why are you worrying about this now at this time of your life?". Im really not sure why im thinking about this now but hey! its something to reply on! Im also not saying that I will be with this guy for the rest of my life but I must say its been 7 months already and I still cant get him to go to my church with me. What do I do? O by the way. I didnt know where to put this at and If it needs to be put so where else then put where it needs to be! You know EVERYTHING you just posted up there? Let him read that or tell him, tell him how you feel about marrige and kids and E X P L A I N WHY religion is so important to you. Sometimes its hard but if your relation sip is/and or dose get serious this is an issue you two should really clear up... 
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Apr 12 2006, 05:08 PM
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#21
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You know what that is? It's called love. Group: Member Posts: 150 Joined: Oct 2005 Member No: 255,095 |
^
I agree, show him that! |
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