When on a journey..., Inspired by "The Road not Taken" in 7th Grade. |
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 Feb 25 2006, 01:28 AM
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#1
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 in the reverb chamber.  Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,022 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 300,308  |
When on a journy
Moving through fresh new plains One often comes across a path Simple and easy, the path is taken with confidence, and clarity The path is bright, new, and refreshing You are happy However one day, while traveling on the path You come to a fork The path branches off into two directions At the fork starts a wooded area As far as the eye can see, trees stand The path becomes more narrow in its dividing And one is struck with a choice Despite the constant progression on the path, One can only gaze for an instant One can see the turns before him Yet the end of either path is unknown Hidden deep within the forest One path will ultimately be taken And in this, the entrance to the woods will be lost emancipated from choice Regret quickly sits in What is beyond the other? [I was just looking through some really old writing I did. I don't really write anymore, aside from expository. But, since I had just recently been presented with really awful interpretations of Robert Frost's "The Road Not Taken," by an awful english teacher, I had to pull this up. Whatcha think? For 7th grade? Come on!  ]
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| *Blow_Don't_SUCK* |
Feb 25 2006, 01:36 AM
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#2
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^I'm in 8th grade yet I write better material than that! I even wrote better crap in 7th grade!
JOKING NATE i was joking! Nice choice of words. Nothing here is confused. Very fluent! And I like how it kinda gives you an imagery. propz Nate, propz |
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Feb 25 2006, 01:38 AM
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#3
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in the reverb chamber. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,022 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 300,308 |
QUOTE(Blow_Don't_SUCK @ Feb 25 2006, 12:36 AM)  ^I'm in 8th grade yet I write better material than that! I even wrote better crap in 7th grade! JOKING NATE i was joking! Nice choice of words. Nothing here is confused. Very fluent! And I like how it kinda gives you an imagery. propz Nate, propz  You love me forever! 
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| *Blow_Don't_SUCK* |
Feb 25 2006, 01:39 AM
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#4
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I'll be nicer if you read some of my work
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Feb 25 2006, 01:41 AM
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 Sunlight--shine on me. Group: Member Posts: 433 Joined: Jun 2005 Member No: 149,201 |
good! I do like it---however the repetition of "one" throws me off. I just generally think its not a good idea to use it like that repeatedly. Substitute "You" more and it might strike more to the soul....But i'm not sure. You'd have to try it.
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| *Blow_Don't_SUCK* |
Feb 25 2006, 01:41 AM
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#6
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^aw c'mon Molly, let him think I'm being mean! Praise him with lies so I can sound mean and he can read my work...oyeah
MOLLY READ MY WORK |
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Feb 25 2006, 01:44 AM
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#7
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in the reverb chamber. Group: Staff Alumni Posts: 4,022 Joined: Nov 2005 Member No: 300,308 |
QUOTE(Blow_Don't_SUCK @ Feb 25 2006, 12:39 AM) I'll be nicer if you read some of my work  Alright. Heh heh heh. QUOTE(EriaNight @ Feb 25 2006, 12:41 AM) good! I do like it---however the repetition of "one" throws me off. I just generally think its not a good idea to use it like that repeatedly. Substitute "You" more and it might strike more to the soul....But i'm not sure. You'd have to try it. When I wrote it I think I was going more for a kind of lecture feel. I'de imagine a college professor speaking to his class. In fact, it's less poetic and more conversational. But, you're probably right. 
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| *Blow_Don't_SUCK* |
Feb 25 2006, 01:46 AM
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#8
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| *ranniel* |
Mar 1 2006, 08:12 PM
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#9
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QUOTE(Acid Bath Slayer @ Feb 25 2006, 1:38 AM) You love me forever! I'm guessing you have lots of strong relationships. 
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