cutting yourself... Options

[short_dark_hair]

Cutting is a unfortunetaly quite a popular teenage behavior and yes, during this moment of life, it can be a way to seek attention, but it's definitely not the case for everyone. And self-injury most of the time is a way to prevent from committing suicide by relieving the pain for a while , so some of the clever people who answer "if you're cutting yourself you'd better kill yourself already" should really give some thoughts about what they're saying.

I've been a cutter myself for a while, though not during my teenage years. It started when I was eighteen as a part of a general depression. I really had no choice in my head : i needed to cut or i would choke on psychological sufferings. And the cutting had a real relieving effect. It helped me getting back to normal. But it was not a normal behavior : i was sick (yes, depression is a disease) and needed help. It was quite long for me to recover, but i'm alright now.

I've found help in various places.
This site is a must read, it really explains what is self-injury, and it has a "Friend/Family" page with advices : The Secret Shame Site
This community is a very good place to find support, for cutters or/and for friends who have to deal with it : Body U nder Siege Web Board

Of course, if depression is the cause of the self-injury, then there's no other way around but seeking help of a professionnal. Though sometimes you have to see many doctors to find the one who'll really be able to treat you. (i went to four different docs, before i felt the one i'd found would really help me).

There is not one way to see or to deal with self injury, you can't just dissmiss it as "attention seeking behavior", because even if it's the case, it means that there is a deeper problem (why would the person feel the need to seek attention in the first place ?).

Hope this helps.

Thank you, thank you, thank you. <3

[paperwreck-2]

You're very welcome. i know how hard this situation can be, for veryone involved, and i'm glad if i can help.

[fading dreams]

At our school some stupid kid decided cutting yourself was "cool" and now LOTS of kids do it. I don't and I wish others didn't either. Half the kids just cut themselves to look cool which REALLY doesn't make sense. And, it doesn't solve anything.

[Panic at the dis...]

you wont go to hell if you think about it everyone has differnet religions and some people dont do it cos it is cool but because they're suffering emotionally and they are finding it hard to cope with and they turned everything that was good to them to bad and they feel really secluded and what the people need is abit of like help or time to think about things
but a load of things you guys have said is quite useful

[AngelinaTaylor]

People try to make it sound like some sort of healthy escape, but it's NOT. You can do SO many more things - take up sports, write, watch a comedy, jeez - even hang out with your friends. Put on some loud music and sing along with it. Why slash your skin? It doesn't make any sense.

And the reasons people are "depressed".. don't even get me started.

Taylor``

[BOLIN_Vee]

everyone sees me as the crazy outgoing nothing-is-wrong-with-me girl, but at home whenever i get in a huge fight with my mom, i lock myself in my room when shes outside yelling at me and i go in the bathroom and cut myself over the sink. i guess i kind of did it because i was mad at myself and it was like torturing myself for what i did. the scars never go away and im looking at them now there on my arm above the elbow.
all my friends asked me what they were and i made up some stupid thing like "a painting fell on me"
i think u should tell ur friend that those cuts may take the pain away at the time, but years later, she'll see those scars and it will remind her of why she did it and the pain will just come back again like it did for me.

[lilith]

help her feel like somebody's there for her... you can be the one to put them smiles in her face. give her attention...

[flc]

I believe it's wrong, but there's really no way you can tell that to someone who's depressed. You can't tell them to stop what they're doing, really. All you can do is try to help them out in whatever way they need. Get their minds focused on something good. Have them look forward to something.

[*Blow_Don't_SUCK*]

everyone sees me as the crazy outgoing nothing-is-wrong-with-me girl, but at home whenever i get in a huge fight with my mom, i lock myself in my room when shes outside yelling at me and i go in the bathroom and cut myself over the sink. i guess i kind of did it because i was mad at myself and it was like torturing myself for what i did. the scars never go away and im looking at them now there on my arm above the elbow.
all my friends asked me what they were and i made up some stupid thing like "a painting fell on me"
i think u should tell ur friend that those cuts may take the pain away at the time, but years later, she'll see those scars and it will remind her of why she did it and the pain will just come back again like it did for me.

No life is perfect. No one can live life without problems. You stopped cutting right?

I don't want anyone to cut anymore. One scar is just one waste of time. People can do better by smiling a bit more despite the days. No one ever has it easy, but it can be better if you keep your spirits up? Sure I'm going through hard days, but I think it would be easier if I can go through them and just ask for help. To me life is too short to be sad about everyday problems. To stop on a road after going through so many obstacles is pointless.

