asdfj; untitled |
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 Mar 20 2006, 10:42 PM
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#1
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 <3  Group: Member Posts: 185 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 365,309  |
Today she woke up feeling different. New. She had a smile on her face and a sort of skip in her steps. No one seemed to notice this sudden happiness, but it didn't matter, 'cause she noticed it and it felt great.
"Hey," Rachael always walked with her to class. "Hey you," she was surprised by her own voice. "Ugh, I don't wanna go to summer school anymore." "Same here, but whatever." The day went by faster than usual and she found herself at home on the phone talking to Donald. They had planned this night for a while. Larry was on the other line, and so were Robin and Vanessa. It wasn't going well at all. "Dude, just ask her out already!" said Robin. "Yeah, or else I will," Donald joked. "Haha, aw, just go for it!" Vanessa always laughed. Too much for her taste. She didn't know Vanessa or Robin, but it didn't matter, she just listened, Larry had no idea she was there. Sooner or later she interupted and it was only her and him. His voice squeaked and she giggled. "Yes." The night was beautiful. Two hours later they were still talking, and they were both looking up at the stars. They seemed to forget they were miles away from each other. The sky somehow brought them closer at mind. "They look beautiful tonight.." "They do." She wanted to say so much more but she decided to let it go. There would be other conversations, maybe some "I love you's" if they lasted longer, she cried herself to sleep. Tears of joy for the first time. She knew she'd found him. He found her. Her previous heartbreak had vanished completely. He made her happier than ever, and she knew no matter what happened later, she'd still be thankful for the moment. ---------- Dedicated to Larry Della [: my ex. My best friend. & my first love<3 Sep3005. |
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Mar 21 2006, 01:04 AM
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#2
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 fell in love with a boy Group: Member Posts: 523 Joined: May 2004 Member No: 16,965 |
It's too basic.
Embellish. |
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Mar 21 2006, 06:15 PM
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#3
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<3 Group: Member Posts: 185 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 365,309 |
You sound like you know what you're talking about :] Heh, thanks bbuuuut, it's no poem or story to criticize.
Read and move on. |
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| *ranniel* |
Mar 21 2006, 10:36 PM
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#4
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Guest |
I love the title!
 I love your writing! so exquisite!
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Mar 22 2006, 01:48 PM
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#5
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 wut wut in the butt? Group: Human Posts: 2,108 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 227,723 |
this is a reaaaaaally reaaaaaaaally short story but i liked it :D. got any more?
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