Sometimes We Forget, 1st poem |
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 Mar 14 2006, 08:47 PM
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#1
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 "lal! laugh a little!"  Group: Member Posts: 192 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 364,863  |
I guess I just thought of this..
Holy sh-t, I realized this is the first poem that wasn't for school..snap I would love some critisism =) So....here we go... Sometimes We Forget Sometimes we The simple things in life Like sitting in the shade Of your favorite apple tree Or maybe we Just lying on the grass Watching the cotton-candy clouds go by I miss the crimson roses And the beautiful night stars I want to feel the sun Wrap its warm arms around my shoulders But I guess life is just too busy To stop and smell the flowers. |
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| *iNyCxShoRT* |
Mar 14 2006, 10:26 PM
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#2
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Guest |
I like this poem, how you use a lot of descriptive words to hold the reader's attention.
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Mar 15 2006, 10:40 PM
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#3
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"lal! laugh a little!" Group: Member Posts: 192 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 364,863 |
^^Yeah, I aggree
I just pretty much copied and pasted it from my sig, was too much in a hurry so didn't bother to take out all the prettiness. --->Sierra |
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Mar 15 2006, 10:52 PM
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#4
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 Senior Member Group: Human Posts: 2,817 Joined: Feb 2006 Member No: 381,065 |
i lavvvv it. lol it was wonderful
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Mar 16 2006, 12:10 AM
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#5
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crumpled up old piece of paper scribble on me Group: Member Posts: 49 Joined: Mar 2006 Member No: 386,366 |
thats was great! i read it on ur sig. but it still was amazing! ur really good keep it up!
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Mar 25 2006, 04:40 PM
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#6
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 Senior Member Group: Member Posts: 3,055 Joined: Jul 2005 Member No: 174,796 |
that was beautiful<3
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Mar 26 2006, 02:05 AM
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#7
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 wut wut in the butt? Group: Human Posts: 2,108 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 227,723 |
QUOTE(robb0 @ Mar 15 2006, 12:12 AM)  Nicely written, however it required me a lot of patience to actually read the damn thing because of the colors and such used. You don't need to "pretty" up your writing if you are confident enough about it. i agree lol. it's pretty, but all weird and distracting. i really like this one though, what it's about and everything |
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Mar 26 2006, 10:09 PM
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#8
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 no news is good news... Group: Member Posts: 123 Joined: Sep 2005 Member No: 232,063 |
It's cute.
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