[myspacejunkie]

kay so. i used to cut, not a lot but still. and i wasnt one of those people who told everyone and threw it around like a banner of who they were. and i always regretted it. I finally stopped and have realized that i have been so much happier without physical scars.
I am also a very very strong Christian, and nowhere in the Bible does it say that "cutting your wrist will make you go to Hell". we all fall short to the glory of God, so no one gets to heaven by doing good deeds, and no one gets to hell by doing bad deeds. it has nothing to do with that. the Bible does say that your body is a temple and you should honor it, so yes, cutting is without a doubt wrong. but when you become a Christian, the Bible says that there is nothing you can do that will change that, unless you turn your back of God entirely and never come back.kay so, i know that kind of went away from the cutting deal, but i just didnt want anyone confused. :)

[sillakilla220]

hey if u feel like cutting yourself and it feels good then do it. thats like saying you shouldn't masturbate. if it feels good and you like doing it to yourself cut away i say

[priyas]

At our school some stupid kid decided cutting yourself was "cool" and now LOTS of kids do it. I don't and I wish others didn't either. Half the kids just cut themselves to look cool which REALLY doesn't make sense. And, it doesn't solve anything.

^^uhhh...

[Lil Dr69on]

Nooo it's sooo wrong. God created us not to let us hurt ourself.

[newyork__lies]

it's a lot more common than most people know. i think its a phase. and i think a lot of people go through it. there's always a time when someone feels they're "depressed" or, at least they think they are. a lot of people resort to self-mutilation. sadly, there's not much we can do about it, besides try and talk to the person, and help them out..

<edit>
i noticed a few people have said something about cutting being "cool". i really don't understand that concept. they don't understand that there are people out there that REALLY have a cutting problem that they almost can't control. they seem to be mocking them or something. that really ticks me off even though i'm not one of those people, if they think cutting is cool, they are most definitely wrong!
</end edit>

[subway]

its a no no go to the gym and take aerobics yoga or boxing it works

[shadowchild]

well, I even have a problem thinking about cutting myself. I almost did it once, but I couldn't even look at the knife without flipping out, so I didn't do it.

I think it'd hurt... get her help! Tell someone else about it! Don't just sit back and do nothing, get her to stop, it's a serious issue.

[*chaneun*]

I cut everyday and sometimes people black my eyes and slit my wrists until I can't stand it anymore. Of course, I always tolerate it because I'm hxc.

[*Phoenixx*]

At our school some stupid kid decided cutting yourself was "cool" and now LOTS of kids do it. I don't and I wish others didn't either. Half the kids just cut themselves to look cool which REALLY doesn't make sense. And, it doesn't solve anything.

Wtf? I never heard anything like that. That's horrible.

[xshadyxgurlx15]

well im a cutter...so if one of my friends wanted to help me..id want them to talk to me about it and stuff...yeaa so just try to talk to her about it if she pushes you away keep trying every so often uventually shesll talk

[*Teenage Mutant Ninja Meg*]

Some people just use cutting to get attention. Damn media. Just talk to her about it and tell her that you're concerned. If she doesn't listen, then it's her own well-being she's gambling with.

[myplasticfriends]

tell her my story...................

(I posted this in the "cutting" forum and just copied it for you)

cutting has got to be the stupidest thing you can do to yourself. I used to cut alot myself. I mean cuts over cuts over cuts my arms were covered. I now see a psycologist and have been for about a lil over 2 years now. She has helped alot and i love her. now you can't always get a great psyc. i know that and i guess i got lucky to have one so great. but i now know that it just isn't worth it, I didn't do it for attention either i did it for the same reason as you. My psyc. has helped me find different ways to deal with the pain and all of that crap. I still have the scars to remind me and sometimes when i look at my arms i cry. but i need the scars to be there so i remind myself constantly not to do it. It may relieve pain, but it just brings so much more pain to it all. I lost myself and should have been sent to a hospital but i wasn't because i have people who care about me and so do you. The things i have done to help get past cutting was that i got more intouch with my artistic abilities and drew what i felt, sometimes i would write it down. I also got closer to god and closer to my youth group and my own family. They have helped me and encouraged me so much it is unbelievable. but now that i'm over all of that i realize how low i was getting and how great my life really is. If you keep doing this to yourself it's just going to get worse. It's an addiction and takes some time to get over. but it is worth it quit. And by posting this thread it seems like you are doing it for attention, but maybe it's just a cry for help. All i know is that your life needs a turn around and the first thing you should do to turn it around is to stop cutting. It took me 2 years to quit, but i did it and not just for me. Don't waist your life cutting. It's NOT worth it!

[YurixWingsxX]

I used to cut myself. I did it because I was in pain. Yeah. It relieved pain. But after, it hurt. It stung. And It reaked of suckyness. I made ALL my friend worry about me. Cry because of me. And its not a good feeling. Best thing you can do, is, probably back off for awhile. And then ask her why she hurts, and why she thinks cutting herself is the answer to relieve herself of pain.

[Flavored Condom]

Relieve pain my ass. There are better ways to relieve pain.

[oXMuhNirvanaXo]

I sould get a stress ball for every person that says it releaves pain coz yeah thats just waste of blood.

[*hello moto*]

my best friend cut once. because i never done it, i can't agree with what she did or what people do to relieve pain just because "life gets hard". every deals shit, some people deal with more and worst but shit is still shit. she told me she did it because it made her feel better. i know she doesn't do it for attention because she hides her scars, and isn't very open about it. i think the ones who are very open about it and is willing to show all the scars what not, are doing it for attention which makes me not feel pity for them.

there are better ways to relieve pain.