Spanking Children, does it solve anything? Options

[xoxo_proud]

I think it depends on what kind of child you have. Some children might stop doing something (like throwing a tantrum) after they spanked; some kids might be more stubborn. I also think there are other ways just as effective as spanking. But I'm not a parent yet so I'm not going to say "Well spanking is wrong!" because it's not and how am I to know? I dont have a child yet.

[D1SMANTLED]

i didnt read through much of the debate so far, so im sorry if i repeat anything anyone said. but honestly i dont think it teaches them right from wrong. It only makes them not do that bad deed again just out of fear they're going to get spanked again. Its productive, but it doesnt teach them right from wrong. It just scares some shit into them.

[jue]

i guess like maybe doing it like once in a while can't be too bad. But if its a daily routine then i feel there are better ways to disciplin a child.

[*xcaitlinx*]

it does not cause fear. i'm not only gonna spank my kids i'm gonna f**k them up till they get the point not to misbehave. not only am i teaching them a lesson in manners but i'd also be toughening them up for the future so they dont end up like most of the p**sies on this site

just shut up...now.


i agree with chaneun on this one. i was never spanked as a child...and i would think that being spanked would scare the child into not misbehaving ever again instead of teaching them right from wrong. yeah, they may not have the brain capacity to fully understand why what they are doing is wrong, but do you think using force can be justified from that? abuse or not, i still think that it's not a very smart way to discipline your kid. i know that my little brother (he's 4) used to throw tantrums in stores and other public places, and my mom didn't resort to smacking him in front of everyone. she also didn't scream at him like most parents do. my mom simply ignored him and showed that him crying and screaming didn't affect her. after just a few minutes, he would stop crying because his attempt to get a reaction out of her failed. this shows that spanking your child isn't the only/best way to punish your child.

[lilith]

heck no

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

maybe depends...

[Smoogrish]

Depends what they did, but for the most part, I don't think it's good. I've never been spanked before (my mom and dad are awesome), but if I got spanked, it would just make me hate my mom and dad and possibly be scared.

Yeah, definitely scared.

[Yemmerz]

OH HELL YES.

Now, I'm going to look like a big racist with this one. But we know it's true.

Foreign kids vs. Americans

Its true that most of the time, foreign kids have a lot better manners toward their parents then American kids do. The big factor in this is the fact that other cultures believe in spanking a child, where as in the US, we seem to believe in the psychological disapline. I personally think if you use both equally, you can have a great kid. But using one over the other makes either a bitter kid or a bitch kid. When I think about my friends, the foreign kids seem to be a lot more well behaved at school and at home because they have the home training from their parents that they got from their country when they were younger. The kids that are American usually get attitudes with their teachers and really don't give a shit about some stuff.

I think I was generalizing, but I'm hoping someone agrees with me here.

[*Teenage Mutant Ninja Meg*]

Anything physical that is meant to hurt the child out of doing something, in my opinion, is completely wrong. If my child was acting up, I'd start by limitting his activities, taking things from him and whatnot. Children can become afraid of you if you spank them continuously. My dad was quite physical with me when I was little, and I'm still afraid of him sometimes.

[*My Cinderella.*]

I think spanking is a good idea. It also depends though, I wouldn't want to over due the spanking and start spanking my child for every little mistake. But if they did something wrong and is in need of being taught a lesson bring on the spanking. It'll make them realize that it's not something they should repeat.

[xosteffanator]

No my dad used to do it to me and i would cry so hard!
I think a time out is better

[Yemmerz]

Time outs make kids bratty.
I say both together, not abusing the kid here -_-;;, works well.

[*swtcherriipie*]

Everyone has to see that they way YOU were raised affects the way you raise your children..ALOT. My parents spanked me all the time but all they proved was that they lost their patience and my annoyance got to them. Indeed parents are suppose to teach their childern right from wrong but not by inflicting any kind of pain upon them. Then again thats just me. Im going to try my hardest NOT to spank my chlred and loose my cool all i will do is the (1 2 3 T I M E-O U T) technique. I hope people are RATIONAL about raising and disciplining their kids.

[flc]

^ Yeah.

I know that when I was little and got spanked, I knew I wasn't going to do whatever I was doing again for fear of being spanked, not because I realized at that age that what I was doing was wrong.

[rainbowish]

My parents have never spanked/slapped/grounded/ or severly punished me. I am a junior in high school... good grades... respectful.

So I dont think that spanking really does anything... its kinda stupid and shouldnt be alloweed.

[flc]

Well I don't really think there's any way you can stop it..but I just hate it when parents take their whiny kids to the grocery store and then spank them when they start acting up. It's like, you know your child is a complainer..leave them at home with a babysitter. Plus it's just common courtesy to other customers.

Same thing with church. Don't bring your loud obnoxious child with you. People go there to pray, not to listen to your kid screaming. >.<

[*mipadi*]

The implication that any parent who spanks their child is "losing his cool" is not entirely accurate. It's incorrect to suggest that spanking alone will teach a child right from wrong, but just because a child is spanked does not mean he will only fear the punishment and not understand right and wrong. I was occasionally spanked as a child and I grew up to learn right from wrong just fine—and I would never categorize my parents as "losing their patience".

Everyone has to see that they way YOU were raised affects the way you raise your children..ALOT. My parents spanked me all the time but all they proved was that they lost their patience and my annoyance got to them. Indeed parents are suppose to teach their childern right from wrong but not by inflicting any kind of pain upon them. Then again thats just me. Im going to try my hardest NOT to spank my chlred and loose my cool all i will do is the (1 2 3 T I M E-O U T) technique. I hope people are RATIONAL about raising and disciplining their kids.

