Please give me some advice!, mom and a new guy Options

[xxtaintedlips]

i feell really sad right now. it seems wierd to gush to you guys. ...
anyway my mom and I live on our own. my stepfather left us last year for another woman. Now the people that own out house want to sell it, but we are still tryin to get out of the hole that my step father draged us into. I dont know what to do i love this house! Not only that, but my mom met this man on line, i think it is to early and i dont want her to get hurt for the third time. frankly im just not ready to go on that roller coaster ride again. She said she would wait till i graduated to date again but she is not. the man has kids of his own and im an only child. i dont like little kids and i dont know how i would deal. Am i being selfish? i want my mom to be happy, but it just seems to rip open unhealed scars. Please i dont know what to do.

[love-issosweet]

it's okay to feel that way because you've been through alot. honestly, i think you should talk to your mom about your feelings. if your mom doesn't listen, talk to the guy your mom is interested in. no offense or anything, if your mom doesn't listen to you, she might have more respect towards the guy she's interested in. he might seem to have more of a voice and authority.

anyways, i'm really sorry you're going through hard times. hope you can get better

[KissMe2408]

Wow i'm really sorry :(
Unfortunately i know a bit about this subject
having gone through something similiar.
I can understand why you feel like this, and no you aren't being selfish.
Please, talk to your mom about this.
Tell her you don't feel comfortable with her in another relationship.
And you are worried about her getting hurt again, and you getting hurt again, you know?
Really talk to her about this. And i'm so sorry about your house :(
We had to move as well. But please talk to your mom, and really tell her how you feel.

[xxtaintedlips]

thanks i will take your advice

[*Programmer*]

--; tell her how you feel. because you know what gonna happen if you don't.... time your mother got a reality check....if you have to help her see the hole she is in....then do it...there's no time for love in her life when she has that many financial/living/ life problems going on... once she get's herself out of that hole...she's free to do whatever she wants..but her family should be her first responsibility before her personal intrests...

[xxtaintedlips]

heeheee my cats my only confort lol!

[misoshiru]

tell her how you feel, but you'll have to cope with her decisions as well.

[*Zatanna*]

I'm a little mixed about this.

I think it's a bit early for your mom to start dating seriously again - however, she shouldn't have to wait until you graduate to date again. (I'm not sure what the timing is - if you're graduating in one year, two years, stc...). The house and the mess your former stepfather left you guys in is horrible. I see this happen to so many women and it never fails to anger me and break my heart at the same time.

I wouldn't say that you are selfish, but the only child thing? Honey, get over it. Fact of the matter is, when you get to a certain age, and you're a single parent most guys you meet will have kids of their own. Would you seriously want your mom to avoid potential happiness because you don't like little kids?

I think it's amazing and loving that you care about your mom's well being. She shouldn't tread into anything serious right now. Healing takes time and rebounding isn't the best method of therapy. Like I said though, meeting people and dating lightly is a good thing. I know it's scary because you don't want her to go through that heartbreak again.

No simple answers or solutions here. I wish you the best of luck.

[xxtaintedlips]

thanks...wow i know that i should support her because she needs all the support she can get, but she seemed to jump into this thing without even asking me. i guess that may hurt a little. thanks so much i hope to talk to her when she gets home

[FoxBandCutie08]

Let your mom know that her choices also affect you, and she should talk to you about them before she goes and makes major decisions about both of your lives. Well, if she does go through with this guy, maybe he can help you financially and you wouldn't have to move. Maybe that's your mother's motive. Talk to her about it.

[xxtaintedlips]

well, i talked to my mom and she out right said i was selfish.
she said sometime like life does not last forever and i dont want to be alone. she did not care that i was not ready. I told her how i felt and everything. She said well, you will be moving out soon to college...well thats a while away....2-3 years!
I told her that her decisions made huge impacts on my life and she said she wanted to do sometime fun for a change! grrr....
i told her how i felt about having little kids (two boys around) when im 15 and they are 6. Im an only child and i dont think that it is right for my mom to go trough that or make me go through that. not only that, but recently one of the boys was raped at school by another kid...MY AGE! (not my school) I dont know what to do. I guess i just have to let things happen and if things get really bad i can move in with my dad or somthing...i dont know. Please i need all the help i can get!
EDIT- i have to have dinner with him tommarow im soo mad! my mom wont let me get out of it. She says i dont have to "marry him" or love him cuz she knows how much i was hurt from her last relationship.

[`Kiwi]

♥ ♥ ♥
Aww hun. I know its hard. My Dad left when I was
6 weeks old and re-married when I was 2, to this lady I got really close
to. They were married for over 7 years and they just got divorced, and
like 2 months later he went through 6 freaking girls in the course of like
5 months! And now he's engaged to this new girl! And the girl he used
to be married to also met a guy online and I'm stuck in the middle, and
now my Mom likes this guy I really don't care for.

Its a tough boat to be in, but sometimes you just have to play along
quietly. If its what your Mom wants, you have to respect that. And you
never know...maybe it won't work out. Just try and pretend to be happy
for her. I'm sure its probably hard for her, too. *hugs* Just hang in there. :3
+ + +
♥ ♥ ♥

[xxtaintedlips]

awww...^^ thanks for the support
happy v-day!