A Theory on Love, Very Short Peom |
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 Feb 25 2006, 01:37 AM
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#1
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 Sunlight--shine on me.  Group: Member Posts: 433 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 149,201  |
A Theory on Love
Short Poetry....by Eria -------------------------------- Confusion A fusion of dank disillusion With profound ideas made forlorn... Defined with? Monotony, a pledge for monogamy to which we must conform! Allision The construction of two souls for another But fission costs dear to the norm. Defined with? Fiction, a mix of contradiction with fires brought up in the storm. ------------------------------------ Comments/Critique? What do you think? |
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| *Blow_Don't_SUCK* |
Feb 25 2006, 01:47 AM
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#2
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It's consice and breif. I suggest writing more words to help the reader get an understanding of the feeling. What you did here is more of a lecture kinda...
but otherwise, I like the use of words and how everything fits in. propz! |
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Mar 1 2006, 06:45 PM
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#3
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 ...who created this mess...? Group: Member Posts: 451 Joined: Feb 2005 Member No: 97,244 |
Very nice. It's short, yes, but the use of words and the concept and mood of the poem makes up for its length. I like how you opened it and ended it. Good job!
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Mar 1 2006, 06:52 PM
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#4
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 <3 Group: Member Posts: 185 Joined: Jan 2006 Member No: 365,309 |
It's sounds good =] your use of words were good, but maybe try using a little less, it gets confusing for some, you know?
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| *ranniel* |
Mar 1 2006, 07:54 PM
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#5
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Guest |
It's great, it's short.. It's the thing I'd like to read!
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