[*swtcherriipie*]

My parents have never spanked/slapped/grounded/ or severly punished me. I am a junior in high school... good grades... respectful.

So I dont think that spanking really does anything... its kinda stupid and shouldnt be alloweed.

Really good point but how would you handle an out of control child? I mean its not like all kids have good grades and are respectfull right? Behh i WISH all little kids were like that but the sad truth is deppending on how YOU were raised affects the way you raise your children.. Thtas just me.. (again) lol.

[demolished]

Spanking does solve problems, not all of it but ... spanking more than enough can cripple a child's self-esteem, affections, memory, and parent awareness.

When i was a child, both of my brothers accused me of breaking things. My mother would ram my head against the floor, crush my head against the smith, smack me with a long tree stick filled pointy thorns, slap me in the face, and so much more.

i grew up so without much family love. I only grew with drama. I was almost completely on my own. I no longer feel loved or care by anyone in the family because whatever bad happens to me, my mother tells EVERYONE about how terrible i was, especially my classmate's mother, teacher, relatives, staff members, and all. I end up being a "loner" due to obvious reasons. What else? It affected my social skills and self-image. How did it affect me?

- I got flat dead cheeks, stretch marks between my eyes, and more stretch marks above my eye browns, and what else? Oh yeah, i wear hearing aids which is an electronic hearing device that helps me to hear better by increasing distance in my environment. So ... what do I look like right now? Personally, i look like CRAP. Recently, my moms directly shove the fact that she kept to herself in my face, “you're not attractive".


- i have a lot of difficulty with communication. I'm very awfully quiet and tranquil back in the days. My English skills are terrible. This is why I’m ELD classes for about eight years in school. Do you know what I realize? I’m like … the only one in H.S who was born here and cannot use proper English unlike 99.9% Americans in H.S. Even fobs can speak 1000000000000 times better than me in about just four years. I mean, cbers … look at me, do I type like a fob that cannot use “right” English? I’m sure you do, right? How many grammatical errors do you see?

I lost my family spirit through the years for every holiday such Chinese New Year, birthday, and special occasions. Whenever i had family dinner, I am always being humiliated by family, they would have conversations about my looks, school, how stupid i am, what i did wrong in the past, and how much i "grew" from this so called "mistake". There was so much nonsense going through my mind while i was quiet.
Therefore, I am used to being "hated" and “judged” for who I am.

I never mean anything much to my parent. All the” similes” and “happiness” that they saw ... were so believably fake, not real. It was all about drama. Yes, DRAMA.


At this point of my life, I am not a typical happy Chinese boy. I do not even like my dad at ALL than my mom. There are times when I just hated my mother for her lame attitude toward me. Sheesh, she needs to calm down and listen, stop going ballistic on herself. Another thing was … when my brother announces a trip for the entire male in the family; I automatically react to saying negative things to my brother such as “no “ … “father …eh?”, and “ I don’t want father to come along with us”.

Well, that's too bad for the family. It is such a big ashamed for me to be in it. I'm already a messed-up negative child. I do things that i want to do ... I never do things for the sake of family, never. I'm badly influenced and rise by parents who is completely ALMOST illiterate in America which means, my parents aren’t well uneducated due to restrictions, poor society, or drugs problems.

As a result from living with a family, i consider myself a spoil brat who doesn’t appreciate much in the family. I just take things and not thinking back. Why? Like I say, spanking can cause social abilities and self-image (scars) which involves with bad memory. Another thing is that it destroys my basic judgments of what’s right or wrong.

Therefore, parents are children's basic needs. Parents are naturally the one who settle examples for their kids. Parents are the one who shape children's personality and interests. Somewhere in the future, kids will transform their personality to something that is suitable for themselves.
Yeah, I somewhat “transform” this traits to something else base on who I am.
For an example:

If you're a horrible BAD parent (does drugs, bad parties all night, and etc ...), you'll most likely have a weak child who will struggle in school education.


This is why i think parent should be more ... understandings?

[flc]

^ That's terrible. I'm really sorry.

[priyas]

its so stupid. and its kinda abusive.

[flc]

Yeah, that kind of brings up a question: where would you draw the line between disciplinary actions and abusive?

[*SuzieRawkSoxx*]

See... Its just not ok to spank your children... It traumatizes them.

EX: the other day i was in the car with my sister and her daughter and she was going to fix her daughters seat belt and the little girl screammed and raised her hands as if to protect herself we were all like wtf? when we asked her why she did it she said because she thought her mommy was going to hit her...

Quite sad yes it is..

[mastashake15]

spanking solves many problems. my parents did spank me and i learned from that. i never did that awful thing again. but nowadays they would just talk to me and i would get along fine and they understand me and vise versa. its like a trade off or a negotiation. maybe without spanking i would have turned out like those kids from like nanny 911 or something cuz i was pretty bad as a child but i turned out just fine

[demolished]

See... Its just not ok to spank your children... It traumatizes them.

EX: the other day i was in the car with my sister and her daughter and she was going to fix her daughters seat belt and the little girl screammed and raised her hands as if to protect herself we were all like wtf? when we asked her why she did it she said because she thought her mommy was going to hit her...

Quite sad yes it is..

O__O I HAVE THAT EXPERIENCE OF BEING THAT CHILD ! ALL MY REASONS FOR BEING AFRAID IS BECAUSE OF MY PARENT'S SYSTEM OF ABUSE, NOTHING ELSE.